How have your tastes in men changed over time? (self.AskWomen)

{AskWomen}

162 ups - 38 downs = 124 votes

How have your tastes in men changed since your late teen's if you are now in your early 20's? For those of you who are older how have your tastes changed since your early 20's?

Hope that doesn't sound confusing.

219 comments submitted at 15:33:17 on Jan 27, 2014 by Minsky_Moment

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 47 Points
  • 15:36:44, 27 January

I'm 25 and I think the biggest change is I am looking for more stability. It isn't all just about fun and that moment; I still want to be with someone fun and exciting, but I also wonder about things like: Are they responsible with their money? Do they have goals in life? Can I see myself building a life with this person? etc.

  • [-]
  • Blahblahblahinternet
  • 7 Points
  • 17:04:16, 27 January

I want to find you! Not in a weird stalker way. But I share the same understanding as you on this question, and I have difficulty find it in others.

  • [-]
  • Nihiliste
  • 13 Points
  • 17:23:08, 27 January

This works in the opposite direction sometimes too. About a year ago, I was dating a woman who had her own house and car at the age of 25. It wasn't a deciding factor, but it was strangely attractive.

In any case, I've always been after women who want a relationship instead of a fling. I don't even understand how someone can have a fling, really - I can't get worked up about someone I know will be gone in a few days or months.

  • [-]
  • sharpiefairy666
  • 8 Points
  • 17:49:29, 27 January

> I don't even understand how someone can have a fling, really - I can't get worked up about someone I know will be gone in a few days or months.

At this point in my life, the idea of committing to one person for an unknown amount of time is scary and stressful. Doesn't matter how much I think I know someone, I could get blindsided in six months, a year, three years.

I suppose I'm changing a lot right now, so I'm not really sure what I want or who I'll want in a few months... But I still want companionship.

  • [-]
  • Nihiliste
  • 4 Points
  • 17:50:46, 27 January

My philosophy is to look for someone with potential and explore as far as it can go. Over time, you get better at figuring out who you really want to be with.

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 2 Points
  • 17:27:04, 27 January

I'm glad to hear that! I actually have my own house and car lol. Do you find other men you know agree it's attractive or is it more common they find it intimating? I've never really had feed back about it either way.

  • [-]
  • Nihiliste
  • 1 Points
  • 17:32:27, 27 January

Hmm - the topic hasn't come up often enough for me to judge, really, but I do know that some men consider it intimidating when a woman is doing better financially. Personally I don't mind at all, although I would feel slightly odd if I ended up with a rich lawyer or CEO, say.

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 3 Points
  • 17:36:53, 27 January

Oh yeah, I'm definitely not that rich. I guess it's not a big deal because it's a townhouse and I drive a 97 toyota. Much less scary then a CEO lol. Though I am proud to be an owner :)

  • [-]
  • datinginfo
  • 1 Points
  • 20:26:44, 27 January

I also find it extremely attractive, but I think I'm in the minority. Incidentally, when I was 23 I also owned a 97 toyota and a house. :)

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 1 Points
  • 20:28:48, 27 January

Haha did you have a dog too, the trifecta?

  • [-]
  • CremasterReflex
  • 1 Points
  • 21:05:46, 27 January

I'm not sure intimidated is always the greatest word to use in these contexts. I think it's more accurate to say that a successful woman can make a less successful man feel inadequate or even unnecessary. He might think "how can this woman ever respect me?" The actions he might take to avoid these feelings are very similar to expressed intimidation, but stem from a very different place than say, getting accosted by a NFL linebacker in a bar.

  • [-]
  • Nihiliste
  • 1 Points
  • 21:14:59, 27 January

I think that's implied, but good to say.

  • [-]
  • janoknewname
  • 1 Points
  • 18:50:20, 27 January

When you're working 7 days a week for 4 months straight in this super tiny isolated town on an island, you knock the boots to pass the time. Then when the season is over, you go back home to where you came from.

  • [-]
  • Nihiliste
  • 1 Points
  • 18:51:44, 27 January

Well, that is somewhat different. Even then I'd probably just end up tempted by someone else.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 1 Points
  • 18:15:51, 27 January

Yep, same.

  • [-]
  • MariaRoza
  • 1 Points
  • 20:30:05, 27 January

Agree!

  • [-]
  • Whatchanged
  • 1 Points
  • 16:06:22, 27 January

What sort of goals do these have to be? Does he need to have some career goal? Wanting to make mad money? Or can it be something as simple as one day losing a carerra race against his son for the first time?

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 9 Points
  • 16:17:38, 27 January

I'm fairly easy going, you definitely don't have to make mad money... but you need to make a livable wage, and you need to be able to support yourself. Money is the number one reason people break up, which is also why it's important to be responsible with it, know how to save, stay on top of bills, etc.

As far as goals, it can be many things... a career is nice, but any drive to better yourself is really what I want to see in a person. I want someone who is looking to grow, because I don't want to outgrow them.

  • [-]
  • Whatchanged
  • 6 Points
  • 16:22:49, 27 January

Sure thing. Was just wondering, because I have the feeling that current society sets too high,unrealistic and unneccesary goals. You know, nothing wrong with the dude, who took over his dad's family busines and makes a good living out of it and has a happy family life in some small town. You don't need to want to conquer the world to grow as person.

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 6 Points
  • 16:28:35, 27 January

Lol, you just described the man I'm dating now.

I think sometimes men put those kinda of expectations on themselves... It's like how women hold themselves up to a standard of beauty that isn't realistic. There is a base line of attractiveness, if you're unattractive it's a detriment, but most men are content with an average looking woman. It's the same thing with men and money, most of us are happy as long as you reach that base income line, anything on top of that is icing on the cake, not a necessity.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 4 Points
  • 18:19:55, 27 January

This is pretty true. My last boyfriend realized he didn't know what he wanted out of life -- he's 26. But the thing he told me when he was about to break up with me was that he "wanted to be rich" and that the "income disparity between us is too great."

LOL. A winner right there. He's not going to be rich. And fuck it, I don't want a man who's so materialistic that his only life goal is to "be rich." Good luck working 60+ hours a week for the rest of your life. I want a man who wants a family and has time to be there for them, not a man who's so consumed with work that he neglects every other aspect of his life. Life's all about balance.

  • [-]
  • Poopsturrbator
  • 3 Points
  • 17:29:29, 27 January

This made me feel a lot better. You're pretty insightful.

  • [-]
  • TessDevin
  • 1 Points
  • 17:30:34, 27 January

I have my moments ;)

  • [-]
  • goonch_fish
  • 115 Points
  • 15:41:17, 27 January

Well, I'm almost 25. And compared to when I was a bit younger, I've noticed a sharp U-turn in the appearance that I find most attractive.

Even still at 22-23, I was going for more "boyish" men. More slight in stature, clean-shaven face, minimal body hair. Cute. Nearly always a year or two younger than me.

But once I turned 24 (I swear, like, right on my birthday), suddenly I wanted men. Tall, broader-shouldered, scruffy, older. Holding down "real" jobs.

It was moving on from James Deen to Manuel Ferrara.

I'm still not entirely sure why this happened, and so suddenly.

  • [-]
  • Sireggsandbacon
  • 27 Points
  • 18:05:49, 27 January

So for those of us that don't wanna google male porn stars, you went from Joseph Gordon Levitt to Hugh Jackman?

  • [-]
  • goonch_fish
  • 1 Points
  • 19:31:13, 27 January

Oh, no no no. Joseph Gordon-Levitt will always have a place in my ~~pants~~ heart. Maybe a better comparison would be ... Elijah Wood to Hugh Jackman?

  • [-]
  • Dayyve
  • 1 Points
  • 20:16:27, 27 January

Huh. That moment when you realize Hugh Jackman has a better porn name than either James Deen or Manuel Ferrara.

  • [-]
  • Rekhyt
  • 1 Points
  • 20:57:38, 27 January

Elijah Wood is pretty good too.

  • [-]
  • Mobiasstriptease
  • 1 Points
  • 19:28:04, 27 January

So glad that I read your comment, before googling those guys!

  • [-]
  • bbomb29
  • 1 Points
  • 19:32:54, 27 January

Perfect, you nailed it!

  • [-]
  • Slugowski
  • 42 Points
  • 17:08:52, 27 January

When I was a girl, I liked boys. Now that I'm a woman, I like men.

  • [-]
  • charliebeanz
  • 1 Points
  • 20:48:31, 27 January

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

  • [-]
  • WarPhalange
  • 1 Points
  • 21:15:12, 27 January

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid

they got a million toys at Toys R us that I can play with

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid

they got the best for so much less, it'll really flip your lid

From bikes to trains to video games

it's the biggest toy store there is (gee whiz!)

I don't wanna grow up, cause maybe if I did

I couldn't be a Toys R Us kid

more games, more toys, oh boy!

I wanna be a Toys R Us kid

  • [-]
  • darkpouet
  • 15 Points
  • 18:28:54, 27 January

As a young skinny guy without any luck with ladies I'm now feeling hopeless. I guess I just have to become a lumberjack and grow a carpet on my torso.

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 1 Points
  • 18:43:18, 27 January

That's basically the best way to solve this problem

or any problem, really

  • [-]
  • KhemikalReaction
  • 1 Points
  • 20:38:45, 27 January

Nah, don't worry about it. I went backwards. I went from liking much older, uber-masculine guys to liking thinner and more angular guys with boyish looks.

  • [-]
  • 252003
  • 51 Points
  • 16:26:59, 27 January

I am a guy who looks like a rugby player/lumber jack. I am large in all ways, have lots of body hair, muscular and when I was in the army they made me shave twice a day because of my fast growing beard. I am 22 and I have serious problems meeting women who are younger than I am, they don't seem to find me attractive. However women around 24-28 tend to really like me. It seems to be thing amongst women around that age.

  • [-]
  • DerpVonGroove
  • 1 Points
  • 18:59:22, 27 January

Nice humblebrag

  • [-]
  • kalehound
  • 27 Points
  • 17:46:45, 27 January

large in all ways

;)

I'm sorry it was too easy I couldn't help myself!

  • [-]
  • Kutchyx
  • 1 Points
  • 18:43:23, 27 January

He/She means big penis btw.

  • [-]
  • 252003
  • 1 Points
  • 19:02:33, 27 January

Penis size doesn't do much for attraction. By the time someone knows your penis size you are 95% of the way there. I was talking more about feet, hands and head.

  • [-]
  • Nachie
  • 1 Points
  • 20:40:13, 27 January

Unless you're online dating in which case it's entirely possible they'll send you a picture of their penis before even telling you their name.

  • [-]
  • Nillix
  • 1 Points
  • 19:59:36, 27 January

Barring noticeable STDs, I'd hazard even higher than that.

  • [-]
  • alizarincrimson7
  • 3 Points
  • 17:58:46, 27 January

I almost spit out my coffee on my computer thanks to you, haha.

  • [-]
  • clemontina
  • 1 Points
  • 18:49:26, 27 January

As a 22 year old woman: Hello.

  • [-]
  • blkdoutstang
  • 6 Points
  • 18:28:48, 27 January

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm pretty hairy, but I trim, and I am a rugby player. Woman 25-32 love me and it usually hits them pretty hard when I tell them I'm 21 so I generally try to avoid the age question.

  • [-]
  • 252003
  • 1 Points
  • 18:32:18, 27 January

I am 24 I swear, no you can't see my ID, my picture really sucks. I am looking forward to when I am 27.

  • [-]
  • blkdoutstang
  • 1 Points
  • 18:42:57, 27 January

Yea reading through this gives me hope that my future will be very nice.

  • [-]
  • calrebsofgix
  • 1 Points
  • 18:49:01, 27 January

I'm a 27yo tall, fit hairy guy who grows a mean beard. The future is nice.

  • [-]
  • ProstheticBabe
  • 1 Points
  • 19:00:57, 27 January

You sound really attractive :))

  • [-]
  • hernmari
  • 4 Points
  • 17:28:43, 27 January

My god, what a perfect porn reference. Manuel holds a special place in my heart.

  • [-]
  • goonch_fish
  • 1 Points
  • 19:32:12, 27 January

OH, me too. MEEEE TOOOO.

  • [-]
  • MaterialMonkey
  • 1 Points
  • 19:15:46, 27 January

How about the opposite... Well, I'm 32. I used to be attracted to tall, broader-shouldered, scruffy men exclusively from 20-30. Between turning 30 and turning 31, a gradual change happened where I started becoming attracted to short, pot-bellied nerdy "cute" men who wear bow ties and talk like Ira Glass.

I'm still attracted to other types also, but find myself seeing out my new type more often than not. I attribute it to feeling more comfortable in my own skin, and comfortable being a dominant woman, since I'm self-sufficient and have a job/career/whatever.

  • [-]
  • octothorps
  • 5 Points
  • 17:16:46, 27 January

I'm 17 and I can't stand "boyish looks". I especially don't care for guys my age. So, you can say I've never had a boyfriend in high school. Problem is, I feel my age would make me too immature for older guys. :/

  • [-]
  • kezza596
  • 5 Points
  • 17:46:09, 27 January

Same boat, dear. Same boat.

  • [-]
  • Anonnov
  • 2 Points
  • 18:26:13, 27 January

oh yes, me too. I'm hoping with going off to college soon I'll be able to meet someone I'm interested in.

  • [-]
  • Dubsland12
  • 1 Points
  • 19:48:50, 27 January

Older guys don't mind

  • [-]
  • evilyou
  • 1 Points
  • 19:58:25, 27 January

Older guy here, absolutely do not want to date a high school student.

  • [-]
  • JustBitten
  • 1 Points
  • 19:41:47, 27 January

Hahaha, same thing. Around 24. BOOM...suddenly I like big dudes with beards.

  • [-]
  • francodelago
  • 1 Points
  • 21:06:45, 27 January

> suddenly I wanted men. Tall, broader-shouldered, scruffy, older. Holding down "real" jobs.

As opposed to the short, narrow-shouldered, smooth, non-men ?

  • [-]
  • sharpiefairy666
  • 3 Points
  • 17:44:57, 27 January

> But once I turned 24 (I swear, like, right on my birthday)

Literally, this! I swear, it happened overnight. It's the weirdest thing!

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 2 Points
  • 16:32:22, 27 January

I am right there with you. There's probably some hormonal "explanation," but I don't know what it is.

  • [-]
  • Lychwood
  • 15 Points
  • 17:10:25, 27 January

Uneducated guess: late 20's, early 30's is supposedly where women are at their peak in terms of sexual desire. It likely has to do with the body wanting to have children before the peak years are too far gone. In that case, your attraction to rugged, hardy, successful men probably has to do with looking for genes that are more likely to lend some survival value. Scrawny boys starve in the winter and get eaten by wolves. Scruffy men will carve a cave out of the mountain and bring home mammoth steaks. If there's anything I've learned, a lot of sexual selection has to do with giving your genes the best chance of surviving to reproduce again and again. And then there are peacocks, which...stupid.

Probably way off base, but it's the internet. Sue me.

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 32 Points
  • 17:12:46, 27 January

Brb, fucking a scruffy man on top of some mammoth steaks.

  • [-]
  • PedroForeskin
  • 1 Points
  • 20:23:31, 27 January

In a cave that he just carved out of a mountain?

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 1 Points
  • 20:27:29, 27 January

Stop it. You're making me wet.

  • [-]
  • PedroForeskin
  • 1 Points
  • 20:55:38, 27 January

Guess I'll put away the water balloons now.

  • [-]
  • l-a
  • 1 Points
  • 18:39:01, 27 January

Interesting. I'm hoping I go through this same transition, because I seem to be into guys that are younger and boyish (19-20) and I always run into the problem where we want different things (I'm 23). I'm almost always more serious/want more than a younger guy who seems to only want to hook up.

  • [-]
  • juliekthx
  • 1 Points
  • 20:40:03, 27 January

I can totally agree with your James Deen to Manuel Ferrara comment

  • [-]
  • snapkangaroo
  • 61 Points
  • 15:40:42, 27 January

Oh I was shallow as fuck. When I was a teenager I wanted the most popular, most attractive guy. I fell hard for foreign accents and poets suffering from ennui. I thought they were edgy and romantic.

Now the first thing I look for is emotional stability, kindness and intelligence, as well as someone who is ambitious and will push me to follow my own aspirations. I am drawn to much quieter, more thoughtful people, both in friendships and romantic relationships.

I am embarrassed by the kind of guy I used to go for as a teen.

  • [-]
  • existentialredhead
  • 14 Points
  • 17:34:34, 27 January

Ahaha, I remember the days of longing for an angsty poet, especially the scene boys from 2006ish. Surely our deep and meaningful emotions would match up, right? Right??

These days I like my dudes non-brooding, and also without eyeliner and neon zebra stripe hair.

  • [-]
  • snapkangaroo
  • 17 Points
  • 17:44:21, 27 January

Oh yeah, the angsty, broody type was SO HOT. I would be the only person to TRULY understand him! It would be us against the chaos of the world. Til I realized that broody mostly translates to emotionally unavailable, depressing and kind of dull. Also none of the poets I dated were actually any good.

  • [-]
  • Freudy_Kruger
  • 1 Points
  • 21:23:25, 27 January

See, we (us non-brooding guys) were trying to tell you that guy was lame!

  • [-]
  • chapinrandlett
  • 1 Points
  • 19:11:41, 27 January

i like this answer, it makes me more confident in who i am and what i try to do, thanks!

  • [-]
  • clutcht
  • 1 Points
  • 20:52:29, 27 January

There's hope

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 37 Points
  • 17:18:51, 27 January

Smarts is always sexy. But I've broadened my understanding of "smarts."

Conversely, I've narrowed my definition of "nice."

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 1 Points
  • 18:35:38, 27 January

> Conversely, I've narrowed my definition of "nice."

Yep. A guy can be objectively very nice, but in terms of the relationship, not so nice. My family loved my ex because he was "so nice, sweet, and cute." But they didn't know how he was to me. He wasn't abusive, but he wasn't a great communicator and kind of an ass at times.

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 1 Points
  • 18:36:33, 27 January

Right. There's this too.

  • [-]
  • namelessblob
  • 1 Points
  • 19:15:37, 27 January

Elaborate on your understanding of 'smarts' if you would. It's a topic I've been thinking a lot about in my current relationship.

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 1 Points
  • 20:03:57, 27 January

Sure!

I'm a mixture of that age-old quasi-misnomer of "street smarts" and "book smarts." I love being curious about the world, and spend much of my free time reading about any and every topic that interests me. But I grew up on welfare and I can spot a con a mile away and I pinpoint sociopaths with a wicked intuition.

That said, as an adult I have been / I am learning a whole new spectrum of "smarts." Not just in my romantic relationships, but in my friendships as well.

Sometimes people are very bad at expressing their thoughts. In fact, the majority of people are bad at communicating, just in general. On top of that, it seems that most are not especially concerned with making a concentrated effort in bettering that skillset.

That's the number one obstacle I've had in my adult life. And that is where I have found that it's amazing and wonderful to discover how other people think, and find their "smarts."

The downside is you can't force them to communicate, and you can't want for them to communicate better.

Some examples:

I dated a guy who was incredibly talented at the political game of his workplace. It cost him though; the stress of his job was so palatable that he had a running prescription for very heavy duty migraine meds. Personally speaking, no job is worth that amount of stress to me, but his job mattered a great deal to him, and I admired that. It was a set of "smarts" that I did not have. However, I quickly learned that one of the things that suffered in his life was personal relationships. He treated close friends and the people he dated (like myself) as pegs for holes that developed. So after the hole was filled, I was no longer needed, and that any needs that I might have, were not only seen as a burden, but as an unwelcome guest. He lacked emotional "smarts." Despite being one of the most compassionate people I knew (in relation to his type of work) he treated me like garbage while I was going through a rough time.

My current SO is a standup comedian. That's a whole world of "smarts" that I was never aware of before I met him. He and the group of comedians I've gotten to know are amazing writers and performers. But they lack a whole cornucopia of social "smarts." Some of them make rape jokes. Some of them say nigger un-ironically. Many of them are always "on" or "performing" and have zero concept of who they are as people, and it shows on stage. Many of them are not compassionate people and are not interested in anyone who doesn't feed their narcissistic needs.

I think I could go on, but I sound a tad obnoxious at this point, because it is something I spend a good deal thinking about. But if you have any followups, please feel free to ask. Feel free to criticize as well ;]

What about your relationship has you (re)thinking about "smarts?"

  • [-]
  • Tom_Bosley
  • 1 Points
  • 20:55:26, 27 January

Obviously, you can't say who you're current SO is, but is he from boston/the boston comedy scene?

Boston comics are very well known to exhibit the behavior you described (though I wouldn't call it lacking in social smarts except for the people who are "always performing") Examples would be like Jim Norton, Nick Dipaolo, Colin Quinn, Bob Kelly, Rich Vos, Patrice O'neal, etc

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 1 Points
  • 21:21:22, 27 January

No. All "modern" comedians are like this. And they're terrible. They're okay for a local scene, but for the most part I can't stand listening to their acts. Sometimes they improve though. Most of the time not.

And what I'm talking about isn't a "style" it's a lack of respect for people in general.

But to answer your question I'm in the Southeast US.

  • [-]
  • alizarincrimson7
  • 3 Points
  • 18:10:06, 27 January

Interesting! What appears "nice" that you no longer include in that category?

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 7 Points
  • 18:15:54, 27 January

Spending time with one another / actively pursuing each other's interests. I used to think this was a "nice" thing to do. In my experience, it's a method for some guys to use it in a long con.

That is to say, I don't use this to qualify "nice," anymore. It can be nice, but I don't rely on its face value anymore.

Jeez, does that make sense?

  • [-]
  • LuckyShiner
  • 8 Points
  • 18:00:07, 27 January

This is good. When girls say, "I just want a nice guy," I'm always like: how incredibly vague of you.

I would guess "respect" is more the thing than "nice." Since "nice" evokes some sort overly polite, unassuming, ultimately meek type that women are rarely interested in. (In my experience.)

Nice is a vague, boring, airbrushed idea.

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 6 Points
  • 18:18:07, 27 January

I think you're right about most people wanting someone "respectful" but end up cropping it to "nice."

I kind of feel like this is the verge of a Carlin/Dennis Miller rant.

  • [-]
  • GigglyGoose
  • 18 Points
  • 16:44:51, 27 January

When I was 19/20 I was looking for that "cool" guy. I wanted a guy who played in a band or who was apprenticing as a tattoo artist or at a record label. At that age that's the lifestyle I was living. I was young and in the music industry and I wanted to meet my future husband from the band of misfits I was surrounding myself with. I figured I'd meet him at one of the shows I was at every night.

Now I am 25, jaded and realize that the music industry is crap. I have a stable industry job, but hate going to small shows with all of the snakes and sharks that are on the prowl. Tried online dating and found myself a nice lawyer who is stable, clean cut and trustworthy, and we are both growing into our adult lives nicely together.

I think at a certain point your priorities change and you start seeing the world for what it really is. You start getting tired of what you thought was once cool, and start figuring out what you actually admire in others.

  • [-]
  • Freudy_Kruger
  • 1 Points
  • 21:25:35, 27 January

>found myself a nice lawyer who is stable

Stability, to the max... just like his credit limit. . .

  • [-]
  • yearningformore
  • 7 Points
  • 17:17:50, 27 January

When I was younger I was attracted to guys who had dark hair, dark eyes, and were really thin. As soon as I hit 22ish I've become more attracted to guys who have the same colouring I do (blonde, blue eyed) and who look more masculine. I don't know if it's a biological thing, picking partners who have similar colouring but it's really interesting.

  • [-]
  • sockmonkeysaurus
  • 12 Points
  • 17:20:12, 27 January

I used to want someone who made me laugh, and who shared a lot of the same interests as me.

Now, I want someone who loves the same way I do, with all their heart. I want someone that knows how to be there for me completely, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I want someone that puts the same effort into relationships that I do, and someone who looks out for my own best interest with the same intensity that I do theirs. I want someone that follows through on their promises, instead of letting me get my hopes up for nothing. And I want someone who understands that relationships take work, and doesn't treat relationships as disposable rather than put in effort.

I used to want someone who I felt I couldn't live without, and who couldn't live without me. Now I want someone that encourages me to live my life to the fullest, and pushes me through different endeavors. I used to want someone who literally made me their everything. Now I want someone that can be independent, and allows me to be independent.

I used to want someone who would hold me tight and make me feel safe. I used to want someone to kiss away my tears and cuddle me gently. I still want those things. That hasn't changed from the time I was younger until now.

I want someone that puts 100% into the relationship like I do, because I put 100% of myself into everything in my life. I want someone that wants to go on adventures with me and discover new things with me. I want someone that doesn't take all the little things I do to show them I care for granted. I want someone who will surprise me with a home-cooked meal, or surprise me with a back rub after I worked a 12 hour shift. I want someone who tries to look at things through my eyes, because when you care about someone, you try to put yourself into their shoes so you can understand them.

My priorities have changed a lot.

  • [-]
  • clutcht
  • 1 Points
  • 20:57:32, 27 January

I was all those things for my ex and in the end i got destroyed in the break up

  • [-]
  • gunpowdernlead
  • 8 Points
  • 17:30:28, 27 January

I used to like taller unhealthily skinny rockish/punk hipster types. I go for more manly guys now. Broader shoulders, defined features. A little more romantic and personable.

  • [-]
  • shebefierce
  • 18 Points
  • 15:54:37, 27 January

I don't know that it really counts as a matter of "taste," but when I was younger I was willing to put up with a lot of behavior in a relationship that would absolutely be a deal breaker for me now (dishonesty, jealousy, possessiveness, etc.).

Appearance-wise, I hate to use the word, but for lack of a better one at the moment, when I was younger I also used to almost exclusively be attracted to men who I guess fit the whole "hipster" stereotype. Now I find myself attracted to all sorts of men with a wide variety of styles.

  • [-]
  • such-a-mensch
  • 10 Points
  • 18:23:00, 27 January

I'm seeing a lot of different words being used here but if I could sum it up what I'm gathering is:

When a woman is young, she's looking for boys to have fun with these guys are often their own age and exhibit boyish features. AS a woman ages, she desires "stability/ ambition" from a male that shows more "manly" characteristics such as a thicker jaw, facial/body hair and the ability to provide. These men are often older.

The switch seems to happen in the womans mid 20's.

Does that about sum it up?

  • [-]
  • Sea_Bitch
  • 1 Points
  • 20:02:34, 27 January

yup, seems like the case lot of the time. Certainly applies to me and I'm only 21

  • [-]
  • such-a-mensch
  • 1 Points
  • 20:16:39, 27 January

It's interesting that while women change as they age men seem to maintain their preference. At least in my experience and that of the people around me, the guy that like the cute blonde with the athletic body in high school, still turns his head when a cute blond with an athletic body walks by in his 40's.

  • [-]
  • Milazzo
  • 6 Points
  • 17:37:15, 27 January

In my teens and early 20s, I was attracted to introverted, nerdy men who had the tendency of putting me on a pedestal. Now that I am older, I am attracted to men who challenge me on all levels, and am less concerned about whether they are my intellectual equal, nor intimidated by attractive, ambitious men.

  • [-]
  • ButtsexEurope
  • 3 Points
  • 16:51:50, 27 January

When I was younger I preferred more girly looking femme guys. Now I like big burly barrel chested hairy men. This is the opposite of what's supposed to happen on birth control so I don't know what's wrong with me.

  • [-]
  • anotherworld18
  • 1 Points
  • 19:21:07, 27 January

I know birth control can affect the men that a woman goes for but I wasn't aware it made you more likely to go for more feminine men. As someone who's been on birth control for around 7 years, I'm glad to say my taste in men is increasingly leaning towards the manlier side, much as yourself.

  • [-]
  • starbabe0453
  • 5 Points
  • 17:40:57, 27 January

It's weird because sometimes I'm still confused about the change. I'm 26 and at about 23 I started noticing men in their 30s attractive. Even a bit of grey hair was ok and I was shocked at myself because a short while before then I wouldn't have touched it with a 10ft pole. I even remember having the, "wth is wrong with me?" conversation. Now, I think it's the thought of a family and stability that makes those features attractive. Not to mention younger men are still attractive to me, too. I feel like I'm stuck at a crossroads. LOL My boyfriend is younger than me, but takes on very mature features ie. facial hair, body hair and doesn't have a "boyish", if you will, body. Best of both worlds, I guess!

  • [-]
  • MeIisa
  • 4 Points
  • 17:42:53, 27 January

Highschool me wanted an angsty musician. I got one, and it was awful. Adult me appreciates my non-artistic, highly intelligent boyfriend who actually has goals and ambitions.

  • [-]
  • maidenlush
  • 5 Points
  • 17:49:28, 27 January

When I was in my teens right up until my mid-twenties I was all about the "bad boy". I wanted guys with piercings and tattoos that would jump into the mosh pit and kick someone's ass while throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me around. Strangely enough I seemed to be hit on by everything but the bad boys and I was usually the one who pursued them. As I matured I suddenly changed to preferring guys who were smart, geeky, and funny. I don't really care about their looks as much and have been with guys that aren't traditionally attractive to others but they are to me.

  • [-]
  • _LadyLazarus
  • 4 Points
  • 18:00:31, 27 January

I went from skinny, somewhat effeminate, hairless men to very traditional, masculine ones. Give me beards, hairy chests, and lifting heavy things, please.

I have a feeling that I've always been attracted to masculine men, and I either wasn't conscious of it or I was simply lying to myself because feminine men were my only options when I was younger (my social group consisted of a lot of shut-in nerds). Meeting my boyfriend - a tall, burly, bearded Icelandic man who spent 8 years in the military as a combat medic - was a breath of fresh hair for me. I feel like I can be myself around him, and part of that means enjoying my femininity. I did not have that luxury when I was younger, where I spent a lot of time around men who praised me for my masculine hobbies and made fun of me of me for my frivolous, feminine ones (knitting, makeup, keeping a journal). I actively HID my hobbies and interests from some of the guys I dated, and I was miserable for it.

  • [-]
  • alltheprettyclouds
  • 36 Points
  • 16:26:19, 27 January

I used to prefer them fried but as I am older and more health conscious I think grilled is my favorite now! With a nice chianti!

  • [-]
  • tremondo
  • 8 Points
  • 17:31:10, 27 January

but no fava beans???

  • [-]
  • calrebsofgix
  • 1 Points
  • 18:50:30, 27 January

Too many carbs.

  • [-]
  • lurker6412
  • 1 Points
  • 19:16:37, 27 January

chitterring noise

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 8 Points
  • 16:13:23, 27 January

I would like to add a second question to this:

How has your tastes in men in regards to race changed over time? I find that a lot of women my age(mid to early 20s) are very hesitant to date outside their race. Has that changed at all?

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 9 Points
  • 16:36:22, 27 January

The only way in which race has played into my dating is that it sometimes means that someone is in a different socio-economic strata from me (read: we have very different priorities) or they were raised in a culture with values I can't reconcile myself with.

I'm twenty-six.

  • [-]
  • IamsonotFUNNY
  • 1 Points
  • 18:36:37, 27 January

I think that's very true. I find most of the people I've met/are friends with outside of my race value incredibly different things than I do and sometimes live a lifestyle that I don't necessarily want to live myself.

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 1 Points
  • 21:27:24, 27 January

Do you make any such assumptions before even conversing with them? Or is it post interactions?

  • [-]
  • mikab00
  • 6 Points
  • 16:24:25, 27 January

I (almost) always dated interracially, and I grew up in a pretty rural part of East Texas. Most of my dating experience was with Latin guys (I'm white), and my husband's parents were Lebanese and German.

  • [-]
  • Maniacalmama
  • 6 Points
  • 17:53:46, 27 January

I'm 35 and a single mother. When I was younger, I dated almost exclusively white, except for one black kid I dated when I was 15. Now I almost always date outside my race. The white men my age tend to go for women in their twenties who don't have children. The white men that do approach me are typically older than what I want to date and I'm not attracted to them. Black men care less about the fact that I have a child already. And I can date a black man my own age and who is both successful and attractive.

  • [-]
  • GigglyGoose
  • 4 Points
  • 16:50:13, 27 January

Growing up in a rural area that had maybe one Asian family, when I first moved to a major city I was still only really noticing white men as potential partners. After a few years and getting to know men of different race and cultures, I started finding that my level of attraction for different races grew a lot. I'm with a brown guy now.

  • [-]
  • gahabh
  • 1 Points
  • 17:35:41, 27 January

What have you liked about the various different races?

  • [-]
  • GigglyGoose
  • 1 Points
  • 18:32:13, 27 January

Every man is different. You can't really compare/generalize based on race. My boyfriend is Muslim, but he is far from the stereotypical Muslim. I just look for a good man, with good values, a good family and who is trustworthy, independent and reliable.

  • [-]
  • sporkafunk
  • 1 Points
  • 18:49:56, 27 January

I grew up in Hawaii, so being the white minority, I ended up dating outside my race a bit, probably 60/40 split.

Now in the South, things are definitely (still after 11 years) a culture shock for me. Race is socially and socioeconomically segregated. However I have dated a handful of black or biracial people. They were on my "level" though - educated, cultured, well-traveled.

On a weird, related side-note: In the past couple years I've noticed black guys I run into, the park, cashiers at stores, whatever, will often smile at me more than say, white guys. I've noticed two specific times that they seemed to have some sort of recognition. That said, I think I look like someone else, but I don't know who, celebrity or otherwise.

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 19:18:57, 27 January

Just last week I was at a bar and met a guy. We were just getting to know each other that night and he had asked me out on a casual date out to lunch. We were about to exchange numbers when he pulled back and asked "you're okay dating a black guy, though, right?" The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. We were both in the 24-25 range.

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 1 Points
  • 19:19:50, 27 January

I think the fact that he felt the need to ask says something about his normal experiences.

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 19:22:08, 27 January

True. I thought that too. Like "you've been turned down before because of that?" I know he used to live in California, but just moved up to Oregon.

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 1 Points
  • 21:15:35, 27 January

My last girlfriend admitted that she thought I was middle eastern and that was why she responded, would have not responded if she had known I was black.

  • [-]
  • junhour
  • 1 Points
  • 19:23:07, 27 January

Yes! Up until I left teenagedom I could only picture myself with someone of my own race. Now I've slowly been venturing out. :}

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 1 Points
  • 21:26:40, 27 January

Around when did that change occur? seems to be that late 20's early thirties is when it starts to come about.

  • [-]
  • clutcht
  • 1 Points
  • 21:00:02, 27 January

This isn't a racist thing but i have never been attracted to some one who was either black or asian

  • [-]
  • SandiegoJack
  • 1 Points
  • 21:14:20, 27 January

Is it facial features or is it skin tone?

Cause you can be darker with Caucasian features as well as white with darker features. Latinos can look VERY Caucasian in skin tone, however will have a few distinctive characteristics.

Any idea what it is?

  • [-]
  • cait_o
  • 4 Points
  • 17:45:48, 27 January

I'm 25. To be honest, my tastes haven't changed that much. Ten years ago, the hottest men to me were Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom. Now? The hottest man to me is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I've always had a thing for their body types and those kind of faces. I guess the only thing that's really changed is I'm starting to see men in their mid-30s and on as really attractive. Like Michael Fassbender, hot fucking damn, dude. But again, he has that same body type and a nice face.

When I was 15, I suppose I wanted to be swept away by a knight in shining armor. I had all these romantic notions, that I would marry a rich man and live happily ever after. Now I'm married to a good man who is a good father and is my best friend. My idea of happily ever after is much simpler and more easily obtained.

  • [-]
  • HarpySnickersnee
  • 4 Points
  • 17:53:29, 27 January

Obviously as I get older I prefer older men. Watching True Detective the other day and I thought "god damn, Matthew McConaughey looks better now then when he was younger." Granted, hes a special kind of man and not all men age that well. There are probably plenty who were way more attractive in their early 20s. But a man that ages well and is hot into his 40s? Oh boy. Thats where its at.

  • [-]
  • Insane_Drako
  • 3 Points
  • 17:55:25, 27 January

They have, but not completely.

My focus was always, first and foremost, personality and brain matter. While I wasn't too picky on looks, they needed to have a feature that struck me, like their eyes, or their smile. Something.

Nowadays, now aged 27, I find myself liking larger guys with facial hair. By larger, I mean with a bulk that screams out natural strength. I don't like it when it's gym-cut, to me it just speaks unreachable (for me, that is!).

I guess the change was that there's now a type I like, rather than just looking for something nice. Heck, if there's no facial hair, I don't really get attracted much. It feels closer to looking at an artsy picture rather than at an attractive male!

My SO isn't like that, though, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. It just goes to show that, in the end, physical taste only has so much importance. (Oh, but you should see him. He's still such a handsome hunk!)

  • [-]
  • ruta_skadi
  • 4 Points
  • 17:55:32, 27 January

I would say the biggest thing is that now that I'm not a teenager I actually care if a guy has his shit together and is doing something with his life. When I was, say, 16 I would not have cared at all if he was a felon (I mean, not a murderer or rapist) and a high school drop-out. Now I'm 23 and soon-to-graduate grad student and would rather date someone like myself.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 4 Points
  • 18:15:07, 27 January

I'm 25, so I'm not really "old," but I'll bite.

I want a man who knows what he wants out of his life. I'm not old, but I am getting older, and I need someone who has their shit together. My exes were either in school or working overtime at 2 jobs with no prospects. My last ex had a Masters, but he didn't want to leave his hometown, so he was stuck working at a hotel, living with his parents. (He also had a one year internship.) On paper, he had his shit together, but in real life? LOL. No. He couldn't have told me what he wanted out of the next 5 years at 26 years old.

In terms of looks, I definitely am more attracted to the "manly man" look -- broad shoulders, facial hair (well-maintained), that kind of thing. I am not really into a man who has boyish features, either.

I want a man that wants a relationship, not just a fun time. I want a family and marriage one day, and I need to know that he craves or seeks stability. I've dated too many people who don't know what they want out of life -- who have the appearance of stability but not the emotional maturity to match.

  • [-]
  • janoknewname
  • 1 Points
  • 18:41:39, 27 January

First boyfriend age 17: tech enthusiast hardware geek well informed voter.

Second boyfriend age 26: tech enthusiast hardware geek well informed voter and stoner.

  • [-]
  • lindz444
  • 6 Points
  • 17:11:49, 27 January

Early 20s and younger = Jude Law

Mid 20s to now (29) = Clive Owen

  • [-]
  • Tikiman77
  • 5 Points
  • 18:05:55, 27 January

Did this change happen when you watched "Closer"?

  • [-]
  • baby-spice
  • 3 Points
  • 18:01:46, 27 January

My tastes haven't changed and I feel like I'm a stereotypical guy. I liked them to look 18 when I was 18, and I like them to look 18 now that I'm in my mid-20s.

  • [-]
  • Sassafrassister
  • 2 Points
  • 18:02:20, 27 January

Mine really hasn't. I always loved tall, lanky guys with long faces. I definitely have a type. The funnier the better. I like 'class clown' types, for some reason. All my boyfriends and crushes have been thin and tall.

I guess the only different is because the guys I like now are in my age range (24-30), they certainly aren't as boyish as the guys I liked when I was younger (but would've been appropriate then). Like, I wouldn't date the 19 year old version of my high school crush if he materialized in front of me today, because I'm not into 19 years that are that young. But if he had aged well, I'd probably be into the 25 year old version of him.

  • [-]
  • mindab
  • 2 Points
  • 18:05:48, 27 January

Never, actually. Liked intellectual, driven, brown-haired men since I hit puberty. Same age range too. So anybody I liked when I was 16 was way, WAY into the "creepy age-difference" zone. Now I can date them without it being creepy at least, so that's nice.

Edit: For relevance, I'm in my late twenties.

  • [-]
  • ClockworkCreature
  • 2 Points
  • 18:23:21, 27 January

When I was younger I was really into goth/rocker type guys. This was around middle school. High school, I liked nerdy gamer guys and now...I want a guy like Tom Hiddleston lol.

  • [-]
  • Bonnie_1989
  • 1 Points
  • 18:54:56, 27 January

Age 14: black hair, blue eyes, oval face, British accent, nice hands.

Age 19: dark hair, power position, tall, nice eyes, no beard or maybe a bit of a five o'clock shadow, but no more, nice hands.

Age 21: something about chemicals, rather than looks. If I like his 'scent' then I'll be attracted (but nice hair was still a must), proper beards are a nice plus, but not necessary, nice hands and eyes.

Age 24 (now): emotionally smart, intelligent, kind, funny, interesting, nice hands and eyes.

Totally in love with a bald guy with glasses and a beard now, something I never thought I could be attracted to, but if I could, I'd jump his bones all the time. Now I notice everyone who looks a bit like Moby

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 19:26:36, 27 January

I've always liked more sensitive guys. Most guys I've brought home have my family asking if they were gay just because of how effeminate they were. Now I tend to go for more bearded and emotionally unavailable men. I want someone who has emotions and can share them, but not one who will cry at the grocery store if I chide him for getting the wrong brand of cheese. It's more of a fine line than I had imagined.

  • [-]
  • ravenwoodjones
  • 1 Points
  • 19:36:00, 27 January

In my teens, Pierce Brosnan and Hugh Jackman, looks and personality, very attractive and family-oriented(loyal to their wives, good fathers and such). I still find them very attractive, but now that I'm 25, I find guys like Chris Pratt(chubby or fit) really REALLY attractive. Though, I've always found Gregory Peck to be my constant for my taste in men in terms of looks and personality, he was pretty perfect.

I've never liked boyish guys even when I was young.

  • [-]
  • Romola
  • 1 Points
  • 20:04:35, 27 January

I fell in love with Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday. I should probably look into Netflixing some of his other films soon...

  • [-]
  • Fatereads
  • 1 Points
  • 20:48:45, 27 January

Watch Duel in the Sun! I was a wee one when I saw it and grew up fantasizing about him and was heart-broken when he passed away :( He looked amazing even when he was older.

  • [-]
  • ravenwoodjones
  • 1 Points
  • 20:57:39, 27 January

Same here. First saw Roman Holiday when I was about nine and fell in love with him.

And yes, you should!

  • [-]
  • drowgirl
  • 1 Points
  • 20:14:15, 27 January

Less about physical, more about mental.

  • [-]
  • HolyCheezus
  • 1 Points
  • 20:40:03, 27 January

Let's put it this way.

My first serious boyfriend (when I was 17) looked like Justin Bieber (ugh) and my current boyfriend (I'm now 23) looks like Hugh Jackman.

  • [-]
  • searedscallops
  • 3 Points
  • 16:08:51, 27 January

Physically, as I age, I prefer older men, and the characteristics that go along with that - more chub, more body hair.

Internally, I prefer men who have high self awareness. Very few teens have any decent level of self awareness, but through life experiences, some people gain that...and some people don't. As a woman in my late 30's, it's a challenge to weed through people to determine who has that wisdom and who does not.

  • [-]
  • Omariscomingyo
  • 1 Points
  • 17:41:59, 27 January

Could you elaborate what you mean on self awareness?

  • [-]
  • searedscallops
  • 2 Points
  • 18:18:34, 27 January

I'm crap at describing this, so I'll let this article suffice.

  • [-]
  • mikab00
  • 3 Points
  • 16:21:29, 27 January

I'm 32. When I was 18-21, I really went for guys who were way more complicated than required for my speed of intimacy (Kids and ex-wives, mainly). As a result, it was a hard go because I did not have the frame of reference for a lot of their situations. And I was typically 10 years younger or so than my partners, so I think that was significant (considering how young/naive I was)

I got married at 26 to a guy (33) who is super secure in who he is, but is making his own way in the world. So I guess it's a more reasonable variation on being complicated, but I really love my husband and for all the frustrations of trying to make our own way, I don't think I would have it any other way.

  • [-]
  • erly
  • 4 Points
  • 16:41:17, 27 January

My tastes changed pretty dramatically. In HS I went for kind of macho/athletic looking guys with charisma (hot popular guys). Several abusive relationships later, I avoid military guys (and crew cuts and buzz cuts in general), jocks, anyone that could be interpreted as a bro.

After about 24, I really, really started to love scruffy guys with beards (lumberjack snowboarders and surfers). My current SO looked like Jesus when I met him. He cut his hair shorter to get a job, but he's always got a beard to disguise his self-described "peter-pan chin". I like guys who aren't clean cut maybe because I figure they are more laid-back, as I'm very low maintenance. For the most part, it's accurate. That, and scruffy guys are just hot. There is only one thing I remember from The Notebook, and it wasn't the story.

And as others have said, I filter extensively for personality and character than appearance these days. A hot asshole who makes me feel terrible about myself is not worth my time.

  • [-]
  • librarymania
  • 2 Points
  • 18:10:40, 27 January

33 yr old female. No changes since being teen. I've never cared about appearance and always cared about personality and 'chemistry.' I've dated just about every race, height, weight (from 300+ to guys skinnier than me), etc. (For reference I am white and average height/weight [5'6", 120lbs].)

  • [-]
  • lemonylips
  • 2 Points
  • 15:49:17, 27 January

As I mature and grow more secure who I am, I seek partners who are more mature and more secure in who they are. Dating around and learning what's important to me has lead me to seek out those important qualities and values in my partners- like sex-positivity, independent/critical thought, emotional intelligence, etc. I place a lot more emphasis on our ability to grow alongside each other. I place more emphasis on basic relationship skills like communication and conflict resolution skills.

  • [-]
  • Devastating
  • 0 Points
  • 17:31:08, 27 January

Im 25 m and im fairly responsible got my own place and have a great job.

there is one quote in this entire thread that summed it well.

" When I was a girl I like boys, when i became a woman I wanted men.

  • [-]
  • Candalance
  • 2 Points
  • 18:12:38, 27 January

Nope. I'm 24 and it has not changed at all. I've always had a fancy for men who are 30+ years old. I distinctly remembering being annoyed by the fact that it was socially unacceptable for a 14 year old girl to date a guy who was over 30.

  • [-]
  • books_aresexy
  • 1 Points
  • 18:15:55, 27 January

Wow, this is such an awkward question. Or rather, the question is not awkward at all, but the answer is bit so, as well as embarrassing :D

When I was younger, so lets say up til when I was maybe 17 or 18, the most important part about a guy was actually mainly his taste in music. I had (and mostly still have) a very different taste in music than all of my friends, and music was (and still is, but in a very different way) an incredibly large part of my life. I would crush instantly on a guy wearing the right band shirt. Gosh, this is really embarrassing.

Other than that, looks were very important, I couldn't stand tanned/orange dudebro's, with bleached hair who only hung out at the gym sipping on protein shakes. Obviously not, I was so super edgy and cool, and like totally much better and deeper than all of these dudes, and like really had my priorities straight. /s Nope, I really liked guys who either channeled Kurt Cobain, Morrisey, Trent Reznor or Thom Yorke, or metalheads (but to be honest, metalheads are the nicest people out there).

Well, I'm turning 27 this year, and I probably would not date a single one of the guys I dated when I was 17 now. Now I'm really attracted to men who have priorities that are similar to mine, who have a similar general political stance, who have an education or a career that I think is worthwhile. I'm attracted to "good guys", that are helpful and caring, and smile a lot, I really like guys who own pets and are nice to animals, as I see that as a tell tale sign of many things. I'm attracted to straight forward, no-game-playing, emotionally stable men who have their shit together for the most part and are preferably passionate about something in their lives. I'd rather date a plumber or a carpenter than an investment banker, because I am super prejudiced.

Oh, and I'm very partial to beards. Every man can be extremely sexy, if he has a good beard. Beard. Beards. Beeeaaards.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 18:28:47, 27 January

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • startstoblur
  • 1 Points
  • 18:40:08, 27 January

My teens and the better part of the past few years, I've dated the jock, traditionally handsome, and more fit guys (gym-obsessed if you will). As someone who has and always will be active and fit, I wanted someone who could keep up.

Now I care less about what someone looks like (though physical attraction and their level of fitness is still important), but more about how they make me feel and who they are on the inside. Can we laugh together, talk, go on adventures, and just enjoy each other's company?

  • [-]
  • kidkvlt
  • 1 Points
  • 18:40:49, 27 January

General appearance, attitude and personality are the same.

  • [-]
  • LucidVio
  • 1 Points
  • 18:42:40, 27 January

I'm 27 now and my taste has drastically changed.

I used to date long haired/tattooed/rocker/skinny type men in my teens/early twenties.

Now I'm into my late twenties I prefer somewhat cuddlier men, scruffy and better versed on how life works. Manly men so to speak. (My SO basically)

  • [-]
  • outsideflanker
  • 1 Points
  • 18:49:34, 27 January

Ya, most definitely. Probably when I turned 19 it went from what would be now considered hipsters, to a more athletic looking man. I love me some football players, but I have dated Hockey, Basketball, and some Rugby players. I use to not really care about height but now I tend to be attracted to men who at taller than 6'1".

  • [-]
  • aydyl
  • 1 Points
  • 18:53:59, 27 January

My taste in men haven't change, but my stand on it have.

I'll explain. I always wanted a funny, brillant man, with drive and ambition. I'm a bit geeky, so I wanted a man that is too. Younger, I imagined these qualities on cute boy, or I'll bend mysef, thinking that it's not important that my boyfriend have all these qualities.

Now, I know, it is. I don't ask for the moon, I'm searching for someone who completes me and who shares values with me. I value myself enough to stand to this expectation, as much as my boyfriend value himself enough to stand to his expectation .

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 19:31:41, 27 January

I wise man once said "you don't need or want a partner who completes you. You should be a complete person on your own. You want or need a partner who compliments you, like the perfect side dish. You still want to be the main course!"

  • [-]
  • aydyl
  • 1 Points
  • 19:48:45, 27 January

I think I lack english skills to truly understand you...

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 19:54:37, 27 January

Me or OP?

  • [-]
  • aydyl
  • 1 Points
  • 20:30:44, 27 January

You... I'm sorry :S. I'm not sure to understand your proverb...

  • [-]
  • poppyseedtoast
  • 1 Points
  • 20:32:51, 27 January

You don't want to need another person to complete you. You want to be a complete person in your own right. The other person should be an accessory that makes you even better, but you should never be only part way on your own. Any better?

  • [-]
  • aydyl
  • 1 Points
  • 20:37:04, 27 January

Yeah! I'm sorry! I understand better, now, and I think it's right, you should be well with youself before trying to be well with someone else.

  • [-]
  • awkwardpenguin187
  • 1 Points
  • 19:01:43, 27 January

Mine definitely have changed a few times (I'm now 31). When was late teens/early 20's, I liked slightly older men, but I still liked the clean shaven look, think Ben Affleck in Armageddon. In my mid-late 20's, I realized that I was starting to notice younger, "pretty" men. Not anything creepy, but kind of like, I was 27 and drooling over Zac Efron. Once I hit 29 or 30, I changed again, and now I'm attracted to men very close to my age, who are a bit rugged. Oh, and I used to hate hairy men, but now, it doesn't bother me at all.

  • [-]
  • Sztormcia
  • 1 Points
  • 19:15:30, 27 January

I'm a little bit late for this one but I still want to share how my tastes changed:

14-17 At first I consciously looked for someone who pay attention to me, listen to my troubles and read stories I was writing back then. I dreamed about an artist who can share with me my passions. Subconsciously I looked for someone confident and cool. My boyfriends and people who I was finding attractive were mix of both conscious and subconscious needs. My relationships wasn't serious back then, I'd call them "unofficial".

18-19 That was strange moment when I developed strong need of keeping long term relationship, so I grabbed first available buy from above characteristic and stick to him for whole year. After that experience I logically and emotionally understood that confidence and intelligence is nothing without emotional stability. Next person I get attracted to was exactly like that. Eccentric genius in very logical, intellectual way, but with almost no emotional intelligence. I ran away after first date and never again get attracted to analytical intelligence.

20-21 Then I glued myself to wise, experienced man who thought me a lot about emotions, but also was very popular and cool person/ He had it all intelligence, confidence, emotional knowledge/experience, but still he was one of the most miserable people I've seen in my life. When I've realised that it was moment when I started looking for emotional integrity.

22-23 So I found someone stable, and get crazy about him despite being in long term relationship and getting engaged to someone else in the middle of this period. Attraction is funny thing. That person I admired stayed neutral about it and waited 2 years till I get over him and now at least we can be friends.

Funny thing is attraction has very little to do with relationships. I was mostly attracted to blonde buys, but get into relationships only with black haired ones.

  • [-]
  • Tunner33
  • 1 Points
  • 19:47:28, 27 January

When I was younger I definitely liked guys who were moody, dark, artistic, emotional, or very passionate. That's how I can best describe them. I thought they were more interesting and I saw other guys that were maybe more conservative or down to earth as boring.

Now that I'm in my 20's I realize how wonderful it is to be with someone who is consistently happy or positive. It's very attractive and shows maturity, in my opinion.

  • [-]
  • Shatana_
  • 1 Points
  • 19:49:29, 27 January

I'm 38.

In my late teens and early 20ies I loved mysterious and naughty.

Now? "No drama, please". And I'm looking for someone who knows how to be happy, content and friendly with the world.

  • [-]
  • truth_hertz
  • 1 Points
  • 20:06:21, 27 January

When I was a young teenager, all I cared about was if my friends thought he was attractive enough for me.

When I was an older teenager, I listened less to my friends and chose my own guys, but I was still driven by looks and appearance.

When in my younger 20s, I began to be more cognizant of other qualities before noticing the looks of a potential boyfriend. A man with humor and intelligence could hold my interest for far longer than a man with just good looks.

When I was almost 26 I met an older man through friends who I wasn't immediately attracted to physically (he was much older than me, balding, paunchy, not my usual "type" at all, which had been mostly athletic guys with longish hair and fit, but not overly-muscled bodies) but I was drawn to him because of his confidence, hilarious jokes, courtesy without too much eagerness that would have signaled desperation, and there was just a way about him that was intriguing.

After a while of casual dating I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Objectively, I know that he's not the most handsome man on the planet, but in my eyes he is the most attractive man I know. We got married about a year and a half ago.

  • [-]
  • MariaRoza
  • 1 Points
  • 20:22:22, 27 January

From blonde skater boys when I was a teen, to now -in my mid 20's- dark haired, bearded men!

  • [-]
  • alphonse23
  • 1 Points
  • 20:23:06, 27 January

I'm 27 y/o male, but very boyish looking. I still look like a teenager. Though, I'm "holding down a real job" and supporting myself. Does this mean I'm doomed when it comes to older woman, and should I be chasing after <24 year, who don't care that I have a solid job -- despite that it may be boring (to some).

Edit: I can kinda understand where some of the women are coming from in this thread. Now whenever I look at a guy with a clean shaven face I just think, "You need to look like a man! God damn it!". I tried to grow a beard this past November, but it wasn't working -- too spotty -- not respectable enough. I was very disappointed.

  • [-]
  • donsky13
  • 1 Points
  • 20:28:55, 27 January

As a 23 year old guy reading this who has been shunned early in his life because of what I saw as attractive to me, I find a sense of gratification reading this thread.

It's nice to know that the things I find important then just actually appeal to a totally different demographic of women who are NOT my age at the time.

I just grew up too fast I guess...the world isn't everything to some of us.

  • [-]
  • ruvb00m
  • 1 Points
  • 20:31:14, 27 January

In my late teens I didn't want to date anyone older than 25, and now I'd be open to dating anyone up to 35. The older, the better. For example, where I once was attracted to Tristan in Tristan & Isolde, I am now digging Lord Mark instead. ;o

One thing has remained the same, and that is I wouldn't date anyone my own age.

  • [-]
  • kbrawls
  • 1 Points
  • 20:37:06, 27 January

Just like most of the women here, I went from liking some tall, scrawny musicians to going for big, strong manly types.

Good change.

  • [-]
  • literarydrunkard
  • 1 Points
  • 21:16:05, 27 January

I still go for the somewhat anemic, arty looking guys (though I've developed a new appreciation for the scrawnier lumberjack types) but I've realized my tastes HAVE changed. Where I used to be fine with nihilistic guys, or apathetic men, I really want someone who passion and drive. You can still be a goofball (please be!) but I don't want to mother anyone, or be their sole source of emotional stability.

Maybe it's my last relationship, or nearing 26, or maybe it's because I'm realizing I deserve someone who has their shit together (to compare, full time grad school, full time job-- my shit's tight).

  • [-]
  • madamgeek
  • 1 Points
  • 21:18:13, 27 January

i'm in my fifth decade now, but some years back i figured out that you don't necessarily want what's good for you. good looks, wealth, intelligence; lots of men have good qualities, but if you don't enjoy their company and/or you don't feel good about yourself when you're with them then none of that shit matters. those two things first.

  • [-]
  • ohsnapattack
  • 1 Points
  • 21:18:24, 27 January

When I was in high school, (early 20s now) I really wanted, for lack of better description, Edward Cullen (gag). You know, the mysterious, rich guy who has a massive crush on you and when he finally gets you refuses to let you go. Who takes care of all your problems and makes them disappear. But I found a guy like that and it was nothing like I thought it would be. He was controlling, sad, jealous, mean and oppressive. Since leaving that relationship and having time to think about what I want afterwards, I realized what I really want from a man. I still want a guy who would do anything for me. But, I want a dependable but independent, smart, respectful, interesting guy. Who respects me as a person and my independence. He doesn't want to control me or make me his, he knows I am my own person. A person who he loves, respects, and can inspire him. But my tastes in men have stayed the same. I still love tall, nerdy guys with beards. Always have and always will.

  • [-]
  • Autumn89
  • 1 Points
  • 21:22:33, 27 January

Teens: I put up with dating assholes longer.

20's: I'm 24. Like being treated right and know I deserve to be treated right.

  • [-]
  • cyranothe2nd
  • 1 Points
  • 21:23:24, 27 January

When I was younger I dated a lot of not-so-great people because I was convinced I could 'save' them from whatever--their addictions, their flaws, their circumstances. I learned the hard way that no, I could not.

  • [-]
  • tom641
  • 1 Points
  • 17:28:02, 27 January

Before I was all about the american beef, but now I'm into some japanese, maybe with some A1, chopped and seared to perfection.

  • [-]
  • foodcooker
  • 3 Points
  • 17:58:28, 27 January

&#3232;_&#3232;

  • [-]
  • mintyJulips
  • 2 Points
  • 16:12:38, 27 January

I'm 25 and, my physical 'type' has changed quite a bit.

In my teens, I was all about the tanned, sandy haired, 'pretty' faced, skinny guys. Early twenties, I still went for slimmer guys closer to my height with minimal body hair, and I still preferred blonds.

Somewhere between the ages of 24-25, I started preferring darker hair, bigger stature, more traditionally masculine features, and decent amounts of of facial and body hair. I still prefer slimmer guys, but now I like more muscle tone and broader shoulders.

Personality wise, I now put more weight on self-esteem, emotional stability and not being jealous or possessive. I also look for someone who can hold down a job and has a general sense of responsibility and ambition about the course of his life.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 1 Points
  • 18:41:10, 27 January

It's interesting how many women have said they prefer this type of man in their mid/late twenties. I said the same, and going through the posts, I'm seeing that quite a lot. Maybe it's a thing. But yes, body hair, please! I've always been attracted to brunettes, so that hasn't changed a bit, but my preference for body type has. (Basically what you wrote.)

  • [-]
  • mintyJulips
  • 1 Points
  • 18:54:22, 27 January

It's surprised me also to go through these posts and to see how common that preference change is.

And yeah, when I was younger, body hair actually squicked me out quite a bit, but now it's a must. Funny how that changes.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 1 Points
  • 18:58:41, 27 January

I know! It was literally like a light switch went off in my brain. I went from just being "okay" with it to really finding it sexy, and my last boyfriend practically had a sweater, he was so hairy. After that, now I find guys without body hair to be weird looking. I don't know if I'd want a guy that is quite that hairy again, but it depends. (I of course loved it at the time because it was him.) Chest hair is basically a requirement now, though! "Bald" guys kind of freak me out.

  • [-]
  • mintyJulips
  • 1 Points
  • 19:10:31, 27 January

> I went from just being "okay" with it to really finding it sexy

Exactly! I went from grossed out to apathetic acceptance to 'can I please run my fingers through your magnificently sexy chest hair?'

  • [-]
  • milehighpeach
  • 1 Points
  • 17:05:49, 27 January

This sounds like biology to me. You want a manly protector, maybe?

  • [-]
  • ikc_
  • 1 Points
  • 16:39:53, 27 January

Before in my teens I liked douchebag hockey players. The "popular" guys who were super immature, played every girl and only cared about partying and their sports. Now that I'm turning 23 I've had my boyfriend for a while and he's 100% different. He's smart, funny, has goals, is talkative, I can trust him with anything and he's the sweetest guy I know. I honestly went for these tools before hand because they were the only guys that people were interested in in high school. Now that I'm older I am 100% for the nerds and just don't care what others think! I can be myself with him and its the best feeling ever!

  • [-]
  • dssssd
  • 1 Points
  • 20:01:48, 27 January

I would die a little bit if a girl I was with talked about me this way

  • [-]
  • littlelibertine
  • 1 Points
  • 16:48:37, 27 January

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I looked for attractive men who had similar tastes that I got along with.

I'm twenty-six now, and way less interested in how someone looks beyond the bare minimum necessary for attraction, and more interested in whether or not someone's emotionally stable, financially stable, fun to be with, intellectually stimulating, is able and willing to communicate about difficult things, respects me, is interested in the same kind(s) of relationships I'm interested in, wants a similar future, is respectful and close to his/her family, and a whole host of other things that have everything to do with whether or not a truly long-term relationship would be possible.

I think what I learned, and it took a while, is that attraction, passion, and even love aren't enough to make a relationship work.

  • [-]
  • milehighpeach
  • 3 Points
  • 17:08:07, 27 January

This is why I think people should be at least 30 when they get married. Because alllll of those values and stuff can change during those tumultuous twenties when you're figuring out who you really are.

  • [-]
  • MidWestJoke
  • 1 Points
  • 17:06:30, 27 January

I've never really had a taste for specific guys. I've almost always gone for huge, sexy smiles and nice eyes. I have dated mostly tall lanky guys with a few average bad boys thrown in. Honestly, before my current relationship, I tended to date guys who were no good for me or to me. Majority of my exs cheated on my, some used me for money/car, and one used my parents. I think I had 1 guy from the time I was 16 until now (not including my current SO who is absolutely amazing to me) that was actually a nice guy.

  • [-]
  • wivella
  • 2 Points
  • 17:50:51, 27 January

SURPRISE! - people prefer other people with similar goals/values and both of those change as people grow older. Who would've thought?