My "How-To" Guide for Men on How To Dominate a Woman in Bed ;) (self.sex)
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So inspired from my post in this thread and all the positive responses and comments I received, I've decided put together a beginner's "how-to" for men on how to dominate their women (or vice versa)!
So first off, I'm going to start with what I consider to be general, "gentle" dominating, and then progress to things like "rape"/light BDSM play. I also had some questions on how to do "dirty talk" so I'm gonna add in some suggestions/examples throughout the guide of things you can say (they will be in quotations).
So first things first, PLEASE, PLEASE discuss with your SO before you play, make sure you define your boundaries, and STICK TO THEM. It's always better for her to ask you to take things further later on, than for you to take things too far without her permission and ruin the experience and make her reluctant for her to want to try again! So establish boundaries, come up with a safe word (even if you don't think you need one...fantasies are one thing, actual enactment of them is another, she may not actually enjoy the reality of it once she experiences it so always play safe than be sorry!), and please be respectful of these boundaries. These kinds of activity require a great deal of trust from your SO, so please, please do not violate this trust.
Also, please constantly be aware of yourself and your partner during such sessions. If she appears to hesitate, looks anxious or uncomfortable in her behavior, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Ask her if anything is wrong, MAKE SURE NOTHING IS WRONG. If you have any doubt in your mind, just stop. If she uses the safeword, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Give her a second to relax and decompress. Talk to her about it, get her to communicate what went wrong. Please, please DO NOT continue, even if she says she is okay to get back into it. Just stop for the night. Cuddle instead. And please reassure and ENCOURAGE her to use the safeword.
Another thing I cannot stress enough is that EVERY GIRL IS DIFFERENT, this guide is not an guarantee crowd pleaser, it's from my personal experience, and I'm hoping SOME people will find it helpful/interesting. But this will vary from girl to girl.
Now let's get things started ;)
Push her against the wall/bed/floor/table. Hold down her wrists (above her head, behind her back, by her sides). Lean your weight against her to create the feeling like you are dominating her body. Push your knee between her legs and roughly spread them wide. "Spread wide for me, sweetheart."
Manhandle her. Put your hands all over her as if you can't get enough. Grab her breasts, squeeze her ass. Worship her. "God I love this hot/tight ass of yours". "This hot/tight ass of yours is all mine tonight." "You have the hottest/tightest little body ever." "Your body was made to be fucked by me."
Kiss her like you need it to breathe. Grab her chin and pull her mouth to yours, plunge your tongue in her mouth.
Run your fingers through her hair and pull gently. Tug her hair so that it forces her to look up at you, give her a sexy smirk, and kiss her roughly.
Grind your hips against her, let her feel your arousal pressed against her. "Can you feel how hard you make me?" "Fuck, you make me so hard." "I can't wait to shove this into that sweet pussy of yours." "God I need/want to be inside of you."
Getting more aggressive...
Light scratching: Use your fingernails and scratch along her back or lightly dig your nails into her ass.
Spanking: Slap her ass. Mix it up, don't just spank her a billion times: spank, rub it with the palm of your hand, grip it with your hand, slap it, etc. "I fucking love your tight little ass". "This beautiful ass is all mine...in fact I think I should leave a mark so you'll remember who it belongs to slap".
Biting: Bite her nipples, alternate with licking and swirling your tongue around the nipple.
Orgasm Denial: "Do you want to cum?", force her to say yes, then "I want to hear you beg for it." She begs. "Louder". She begs some more. "Good girl..." Proceed to make her come. Or tease her some more... "No I don't think I'll let you just yet..."
Forced Orgasms: "I want you to cum NOW." "Come for me, baby." Proceed to make her cum after you say these things. After you've made her come, "Have you had enough?...I don't think you have. I want you to come again for me." "I want to feel you soak my fingers/cock/tongue with your delicious juices". "I fucking love making you come, I think I want to do it again..." Make her cum again.
Have sex with clothes on. Ideal if she's wearing a dress/skirt - hike up her dress and fuck her like that. If she has pants, rip them off roughly. Move her panties aside (but don't take them off!) and screw her like that. "Look how wet you're making your panties...what a dirty little slut you are."
Make her pleasure you. Force her on her knees and suck you off. "Get on your knees now." "You're going to suck me until I'm satisfied." "Suck me with that talented little mouth of yours."
"Rape"/Light BDSM - So please, please tread carefully with this section, by "rape" I mean CONSENSUAL non-consent, if at any time she says the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Pay attention to her body language - if it appears like she is not enjoying something or starting to hesitate, STOP IMMEDIATELY, ask her if everything is okay, MAKE SURE THINGS ARE ACTUALLY OKAY. Again, please DO NOT continue if you have any doubts whatsoever. Constantly monitor her and your actions throughout this - remember your boundaries, STICK TO THEM. If you are interested in these activities, find resources and do your research, consult BDSM subreddits. Please, please play safe!!
Gagging: Gag her with a piece of cloth, my personal favorite is when my boyfriend fucks me with my panties on, then takes them off, and shoves them in my mouth. (Because your mouth will be gagged, you must have a "safe gesture" as a sign to stop if things get too much.)
Bondage: Buy rope, tape, handcuffs, four-poster bed restraints, etc. OR improvise and substitute with a scarf or belt. Tie up her wrists behind her back (then force her to suck you off), tie her to the bed frame and tease her. Safety point: NEVER leave someone tied up alone in a room (if you need to leave to go to the bathroom or anything like that, make sure you can hear her if she calls out to you. NEVER LEAVE SOMEONE GAGGED AND TIED UP.).
Degrade her. Call her a dirty little slut/whore/cunt/bitch. "The only thing you're good for is to be fucked/satisfying me." Make her degrade herself "What are you?" "What are you good for?" "You're my slutty little whore. Say it." If she hesitates, punish her with a slap/spank. "Not fast/quick enough. Let's try again. (Repeat the question/your demand)." If you're satisfied, "Good girl" or "That's better." If not satisfied, punish her until she gets it right. Make her call you "Sir" or "Master". Punish her every time she forgets to refer to you as that.
In contrast to degradation (as pointed out by you guys!): Praise her for satisfying you so well and being your "good little girl/slave". Tell her how pleased you are with her behavior and how good she's pleased you. Reward her.
Questions are very welcome!! Please also share your own comments that you've found fun in the bedroom!! Thanks for reading and hope you have lots of sexy times ;)
After care. Many of these sessions can be mentally (not only physically) exhausting and draining. So please take care of your partner after - make sure she/he is okay, ask what things they DID NOT like (as well as things they did like), make sure you did not overstep your boundaries. Hug, kiss, hold, cuddle her/him, tell them you love them, etc, etc.
Edit: Thanks so much for the amazing feedback and responses! Please keep them coming and share your experiences so we can all enjoy ;)
A great comment by signhereplease: Make her taste herself. After you finger her put your finger in her mouth, more fingers to add a bit of choking effect.
From LyssaBrisby who pointed out a GREAT perspective for those who are not into the whole degradation scene but who are still exploring their submissive side: Not all submission is to do with "naughty/bad" stereotypes; in fact I think there's a fully parallel stream that is "noble submission," that is, submission as a vaunted and praised act. Every thing I do to submit is because I am a good wife, not a bad/dirty one.
Getting lots of comments about a medium to heavy BDSM how-to guide. Go to http://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMfaq and http://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity for the experts ;)
Due to popular demand: My "How-To" Guide for Men on How To Dominate a Woman in Bed PART TWO!! ;)
Edit 2: Moving choking and slapping over to Part Two as many of you have brought up that it's not considered LIGHT BDSM - instead have added bondage.
EDIT 3: MOST LIKELY MY LAST GUIDE but here it is: PART THREE: My "How To" Guide for Ladies WHILE Their Man is Dominating Them ;)
573 comments submitted at 19:57:40 on Nov 26, 2012 by sodomize_intolerance