From answering questions to asking one of my own. Need some advice here, men. (self.AskMen)
13 ups - 5 downs = 8 votes
I know this looks long as fuck but I'm courteous enough to have written a tldr version as well as a detailed version. Please don't run away because you see 50 paragraphs below you.
Most of you probably see me frequenting this sub answering questions, more often than not relationship based questions. Now /r/askmen I turn to you for advice and despite my public disdain for relationship topics I know and trust this community more than the other subs - so here goes. I'll post a detailed version below but just as a general courtesy I will also post a brief description of my situation.
The brief version: I've been talking to a woman for about a week and a half and we click. We share views on relationships, she's hot and she's sexually attracted to me. She never initiates conversation, but when I do she's always more than willing to talk. We've established we want to meet for a date and she has seemed enthusiastic about it, however the last text I sent she didn't reply to, it was asking what she'd like to do on this date. It's been 2 days now. Do I give up at this point? Do I take it as her losing interest or something? Do I text her again? If you want more context please read below.
The long..ish version:
I posted a thread in /r/askwomen but I'll be damned, it was deleted for "seeking relationship advice". The context of the thread was asking why women seem to refuse to text first. My question is what to do in this situation and I know the general attitude towards relationship posts here so believe me I wouldn't be asking if I had an idea of what to do.
I've been talking back and forth with multiple women lately thanks to the recently installed app, Tinder. I figured I'd give it a try, why not? It's based on attraction to each other (for the most part) but on a very simple scale - I figured it was worth a try and to my surprise I got multiple matches. I of course initiated conversations with the ones I was interested in pursuing and I quickly found one girl I had clicked with. The rest didn't seem to click well with me, we either had different views on relationships, they broke some of my deal breakers, or they just couldn't hold a conversation to save their life. It happens, right?
As I always do when talking to a potential romantic interest I began getting to know this girl, and figuring out the important things. What she wants out of a relationship, what kind of relationship she wants, and most important finding out if any of my deal breakers have been met so I can nope the fuck out if need be. So far it's been perfect, we share very similar ideals and both want the same thing. She's an exact match for me. We've texted back and forth for 2 weeks now and she's totally into it. She talks about an ideal date with me wanting to just stay in and have a couple drinks, some dinner, and cuddle up on the couch which is amazing to me because she isn't one of those women who expect expensive dinners and such (I've read some horror stories on here). She comes off as just genuinely wanting to spend time with me. I'll cut to the reason I'm posting, and the question I have for you.
2 days ago we were just talking as we normally do, it has become natural for us to text every day albeit not from sunrise to sunset. We were having a normal conversation, just shooting the shit and flirting some around 1130 pm. It was going well but she didn't reply to something I had said. It was just a general statement, nothing that would make her go "ick, this Arcturus guy is creepy not talking to him anymore" or anything along those lines. She didn't reply, and I figured maybe she just fell asleep which is cool. I gave it ~10 minutes and decided to shoot her one more text asking what she'd like to do on this date we were talking about earlier that night. As I mentioned she is completely fine with just staying in and spending quality time with me, however I just wanted to let her know I was open to taking her out as well so I said something along the lines of "When we get together did you still want to stay in, or possibly go out?" - harmless, right? Well she didn't reply. I chalked it up to her just falling asleep and expected a reply in the morning. Well morning turned to afternoon which turned into evening which turned into 2 full days later. No reply.
I'm always initiating texts with her, some of the women at AW mentioned they don't like coming off as clingy so they just don't do it. That's fine and dandy but the way things were left she just stopped talking to me and having asked her a question the ball is in her court now, correct? I don't want to be the one always talking first. She flat out ignored my text and I don't know if I should pursue this now or leave it be. I feel like I should be hopeful for at least another day or two and if she doesn't say anything back I should just move on. Alternatively I could shoot her a quick, harmless message asking how she's doing and if she's still interested in going out, right? Not pushing any boundaries or anything there?
I know she is a busy girl and I could justify her not replying with that, but part of me feels like she just instantly lost interest or something, and I mean split second. One second she's flirting with me, we're having a great conversation and next thing I know nothing, radio silence. I'm genuinely confused.
Fuck it's a lot more difficult asking these things than it is taking the time to answer problems here.
If you read the long version, you're a gentleman and I applaud you. +1 respect and I hope to get some idea as to what I should do. I think I've covered all the details, and I know it's long, and I know I hate reading long posts but I feel context is vital here. Thank you men
58 comments submitted at 11:27:49 on Feb 5, 2014 by Arcturus_