Sex After marriage (i.imgur.com)

{funny}

15169 ups - 13011 downs = 2158 votes

1636 comments submitted at 15:02:13 on Jan 16, 2014 by thefabgar

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 86 Points
  • 16:54:07, 16 January

For me marriage was like a damn light switch and I didn't find out that it would change until after I got married. I wish my wife was still my girlfriend.

  • [-]
  • symon_says
  • 55 Points
  • 17:33:25, 16 January

How does this even happen. Why would you marry a person where something as simple as physical intimacy is an issue that can't even be discussed and repaired. People are so crazy.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 67 Points
  • 17:40:42, 16 January

Together for 7 1/2 years, all needs fulfilled the entire time. Once we were married she became the "I don't want to be touched" woman with a 2 foot constant invisible barrier around her. Calling attention to the issue makes things worse because in her mind "things are bad".

For some people "Ignorance is bliss"

  • [-]
  • InfiniteChimp
  • 54 Points
  • 17:44:10, 16 January

Seriously, how does that happen? How does signing a piece of paper and saying "I do" do that to someone?

  • [-]
  • onacho
  • 73 Points
  • 18:01:35, 16 January

I wish I knew the answer to that. My wife begged me to marry her, and for about 5 minutes she was a good wife. A year later, she was fucking someone else. We held on two more years, but she lived out of state. Now we're divorced, and she remarried in 3 months. I haven't talked to her personally in almost two years now. I don't understand humans often.

  • [-]
  • xam83
  • 25 Points
  • 18:31:52, 16 January

Fuck

  • [-]
  • zarepath
  • 4 Points
  • 19:05:11, 16 January

good advice

  • [-]
  • olddog85
  • 1 Points
  • 02:10:38, 17 January

Fuck indeed.

  • [-]
  • grae313
  • 8 Points
  • 20:38:34, 16 January

I think (and I'm speaking as a woman here), that some women have this "Disney Disorder" where they subliminally believe that they need to find their prince charming and get married and then suddenly their life will be better, they will be happy and fulfilled, and life will be as they dreamed it.

When they get married and realize they are still the same, you're still the same, and they are still unsatisfied with their life, it falls apart. A lot of women (and men) have been in relationships for almost their entire adult lives and have not figured out what it takes to be happy and satisfied on their own.

  • [-]
  • shamoni
  • 9 Points
  • 19:19:45, 16 January

It's shit like this that scares the fuck outta me. I should quit this thread.

  • [-]
  • onacho
  • 8 Points
  • 19:24:23, 16 January

I dated her for 7 years before getting married. Before that, she was ideal. She was everything I wanted in a person, and we went through such terrible travails together that I thought nothing could tear us apart. It only took one year to shatter that perception entirely.

  • [-]
  • sbowesuk
  • 2 Points
  • 19:08:10, 16 January

She sounds to me like the sort of person who desperately wants things, then when she gets them, becomes completely uninterested. Such people tend to have unrealistic expectations that can't possible live up to reality, ergo they set themselves up for disappointment. Just my 2 cents.

  • [-]
  • AoE-Priest
  • 2 Points
  • 19:24:10, 16 January

Some women will sleep with their man a lot to get them to commit. Once they have the commitment in the bag, they stop putting out. It's basically a bait and switch. She was never sexually attracted to you in the first place. She's sexually attracted to bad boys, but they don't make good husbands. You, on the other hand, make a good husband but she is sexually repulsed by you. She will sleep with you long enough to get you to marry her, give her babies, and then she will slowly stop putting out. Of course, not all women are like that, but some are

  • [-]
  • tartay745
  • -3 Points
  • 20:14:00, 16 January

Get your red pill brainwashed swill out of here. Life is much more complex than you fuck heads think.

  • [-]
  • dead_lift_it
  • 5 Points
  • 21:49:58, 16 January

No need to be aggressive. He basically just gave a crude definition of "settling" which is a real thing.

  • [-]
  • bjt23
  • 2 Points
  • 21:54:27, 16 January

Ehh that is pretty red pill right there but they did say some, and I'm sure that's true in some cases. Most people I'm sure get nauseous just thinking about sleeping with people they aren't attracted to.

  • [-]
  • JackRayleigh
  • 1 Points
  • 18:54:22, 16 January

Man every story I read on this post is making me more and more depressed, I'm sorry you had to go through that =/

  • [-]
  • onacho
  • 3 Points
  • 18:57:28, 16 January

I put everything I had left in life in her. My parents are both gone, and I have no siblings or other close relatives. She was it. When it happened, though, it was like a light switch. One day she was talking to me normally, the next it was "fuck you." I tried everything in the book...but by the time I was that far along, I had no way to do what her current husband has done, namely strip her of any ability to act on her own.

  • [-]
  • netwalker11
  • 1 Points
  • 19:30:35, 16 January

Those feels bro, I know what you mean... hug it out.

You'll be much better going your own way.

Always maintain frame.

  • [-]
  • RoccoRacer
  • 18 Points
  • 18:30:32, 16 January

I'm convinced that a woman marries a man hoping that she will change. Conversely, a man marries a woman hoping that she won't.

  • [-]
  • stuckinleaves
  • 3 Points
  • 19:33:37, 16 January

This happened to me and my ex. She pushed for us to be married. At the time I was happy to oblige because I was stuck in this fantasy land of the idea of being married. Wasn't till near the end did I realize she was doing so because she felt that her feelings of doubt would change. They never did. Thank god we never got married, although we have a car together. sigh.

  • [-]
  • kencole54321
  • 1 Points
  • 02:13:42, 17 January

A car is nothing compared to a pet or a house! You're okay.

  • [-]
  • darkcustom
  • 1 Points
  • 21:38:56, 16 January

And the man doesn't change but the woman does. This is what I always say when people ask why I don't believe in marriage.

  • [-]
  • VaginalAssaultRifles
  • 1 Points
  • 20:20:12, 16 January

That was probably her plan all along. She wanted kids, and she wanted somebody to help raise them, but she hated sex. This was the most economic route to what she wanted.

  • [-]
  • flickster94087
  • 2 Points
  • 20:31:41, 16 January

I have a friend going trough a divorce who won't stop talking like he's the most knowledgable psychologist ever, but it's really common that women (and men) expect certain things from the relationship change, and when that doesn't happen they begin to change on the inside. Whether from resentment, immaturity, fear, so many reasons, it's because they couldn't (or didn't know they needed to) communicate what they were expecting out of the relationship.

The light switch sex thing, in my personal experience can be a physical change. I'm not married but it happened to me around 22, all of a sudden my libido just SANK. I had changed birth control a couple times and even after being off any hormonal BC for years, it never went back to normal.

  • [-]
  • aswokei
  • 1 Points
  • 19:28:14, 16 January

Because once the woman marries she's got what she wanted: security. Even if there is divorce, she gets half. Once they get married, all power is transferred to the woman. After they get married, they don't need to be nice any longer. It's a simple matter of a shift in leverage and power. That's what marriage changes.

Men often don't realize it, but before marriage, they have all of the power, and the women are begging for the man to marry him, because she loves him. Yeah, that's why. I'm sure.

  • [-]
  • simulations
  • 1 Points
  • 19:48:04, 16 January

After that piece of paper gets signed, it takes alot more work to break up with someone, so you feel comfortable and let yourself go.

  • [-]
  • SebiGoodTimes
  • 2 Points
  • 20:17:05, 16 January

Some people just want the conquest. I knew a stunningly beautiful woman who said the man she married changed very quickly after they signed the papers. The office visits stopped. The romantic walks on the beach and the candlelight dinners stopped. He just expected her to put out every night and thought that was that. She divorced him after 2 years, but said the marriage was over in her heart in under one year.

And believe me, she had the exotic, Brazillian look that men would kill for.

  • [-]
  • hambeast24
  • 1 Points
  • 21:35:11, 16 January

If not for marriage, either person can easily leave at any time, marriage destroys that freedom and the relationship suffers for it.

  • [-]
  • dead_lift_it
  • 1 Points
  • 21:46:21, 16 January

It's purely my opinion, but I believe there are three reasons for what why it happens:

  1. The woman has "settled" (AKA her husband may not be her ideal choice, but he is adequate enough and she is aging/doesn't feel like looking anymore). You can see how interest would plummet after marriage.

  2. Marriage has caused the man to change. We are all kind of different behind closed doors. May not be the same person the wife originally envisioned herself living with forever.

  3. Gold diggers

  • [-]
  • h8rsgunah8
  • 0 Points
  • 18:54:37, 16 January

Simple:

  1. Man puts a ring on her finger

  2. The ring activates a one way vagina shutdown sequence

2a. In some women, this also activates "gain weight", "grow fat", and "stop trying to look attractive" processes. "Bitch more", "argue", "complain", and "feign headaches" are triggered as well

  1. These trigger "put dick in the box (and moth ball your junk)" routines in men. In some men, an alternate process - "put dick in another box" are activated.

  2. The program "Marriage" has effectively crashed, a sub program "have sex" stopped responding. Reboot and reset options are ALMOST never operational, initiate "marriage shut down sequence" is now ruining at nearly 100%

  3. A program "contact divorce lawyer" is deployed and that spins up "divorce" process

  4. Resources are distributed, "marriage" is uninstalled, however forever damaging both initiators.

  5. Lawyer profits

  6. Abort, retry, fail?

  • [-]
  • forcrowsafeast
  • 0 Points
  • 20:47:19, 16 January

Seems like evolutionary psychology would explain it pretty well. It probably won't be a popular answer because given what we know about certain subsets of the population, especially large ones amongst women. It'll tend to come off as cruel instead of merely dispassionate in a world where we pefer to, as neurology is increasingly taking note, invent reasons, problems to explain behaviors when the behavior can be shown to persist outside the narrative we try to encapsulate it with. It reminds me of psychoanalysts describing human character as a vital lie, they were pretty much dead on on that note.

  • [-]
  • art_holler
  • 6 Points
  • 18:29:32, 16 January

How did she eventually leave the "I don't want to be touched" phase? (Assuming 'all needs fulfilled the entire time')

EDIT: Just read your reply to a comment below. OK so you were together 7 1/2 years before marriage, and things changed after marriage. I see.

  • [-]
  • Alexwastaken
  • 4 Points
  • 20:48:42, 16 January

I hear ya. When I bring it up, hell if I just compliment my wife, she tells me to stop pressuring her to have sex.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 1 Points
  • 20:56:48, 16 January

They think everything is a means to an end. The end being sex and that it shouldn't be a prize to be won. Then when you ask why you don't have sex, they say it's because you didn't do this or that, making it a prize in the end.

I understand it, it just doesn't make sense.

  • [-]
  • Alexwastaken
  • 3 Points
  • 21:09:58, 16 January

Maybe they don't realize that sex wouldn't be the goal if it happened more often. I'm fine with fooling around and not having sex, as long as we had sex the day before, or the day before that even. But when you got 2 months without sex, you're fucking right it's the goal.

  • [-]
  • anon2413
  • 3 Points
  • 19:24:30, 16 January

I seriously want to curl up in your comment and go to sleep. It is very comforting to know there are people out there dealing with the same shit I am.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 2 Points
  • 19:27:53, 16 January

Join us in /r/deadbedrooms

The downside is that you will always find someone of the opposite sex in the same situation... figures

  • [-]
  • strangersdk
  • 1 Points
  • 23:49:10, 16 January

Divorce or couples counseling. Choose.

  • [-]
  • Moiraine
  • 1 Points
  • 19:44:00, 16 January

The person you have arguments with when you've been married for five years may not be the same person you married.

  • [-]
  • symon_says
  • 1 Points
  • 19:49:01, 16 January

Well, I'd hope not...but I guess you're implying they didn't develop into a better person.

  • [-]
  • Moiraine
  • 1 Points
  • 19:52:19, 16 January

Sometimes it's not about better or worse; people just grow into incompatibilities. Source: Previous marriage.

  • [-]
  • _JessePinkman_
  • 18 Points
  • 17:08:13, 16 January

Trust me, I feel you.

  • [-]
  • ButtonFury
  • 44 Points
  • 17:55:21, 16 January

But she doesn't.

  • [-]
  • nootrino
  • 3 Points
  • 18:35:33, 16 January

That stings.

  • [-]
  • Jelly_F_ish
  • 1 Points
  • 21:31:53, 16 January

Is that a banana?

  • [-]
  • Pierre1856
  • 2 Points
  • 02:11:49, 17 January

I know the feeling. My wife and I are together about once every six weeks. It sucks but I refuse to give up on my marriage.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 1 Points
  • 02:23:02, 17 January

Good man. If I didn't believe there was hope, I would have left a while ago. Some people don't understand that when everything else is good, it's almost impossible to leave.

  • [-]
  • Shaysdays
  • 1 Points
  • 20:14:33, 16 January

Are you still her boyfriend?

Suggesting fun things to do, making time together (and not just sitting watching tv) a priority, going out on 'dates,' telling her she's sexy and adorable and all that?

A lot of guys lose that energy after they get married.- you gotta stoke the coals if you wanna enjoy the fire.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 1 Points
  • 20:21:09, 16 January

No I understand. I have done all of these for years. She's completely unaffected by it. She wouldn't notice it until it was all gone.

I haven't lost my energy but I have lost my will to keep trying.

  • [-]
  • Shaysdays
  • 2 Points
  • 20:25:47, 16 January

Fair enough... best of luck, hopefully your relationship can break out of that rut.

  • [-]
  • elbruce
  • 0 Points
  • 18:29:02, 16 January

She's still my girlfriend.

  • [-]
  • ExcerptMusic
  • 1 Points
  • 18:32:52, 16 January

RIP = your sex life.