My OKCupid experiment is over. FINALLY was deleted/banned. (self.OkCupid)

{OkCupid}

50 ups - 39 downs = 11 votes

This is a story about a 19-20year old guy has sex over 100 times with 100+ women because of OKCupid.

I am using a throwaway but because of the sheer volume I did this with, I may even be recognized.

Experiment: See how many women I could have sex with, with the opening message being "Why haven't we had sex yet?"

Why: It was April/May 2012 and I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I was taking a summer Human Sexuality class for my university and we had a paper to write, we could pick our own topic for once! I decided to compare and contrast the differences between online dating and offline dating in terms of casual sex. I'm not gonna lie to you, I mainly came up with this because I was slightly depressed and kind of on the rebound.

I proceeded to message hundreds of girls in my area on OKCupid by only looking at their picture and relationship status (I ain't a cheater). If she was single and at least a 6 out of 10 for attractiveness (with 5 being average) then I messaged her.

I messaged 300 women that week with a simple message "Why haven't we had sex yet?" Only about 70 responded over the course of the next couple weeks. I'll share some of the statistics below but from that 300, I had sex with 26 women from that initial 300. I then went to some clubs and bars and tried the same thing. I went up to 83 women and simply smiled and said "Why haven't we had sex yet?". I was slapped, I had drinks thrown in my face, I was mocked, but shockingly I had sex with 8 women from the offline experiment.

I'll give a little about me. I was 19 at the time, slightly overweight and on /r/rateme I've averaged a 6.4 in looks. I am a personable fellow if I am being honest and I moved around a lot so I know a little about a lot of things. Basically I am super easy to talk to and I've been told I have a great sense of humor.

Stats:

OKCupid - 300 women messaged (ages 18-24)

No reply: 231

Negative reply: 38 (e.g. "Because you're gross")

Positive reply: 11 (e.g. "I don't know, you tell me ;)")

Neutral reply: 21 (e.g. "What?", "???", "Excuse me?")

Of the 11 positive replies I had sex with 9 women.

Of the 21 neutral replies, I had sex with 12 women.

Of the 39 negative replies, I had sex with 5 women.

Success rate 26/300 = 8.67% or 26/70 = 37.14%

Offline - 83 women contacted (ages 18-25ish)

Negative response: 65 (e.g. "What the fuck", Drink in face, slap)

Positive response: 8 (e.g. "Because I need another drink in me" with smile)

Neutral response: 10 (e.g. "That is an interesting pickup line")

Of the 8 positive responses, I had sex with 6 women.

Of the 10 neutral responses, I had sex with 1 woman.

Of the 65 negative responses, I had sex with 1 woman.

Success rate 8/83 = 9.63%

Conclusion: Basically if you're looking for casual sex, you'll find it.

After the paper/experiment: So after I received my A- on my paper I didn't use OKCupid other than responding to random woment that contacted me first. I was drunk one night and I apparently decided to run my experiment again. I messaged about 200-250 women that night.

I had a similar amount of response percentages and their types of responses. I kept it up. The rest of the summer I had sex with about 20 more women along with repeats from before.

I came up with about a dozen pre-scripted responses based on the women's responses. I would just copy and paste, copy and paste.

I kept doing it on a much smaller scale during the school year and added on about 10 more women.

The following summer (2013) I had a job somewhere away from home and thought "Why not" and proceded to message pretty much 1000 women over the course of the next 3 months. I had a much higher percentage of no replies but this is when I found out about the last logged in! (I had no idea!) Anyway, I added another 30+ woman from OKcupid alone all while using "Why haven't we had sex yet" as the first message.

I became an OKCupid Moderator in June 2013 (REALLY!).

At this point I had sex with roughly 90 women because of OKCupid. I was honestly addicted. The past semester, I had to hit 100. I eventually did during Christmas break and kind of ironically, I was banned the following day.

Ttl;dr *I had sex with over 100 women by using the line "Why haven't we had sex yet?" *

So that is my story! I think I am going to take a break for a little while but I may go back to OKCupid to actually date, I am honestly looking to settle down a bit. Also, if you're one of the women I messaged... now you know.

81 comments submitted at 01:22:45 on Jan 6, 2014 by whyhaventwehadsexyet

  • [-]
  • aryabhata
  • 32 Points
  • 02:10:10, 6 January

What kind of university are you at where a professor would give you anything but an F for an experiment with human subjects that clearly didn’t involve informed consent or an institutional review board?

  • [-]
  • Tigmatt
  • 16 Points
  • 02:21:26, 6 January

University of Phoenix.

  • [-]
  • Cow_Pirate
  • 4 Points
  • 03:06:17, 6 January

I was gonna say ASU, but close enough.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 12 Points
  • 03:06:42, 6 January

That was exactly what I was thinking. If any professor received a paper about a dude fucking chicks for an 'experiment', there would be an F and possibly university sanctions.

Perhaps OP is a big fat liar?

  • [-]
  • aryabhata
  • 8 Points
  • 03:13:51, 6 January

The liar hypothesis seems likely.

  • [-]
  • backspintron
  • 4 Points
  • 07:09:08, 6 January

Can you explain why he should receive an F if he satisfied the grading criteria for the paper? It was a class on human sexuality, and casual sex seems to be a relevant topic.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 4 Points
  • 07:16:00, 6 January

Experimenting on people without their consent and without approval from a review board is not allowed in universities. OP is using his class as a way for him to justify his douchy behavior.

  • [-]
  • backspintron
  • 5 Points
  • 07:22:43, 6 January

>Experimenting on people without their consent and without approval from a review board is not allowed in universities.

This is not a hard and fast rule. This a sociology class, and it's pretty common in sociology that people study the behavior of others for academic purposes, and even insert themselves in the study. Just because someone is doing an experiment does not require informed consent. Informed consent comes into play when the experiment bears some sort of tangible risk to the subject. There is no risk to the people he "experimented" on - he could have done the exact same thing for shits and giggles and it would not have made a difference. He simply documented his experience.

>OP is using his class as a way for him to justify his douchy behavior.

While this is a nice bit of feel good bullshit that would seem to justify an F, it is backed by nothing but your own opinion. If you know anything about informed consent rules, you should also know that professor grading criteria should be as objective as possible.

  • [-]
  • aryabhata
  • 1 Points
  • 17:44:03, 6 January

You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s up to an IRB to decide whether an experiment has potential to harm the subjects, and thus whether informed consent is required. That the field is sociology makes no difference. Having sex with subjects certainly has the potential to harm them, both physically and mentally, and no IRB would conclude otherwise.

My objections have nothing to do with my views on casual sex—actually, I’m rather in favor of it—and everything to do with the most elementary and obvious research ethics.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 0 Points
  • 08:10:34, 6 January

> tangible risk to the subject

Like OP spreading an STD for the sake of sociology? IF OP uses his class as a justification for this 'experiment' then, yes, informed consent is necessary. There is a reason for oversight in research, and OP demonstrated that need very nicely. While it is not sanctioned 'research', it was still done under the guise of an assignment.

Researchers do not get to determine 'risk'. Committees do. This wasn't research, this was OP using an assignment to justify his douchy behavior.

  • [-]
  • backspintron
  • 2 Points
  • 08:36:26, 6 January

>Like OP spreading an STD for the sake of sociology?

Your assuming OP has an STD based on what? I don't remember him mentioning that he has an STD.

>IF OP uses his class as a justification for this 'experiment' then, yes, informed consent is necessary. There is a reason for oversight in research, and OP demonstrated that need very nicely. While it is not sanctioned 'research', it was still done under the guise of an assignment.

I just told you why informed consent is not necessary, and you completely ignored it and just restated your original point and added nothing new.

How again did OP "demonstrate" that need?

Stating that there is a reason for oversight and research, and failing to state that reason, is a pretty shitty form of argument.

For someone who purports to be knowledgeable about scientific methods, you really have a shitty grasp on logic.

Just because you don't approve of OP having a lot of casual sex doesn't provide justification for him failing an assignment.

Come back when you can actually think through shit with an objective mind.

  • [-]
  • terribleusername
  • 1 Points
  • 03:21:10, 7 January

It's not that OP has an STI, but that this "experiment" is a potentnial vector for the spread of STIs in general. As such the school's research ethics board would have something rather stern to say about it.

OP is a liar (to us or his prof) or OP goes to a shitty school.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • -3 Points
  • 09:41:50, 6 January

OP stated he has Herpes 1. Anything else you want to argue with?

  • [-]
  • reedrichardsstretch
  • 1 Points
  • 21:05:08, 6 January

You mad bro?

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 0 Points
  • 03:18:23, 6 January

> Perhaps OP is a big fat liar?

Yes, I wrote 5000 words on reddit for all those fake internet points!

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 7 Points
  • 03:22:10, 6 January

Isn't that exactly what you did, regardless of whether or not it's true?

  • [-]
  • cullen9
  • 6 Points
  • 06:46:43, 6 January

It's a text post he gets no points.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 2 Points
  • 03:24:55, 6 January

I just felt like I needed to share it. I ain't gonna lie, I'm not totally proud of this. I have only told one other person about this and it felt nice to get it off my chest

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • -3 Points
  • 03:26:00, 6 January

Ahhh, so you are somewhat self-aware.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 8 Points
  • 03:17:56, 6 January

I didn't write about the experiment or necessarily call it that in my paper. I was comparing and contrasting the different views of casual sex in the offline and online world. We were supposed to relate to real life experiences we had. I just created my own experiences.

  • [-]
  • aryabhata
  • -2 Points
  • 03:56:12, 6 January

So you’re saying that you should have gotten an F, but didn’t. Cool beans. I admire your data analysis and . . . scientific spirit, but there’s something skeezy about how you went about it and how you talk about all these people that you interacted with.

  • [-]
  • SpearOfTheDragon
  • 20 Points
  • 02:15:42, 7 January

You guys need to top slut-shaming him

  • [-]
  • ForgotMyThrowaway_
  • 5 Points
  • 01:42:06, 6 January

Surprisingly interesting, but now there will be copycats.

  • [-]
  • aelya31
  • 5 Points
  • 02:44:08, 6 January

>Of the 65 negative responses, I had sex with 1 woman.

>Of the 39 negative replies, I had sex with 5 women.

I'm impressed that you got negative responses to have sex with you

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 2 Points
  • 03:19:45, 6 January

I can be pretty charming when I want to be

  • [-]
  • aelya31
  • 2 Points
  • 03:22:48, 6 January

are you on the debate team?

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 1 Points
  • 03:28:06, 6 January

Nope. I just exuded confidence. Girls apparently like that. Those took quite a bit of work however

  • [-]
  • gorubygo
  • 2 Points
  • 10:33:39, 6 January

yeah, if someone is really attractive and confident most people would even if they didn't like them as a person. some people don't mind being with people they downright loathe if it's just for one night.

  • [-]
  • GrayJacket
  • 1 Points
  • 08:53:48, 6 January

Let alone 5. More negative responses had a happy ending than the positive ones.

  • [-]
  • reciclaje
  • 9 Points
  • 01:26:39, 6 January

The epitome of the words: "....you know, for science."

  • [-]
  • Banskyi
  • 11 Points
  • 01:28:24, 6 January

So I'm just going to go out and say that this was a good example of quantity over quality

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 6 Points
  • 01:51:59, 6 January

Oh absolutely. But there was definitely some quality in all that.

  • [-]
  • tank5
  • 4 Points
  • 01:48:16, 6 January

Were there dates, or was it straight from message to somebody's house?

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 4 Points
  • 01:53:43, 6 January

A little of both. Mainly straight to their place or straight to mine.

  • [-]
  • aryabhata
  • 4 Points
  • 02:02:25, 6 January

To the subset of women who get a large number of messages: Prepare for the onslaught.

  • [-]
  • DirectiveNineteen
  • 2 Points
  • 05:49:58, 6 January

Whew. Safe yet again.

  • [-]
  • I-just-cant_
  • 4 Points
  • 05:41:24, 6 January

Just out of curiosity, why were you banned? Is there a limit to how many people you can message?

  • [-]
  • framethecat
  • 14 Points
  • 01:42:44, 6 January

eww

  • [-]
  • trustmeiamagirl
  • 2 Points
  • 04:01:37, 6 January

Is this gonna be the new crock pot thing?

  • [-]
  • GrayJacket
  • 2 Points
  • 08:52:58, 6 January

Crock pot thing? Crock pots got people laid at one point?

  • [-]
  • jacques_chester
  • 7 Points
  • 01:38:09, 6 January

Some women want to have sex?

Huh.

  • [-]
  • happy_jihad
  • 7 Points
  • 02:07:09, 6 January

What were your follow up messages? How did you navigate from initial message to sexy times? Coffee date first?

  • [-]
  • trastevere
  • -6 Points
  • 04:32:15, 6 January

We really don't need to give PUAs or /r/seduction any more inspiration here.

  • [-]
  • JustThePit
  • 5 Points
  • 01:40:22, 6 January

Weren't you ever worried about diseases?

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 9 Points
  • 01:53:19, 6 January

Oh absolutely. I tested myself monthly and I always asked in person. If they hesitated, I left.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 4 Points
  • 03:07:54, 6 January

Herpes isn't tested for with routine STD tests - just FYI.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 5 Points
  • 03:19:06, 6 January

My health insurance covered 12 blood STD tests every year.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 2 Points
  • 03:22:58, 6 January

Usually, unless you specifically ask them to test for Herpes, they don't.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 6 Points
  • 03:31:54, 6 January

I did. I tested positive for Herpes 1 everytime (makes sense, what 90% of people test positive for it?) and negative for 2.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • -8 Points
  • 03:46:52, 6 January

So, you just knowingly gave oral herpes to 100 people? And it's nowhere fucking near 90%.

  • [-]
  • aporetix
  • 7 Points
  • 04:01:32, 6 January

In the US, epidemiological estimates for HSV-1 put it at 70-80% in the adult population.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • 4 Points
  • 04:30:58, 6 January

Source? Most sources I found estimate it to be at 57% in the US.

http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=203222

  • [-]
  • aporetix
  • 5 Points
  • 05:46:59, 6 January

The Fujie et al (2006) you reference is based on NHANESII (data through 2004). The most recent data are from NHANESIII (data through 2010). I took a cursory glance at the NHANES data and I was surprised to see that the estimated prevalence has actually decreased several percentage points from NHANESII to NHANESIII.

But there are two squabbly points here (these things considered, we either agree on the numbers or at least disagree less):

1) I said (without emphasis) that I was talking about the adult prevalence rate.

2) The ~57% age-adjusted prevalence from the NHANESII data is for the 14-49 year old demographic band. Because HSV-1 is a "lifetime infection," the lifetime prevalence necessarily increases by cohort age up to some unknown asymptote (see, for example, Smith & Robinson (2002). Age-specific prevalence of infection with herpes simplex virus types 2 and 1: A global review. J of Infection Diseases, 186, S3-S28.) So the 57% is actually a lower asymptote on the adult prevalence.

None of this has anything to do with the price of butter/is any way an attempt to justify OP though. Just sayin, safer to assume that anyone over 25 has been infected

  • [-]
  • jack_skellington
  • 1 Points
  • 02:25:42, 7 January

You can't give oral herpes without breakouts. It's unfair to pose an accusatory question about "knowingly giving oral herpes to 100 people" when it's just as likely that he "knowingly abstained during breakouts and gave oral herpes to 0 people."

Of all the STDs a person could get, this one is easily managed. I have it, was married for 18 years with it, and my wife never caught it despite thousands of makeout sessions over 2 decades. Of course, I wasn't a douchebag who kissed while in a breakout. I'd like to give the OP the benefit of the doubt and assume likewise.

  • [-]
  • EuNaTharian
  • -1 Points
  • 02:47:15, 7 January

> You can't give oral herpes without breakouts.

Yes you can give oral herpes without breakouts. Please look at the studies already referenced lower in the thread. There is also an increase in incidents of people with oral herpes spreading it through oral sex. I'd guess it's because of people like OP who expose over 100 people to it within a single year.

It's nice that you've managed not to spread it to 1 person. But, it is one of the most easily spreadable STDs. It spreads for a reason.

  • [-]
  • jack_skellington
  • 2 Points
  • 03:15:51, 7 January

> Please look at the studies already referenced lower in the thread.

I just read this:

http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=203222

and found nothing to back up your claim. There are no other studies referenced lower in the thread. Please cite a quote from those studies. It would help me to understand. Thanks.

EDIT: I found my own pile of info here and it kinda backs you up. It says that genital herpes can infect someone even if there are no lesions. However, I wasn't talking about that form of herpes. I was talking about the cold sore version. That version seems to be far more restricted, though it does have this text about it:

> To infect people, the herpes simplex viruses (both HSV-1 and HSV-2) must get into the body through tiny injuries in the skin or through a mucous membrane, such as inside the mouth or on the genital area.

So, I've only heard of injury transmission and that bears that out, but it does leave open that mucous membranes could do it too. So I stand corrected. However, I still contend that after being with someone for 18 years and never transferring it means that cautious, healthy, non-wounded people are at extremely low risk. And if you get it, it's not very important anyway. Of course in terms of this dude exposing himself to 100 women, that's probably not cool.

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • 0 Points
  • 08:56:58, 6 January

But for science, so, it's cool.

  • [-]
  • z3dster
  • 4 Points
  • 01:43:05, 6 January

like Pokemon, got to catch'em all

  • [-]
  • LastMimsiE
  • 4 Points
  • 01:33:18, 6 January

I don't know whether to be offended or impressed. Either way kudos to you...I think.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 9 Points
  • 01:52:44, 6 January

Why not both?

  • [-]
  • reallyhatemayonnaise
  • 3 Points
  • 01:38:01, 6 January

I hope you used condoms.

  • [-]
  • whyhaventwehadsexyet
  • 5 Points
  • 01:52:18, 6 January

Yes. And I started testing myself monthly

  • [-]
  • brennervate
  • 3 Points
  • 02:10:18, 6 January

yuck.

  • [-]
  • hairlinefairy
  • 3 Points
  • 04:26:05, 6 January

how tall are you? i'd bet you aren't short relative to other guys in your area.

/r/rateme is full of morons in general, but the rating doesn't factor in height which is super important, especially for casual sex with complete strangers.

i'm guessing that you are more sexually attractive than you let on.

  • [-]
  • 2bABee
  • 2 Points
  • 01:26:55, 6 January

You cracked the code bro.

  • [-]
  • SethQ
  • 1 Points
  • 04:20:45, 7 January

So, just so we're clear, you're attractive, aren't you? I mean, like, a solid seven or eight?

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • 0 Points
  • 02:08:08, 6 January

I think the most offensive part of this to me is that someone graded this shit show.

It's not the sex having. It's the sex having to prove a point and treating people as hash marks on a tally sheet.

  • [-]
  • fslakj
  • 6 Points
  • 03:31:52, 6 January

you love it anyway

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • -1 Points
  • 04:29:57, 6 January

I think maybe I've never felt worse about humanity.

  • [-]
  • GrayJacket
  • 5 Points
  • 08:50:53, 6 January

Maybe. Maybe not.

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • 0 Points
  • 09:00:08, 6 January

Ehh. I'm pretty sure when the concepts of "genocide," I felt worse. And a couple things up there with genocide. But in my day-to-day? This takes the cake. And fucks it, because it didn't put up too much of a fight.

  • [-]
  • GrayJacket
  • 2 Points
  • 09:10:54, 6 January

Because it asked the cake "Why haven't we had sex yet?".

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • -3 Points
  • 09:26:51, 6 January

Hey, I don't judge.

  • [-]
  • letsgofightdragons
  • 3 Points
  • 01:28:14, 7 January

Objectivity

  • [-]
  • kstoops2conquer
  • 0 Points
  • 02:02:09, 7 January

Come again?

  • [-]
  • night157
  • 1 Points
  • 02:01:39, 6 January

Ladies of OKC, brace yourselves! Your inboxes will be flooded with this message now! [But not from me.]