The confession of a pathetic girl. (self.confession)
5 ups - 2 downs = 3 votes
I just want to share my story because I am completely ridiculous and pathetic.
Our 2 year anniversary is coming up soon. It's been a rocky relationship. Prior to the first night we met, I hadn't been in a truly committed relationship for about 4 years. I'd met men of interest, it just never worked out or didn't go far. The first night we met I was instantly attracted but honestly I never thought we'd speak again. About 2 weeks later out of boredom I shot a text messaged asking if he wanted to hang out. We ended up hanging out and a few times after that. I fell in love with him. About a month later he just disappeared, out of sight. A month after that, he resurfaced. I think this is where everything went wrong with me, I'd never had an issue letting go of someone or moving on. I don't know why I forgave so easily, but with no question I took him back. The next year would be rough, full of make-ups, break-ups, and complete lies. I've forgiven him for so much... cheating, other women falling in love with him. Oh my gosh, I can't even name it all and I am so ashamed to even share this. I've just been so forgiving and completely stupid. He would constantly become angry with me, leave me, and give me the silent treatment for days. Finally coming back after much pathetic begging and whatnot on my part. We broke up again for a long period and right before I left the state to pursue other goals, we rekindled and have been in a LDR since. I let my family and friends believe everything is perfect. In reality, I am a stupid fucking girl. I can't even list the amount of lies and betrayal that I've let go, because I'm far too ashamed. Recently I unloaded on a bunch of lies and wanted the truth. Now I am a million miles away while he ignores me and continues to tell me he doesn't want to be with me and I continue my pathetic begging. I feel so stupid typing this all out, like why can't I just get the hint? Why would I even want to continue a relationship like this? It's not healthy, but yet here I am... the moment he comes back to me I will forgive everything.
4 comments submitted at 00:21:07 on Jan 10, 2014 by patheticgirlthrowawa