My fiancé [25f] dumped me [26M] on Tuesday. Today she tells me she wants the apartment to herself tomorrow for her Valentine’s date. (self.relationships)

{relationships}

136 ups - 22 downs = 114 votes

I’ll try to keep this short because I’m so stunned I think I’ve stopped being able to process things. I’ve [26M] been with my fiancé [25F] for 4 years. We’ve been engaged since last year and actively planning the wedding.

Last month, we moved to a new city across the country because my fiancé got an amazing job offer. I wasn’t happy about it since I had to quit my job and all our family and friends were in the city we left. I was kind of a jerk during the moving process, but I’ve come around since getting here.

My fiancé kept talking about this guy [late 20s maybe?] she worked with at her new job, and it made it me uneasy. I went to a few after-work events where he showed up, and he seemed like a total asshole. Very full of himself artistic type. I didn’t like the way he interacted with my fiancé and we would occasionally fight about it.

Tuesday night she got home really late, sat me down and broke up with me. She said she felt an immediate bond with this coworker that’s stronger than anything she’s ever felt before. This from the woman who just a few months ago I held in my arms while watching the stars as she told me she’s never felt more at peace than when she’s beside me. I laid awake on the couch all night feeling like I was continually being punched in the stomach.

I didn’t fall asleep until 3:00pm yesterday, and stayed asleep until this morning when she woke me up. Basically, she’s having this asshole over for valentines day and demanded she get the apartment to herself.

Between the move, all the deposits we had been putting for wedding stuff, and not having a job since we moved out here, I have literally no money for a hotel or anything else. We got into a big fight because I called her out and said she knew I had nowhere else to go. She said that’s not her problem, she’s done solving my problems for me (what???!) and that I needed to fix this one on my own.

I guess his roommate is having a date over so my fiancé offered our place for her date with the asshole. She says this is happening no matter what I say.

So yeah. What the hell am I supposed to do?

TL;DR: After uprooting me from my home town a month ago, my fiancé dumped me on Tuesday, and is now demanding the apartment to herself tomorrow for a date with this asshole artist from her new job. I have no money to do anything else.

Edit: I appreciate everyone telling me I should stand my ground. I told my fiance I wouldn't leave the apartment, but I don't think it's a threat I can carry through with. I will be emotionally devastated if I have to watch the woman I love and care for more than anyone else date someone right in front of me in my own home. Other suggestions would be appreciated.

192 comments submitted at 16:30:27 on Feb 13, 2014 by brokenhearted118

  • [-]
  • theyretheretheir3
  • 164 Points
  • 16:39:54, 13 February

Oh no. No no no no. Hell no. You're going to park your ass on the couch tomorrow and you are going to refuse to move come hell or high water.

Do. Not. Leave. What a heinous move on her part.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 50 Points
  • 16:43:11, 13 February

I basically told her I would refuse to move tomorrow, but she said this man was coming over no matter what.

  • [-]
  • theyretheretheir3
  • 88 Points
  • 16:45:17, 13 February

Well then... they're gonna have to deal with having a romantic date with another dude sitting on the couch then, aren't they?

  • [-]
  • JoeDawson8
  • 23 Points
  • 16:51:37, 13 February

shit if she did that, who's to say they won't have loud sex in HIS BED

  • [-]
  • theyretheretheir3
  • 19 Points
  • 16:57:35, 13 February

I guess I'd assume that any human being with a semblance of a conscience wouldn't do that. You're right, though, as in this situation, the person in question seems to have no scruples whatsoever.

  • [-]
  • Treasure_hand
  • 3 Points
  • 16:59:57, 13 February

He does, his names on the lease, tell dude to leave or your callin the police.

  • [-]
  • JoeDawson8
  • 6 Points
  • 17:05:20, 13 February

he said his name wasnt on the lease because he had no job and poor credit. She really fucked him 6 ways from sunday. She can have him EVICTED and he is homeless since he has no job and no way to fly home.

  • [-]
  • akharon
  • 1 Points
  • 18:00:51, 13 February

Nah, most states have 20 days or so to evict if you've been staying there at least a month. It's why gypsies love hotels that don't kick them out after 30 days, now they're squatters!

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 22 Points
  • 16:53:10, 13 February

I can't emotionally handle seeing her date another man right in front of me in our home. I understand I would fucking up their night, but I think I'd shatter on the spot seeing them together

  • [-]
  • ladybetty
  • 61 Points
  • 17:08:08, 13 February

Just be in the same room as them. Every time she tries to talk with him, chuckle/snicker, make crude comments: 'heh, yeah, she said that to me too', kid of stuff. Ruin that date!

  • [-]
  • ihaveafajita
  • 33 Points
  • 17:15:37, 13 February

Oh god this is so immature but so brilliant, if OP can handle it.

  • [-]
  • Shaman_Bond
  • 11 Points
  • 17:36:13, 13 February

I wish we could all just give our emotional strength to OP like a kind of Spirit Bomb thing so that he can fuck up that bitch's day.

  • [-]
  • neobyte999
  • 2 Points
  • 17:52:55, 13 February

i absolutely love this

  • [-]
  • theyretheretheir3
  • 12 Points
  • 16:56:18, 13 February

I was going to mention that...I understand. I'm hoping that your blunt refusal to move will deter her from bringing him back to the place at all.

I see below that you're not on the lease...that may fuck things up, in all actuality, because she technically could have you forcibly removed from the property since you're not on the lease. Given her behavior already, I'm not sure I can say that I don't think she'd stoop to that level. Can you move back home? Sounds like you had a good life there; it may be nice to get back to the support of friends and family.

  • [-]
  • belladonnadiorama
  • 1 Points
  • 18:00:52, 13 February

> because she technically could have you forcibly removed from the property since you're not on the lease

Not if he's established residency. She would need a court order to have him removed.

Source: I watch a lot of Cops, and it's also the law in many states.

  • [-]
  • bcRIPster
  • 10 Points
  • 17:13:58, 13 February

Buck up. It's probably only going to get worse. I would definitely stay home for this and go 100% Gandhi on their ass.

Also, do a quick check as well for recording laws in your local and if they allow One-Party recording, then put an iPod or something into Memo recording mode (this will record 4-6 hours of audio) to capture any confrontation so you can prove you didn't respond to their shit.

But as I said elsewhere. Put out the 911 back home for help. I would also, definitely call her parents if you have any kind of relationship with them and tell them today what she is doing. Don't be confrontational with them. Just express your dismay and confusion and reach out to them for advice. You can't screw around and be frozen on this.

  • [-]
  • nekonamida
  • 7 Points
  • 17:13:35, 13 February

I don't think showing her how incredibly insensitive and hurtful she's being is necessarily a bad thing. A date doesn't get much more awkward than your partner's recent exfiancee sobbing next to you.

  • [-]
  • HoodieGalore
  • 4 Points
  • 17:24:38, 13 February

Get pissed. There's nothing wrong with you; you (afaik) did nothing to deserve this; fuck her and her date. Stay there and be an obnoxious prick, and make her call the cops. Leave before they show. Ruin her awesome fucking night.

Or don't. I'm a bit broken hearted too right now, and all I want is to fuck someone up. But still...you were done wrong, man. Totally.

  • [-]
  • KindredStranger
  • 3 Points
  • 17:45:51, 13 February

You should invite some friends over for emotional support and extra distraction.

  • [-]
  • AyeAyeCaptain
  • 2 Points
  • 17:42:58, 13 February

I get the "stick it to her" mentality that everyone is suggesting and agree with the point; but I'd be in your boat and would probably go insane witnessing my loved one hook up with someone so soon.

She seems very callous, but maybe she will compromise. Call her out on her bullshit and ask her to give something. Two hours and nothing more while you're out at the movies, eating dinner or walking around.

So your name isn't on the lease, I'm assuming you contribute to the bills still. Is she willing to pay you back so you can leave? What about selling stuff (like the ring) to get you back home? While that stuff won't happen immediately, something to think about for the coming weeks.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 1 Points
  • 17:54:53, 13 February

These are good suggestions, thanks

  • [-]
  • PolishHammerMK
  • 1 Points
  • 17:41:09, 13 February

Turn up your stereo really loud with obnoxious music

  • [-]
  • neobyte999
  • 1 Points
  • 17:52:00, 13 February

dude this is your chance. just be a robot, not violent, just watch some netflix as loud as possible in the living room. make as much annoying noise as possible. some random guy she just met will not be able to handle another man in the house, no matter how much of an ass he is, its your castle. make it yours. if your name is on the lease, you have no legal obligation to leave. this woman sounds flakey as hell. if this is too much for you, maybe the reddit community can get together and find a place for you to crash in the local area. i support either decision you make, but if i were you. i'd plant a horse stance in the fucking living room and not budge an inch while chanting "alrighty then" monk style, like ace ventura 2

  • [-]
  • Valhallaman66
  • 2 Points
  • 17:52:02, 13 February

Get tindr. Find a girl. Have yourself a Valentines Day date.

Better yet, women of Reddit who live in this man's city, GO TO HIM for the moral support and to fuck up his fiance's plans.

  • [-]
  • Ehks
  • 2 Points
  • 17:57:10, 13 February

If it's still your bed, you should be able to sleep there too. If anything he should be the one sleeping on your couch! No, have him on the floor. Tell him it's still your home. He is a guest, he shouldn't be the one making you uncomfortable.

  • [-]
  • belladonnadiorama
  • 1 Points
  • 17:59:40, 13 February

No. You don't fucking fall apart at this. You stay there, you do your thing and you face the both of them down. Put on some really shitty reality show on the TV (pick one, they're always on), get some music going, and browse Reddit all at the same time.

And all the while remind the guy that he could be the next one on the couch because she's a lying cheating swamp rat.

  • [-]
  • rapidthighmovement
  • 0 Points
  • 17:31:37, 13 February

Get drunk before. That'll make it real special and ease the pain.

  • [-]
  • Plackard
  • 78 Points
  • 16:55:08, 13 February

You need to reveal your city so some redditors can come to the rescue. Throw a party Friday night at the apartment with new friends, all of which know what a fucking bitch your ex is.

  • [-]
  • macimom
  • 18 Points
  • 17:16:43, 13 February

I think this is a great idea-I'm sure people would love to help you out

  • [-]
  • mortfrog
  • 8 Points
  • 17:25:22, 13 February

Do This!

  • [-]
  • Docaroo
  • 8 Points
  • 17:40:44, 13 February

Please up vote this...OP absolutely do this! Let this be a reddit rescue bro story!

  • [-]
  • Frostafarian
  • 4 Points
  • 17:47:34, 13 February

Great idea! Or post an ad on craigslist. I'm sure there are plenty of single warriors that would be happy to come throw a party with you and spite your ex. You need backup dude.

  • [-]
  • fruitball4u
  • 19 Points
  • 16:55:44, 13 February

What a cunty move on her part, seriously. Seems like tomorrow is the perfect time to invite a bunch of people over. The more obnoxious, the better. Reddit meetup?

Sometimes you've got to fight fire with fire. Think of the movie "The Breakup". Don't go down without making an effort to come out on top!

  • [-]
  • mentalfork
  • 17 Points
  • 17:14:38, 13 February

1) Your ex is a dumbass. She confused infatuation with actual love and companionship and will eventually reap what she sows.

and

2) She's being needlessly cruel. I cannot fathom doing that to a human being let alone someone that shared 4 years of their life with me, even if it is over. Is there any reason why she would be super resentful towards you?

Either way, don't go anywhere. Beer, couch, TV.

The reality is, no one wants to spend their Valentine's day with their date's ex. Even if she's willing to do this as some kind of power battle, I doubt her date is thrilled about the idea.

  • [-]
  • nekonamida
  • 14 Points
  • 17:19:18, 13 February

>Even if she's willing to do this as some kind of power battle, I doubt her date is thrilled about the idea.

I get the feeling he has no idea what's in store for him. I can't imagine a person agreeing to having a date with someone's exfiancee that they broke up with three days ago. I bet he's going to bail on her when he finds out.

  • [-]
  • NellyFatFingers
  • 4 Points
  • 17:41:47, 13 February

or he doesn't care, and is just using her, in which case she still gets what she deserves.

  • [-]
  • cheesezombie
  • 6 Points
  • 17:12:37, 13 February

She's saying that to move you and get you to capitulate. Do you have any friends in the area you could invite over?

I know it's hard, but she's walking all over you right now. You uprooted your life and gave up a lot for her - she dumps you and wants to kick you out to have her new guy over.

Take a deep breath. Realize this is more than just her having a guy over - it's her clear lack of respect for you. Stand up for yourself and no, it won't be easy, it will hurt, but you'll look back and be glad you did.

Tell her you absolutely are not leaving for the night and will be eating dinner, watching shows, and maybe having a friend over.

It's Valentine's Day. If she wants to have a date, she can do so outside of your place.

  • [-]
  • arnyrimmer
  • 8 Points
  • 17:31:38, 13 February

Can't this jerk afford to take her out??

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 6 Points
  • 17:45:46, 13 February

I asked why it had to be here. His roommate is using his place for a date. I asked why it couldn't be at a restaurant or a hotel or anywhere else and then all she could do was talk about the ways I failed her in our relationship and that this time she wasn't going to fix things for me

  • [-]
  • sbwv09
  • 3 Points
  • 17:57:01, 13 February

She is doing this intentionally. She has something to prove...to herself, to you, to the other guy, not sure, but it's about more than this date. I had to live with my ex for months due to being in a situation similar to yours. I started seeing other people but always went out. That's what any decent person would do.

Don't cave. Have a party, as others have suggested. She doesn't deserve any satisfaction from this.

  • [-]
  • ChlkDstTtr
  • 4 Points
  • 17:35:31, 13 February

Is your name on the lease? If so you can refuse him entry into the apartment. Don't get physical because otherwise if the cops are called you'll probably be the one removed because of her. If a scene is made and he makes it into the apartment then call the cops saying an unwanted person is in your apartment.

Basically make it a living hell for both of them.

  • [-]
  • TwistedxRainbow
  • 1 Points
  • 17:36:01, 13 February

So make their date miserable! For example,they are watching a movie? Turn on the blender and make a smoothie or start vacuuming.

  • [-]
  • DeadPinkPanther
  • 1 Points
  • 17:51:44, 13 February

Get yourself a date. A hooker if you can't find a date.

  • [-]
  • tedmosby99
  • 1 Points
  • 17:56:25, 13 February

Invite some single friends, male or female and have drinks at your place so your ex will be the one who will be out of place.

And btw, fiancée with an e at the end since she is female.

  • [-]
  • OffendedBoner
  • 1 Points
  • 17:21:58, 13 February

Please video record this as a live feed. I want to watch this go down so bad.

I will have my popcorn ready. You could probably make a bunch of money posting it on youtube, and then use that money as fuck you money to get your own place down the road.

  • [-]
  • lovesprunghate
  • 1 Points
  • 17:39:28, 13 February

This.

Make it incredibly awkward for them. Throw some porn on the tv, set out a bunch of snacks for yourself, and kick back and relax. Make sure to bother them at any given moment. They go to the kitchen? Follow them and start asking if they want a beer, or maybe some chips and dip. In the bedroom? You bet your ass it's the perfect time to reorganize some drawers!

  • [-]
  • MrBleah
  • 1 Points
  • 17:57:36, 13 February

Heinous is a good beginning for describing the profound depths of evil it takes to do something like this. This is sociopath level behavior here. It's either that or OP did something to REALLY piss this woman off, but even then this is just abjectly horrible to do to someone.

  • [-]
  • LittleMissP
  • 92 Points
  • 16:40:10, 13 February

No chance. It's not your problem if she wants to bring another guy around. Sit in the sofa and watch tv for the evening.

  • [-]
  • Willowtree213
  • 46 Points
  • 17:02:02, 13 February

Sit on the sofa and watch porn for the evening.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 14 Points
  • 17:12:25, 13 February

We were really yelling at eachother this morning, and this is what I told her I would do, but I don't think it's a threat I can deliver on. I literally don't think I can watch my fiance be with another man.

  • [-]
  • MSgtGunny
  • 28 Points
  • 17:24:37, 13 February

If you put porn on, I doubt the guy will stay around for long. Make it loud too.

Edit: and if you don't think you could do that, invite all of your guy friends over. Have a party. Supply free beer. And if you want to be really sinister when the guy comes over talk him up and get him absolutely plastered, like throwing up in the bathroom all night drunk.

  • [-]
  • TwistedxRainbow
  • 9 Points
  • 17:38:44, 13 February

Gay porn. Loud gay porn. Let's see if he can still have sex with her while hearing that.

  • [-]
  • gowron78
  • 5 Points
  • 17:49:04, 13 February

So much this... Blast gay porn followed by Rocky Horror. Make sure you're sitting in your underwear. Reveal your city so some of the girls from /r/gonewild can come be your dates

  • [-]
  • MikeyDeez
  • 14 Points
  • 17:27:13, 13 February

Then you need to invite friends over to watch it with you.

  • [-]
  • Alwaysahawk
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:49, 13 February

I don't know if OP said it but he's in a completely new city and unemployed so I'm not sure he has many/any friends at the new place.

  • [-]
  • Dutton133
  • 6 Points
  • 17:33:02, 13 February

She isn't your fiancé anymore. I know I'm being a dick by pointing that out, but how you say things do have power on how you think and feel.

  • [-]
  • xbl4ck0utx
  • 4 Points
  • 17:43:03, 13 February

Host a Valentine's day craigslist party. Just put up the address and write that it's only for the freaky type. It will be the best Valentine's day ever.

  • [-]
  • BBWIRL
  • 4 Points
  • 17:25:57, 13 February

Update with your rights... maybe you're not as screwed as some commenters think you are.

  • [-]
  • inneresting
  • 2 Points
  • 17:38:41, 13 February

Seriously if this dude has even a semblance of common sense he will leave and find somewhere else to go with her when he realizes you're just going to sit there the whole night. No dude in his right mind would want to have a date while the ex is sitting right there

  • [-]
  • AngelicKitty
  • 1 Points
  • 17:53:45, 13 February

Correction, EX fiancee.

>I literally don't think I can watch my fiance be with another man.

First of all, I'd like to say that this bitch has no soul. How could you still feel bad about this?

>Very full of himself artistic type.

This will totally last. /sarcasm But that's good, that's her problem and surely, karma will rip her a new one.

>I will be emotionally devastated if I have to watch the woman I love and care for more than anyone else date someone

How could you possibly love someone like her? Don't you know that love should only be given to the people who truly care about you and you about them? Truly. She doesn't even respect you. I am in shock at how insensitive this "love of your life" is with you. If I were in your position, I'd be so fucking happy this happened before we got married! Seriously, bullet dodged. Honestly, if someone did this to me, I'd be devastated as well of course but it'd make it much easier for me to be a bitch back and move on.

Don't you have any respect for yourself? You need to close yourself off and treat this bitch the way she deserves to be treated, like the trash she is.

  • [-]
  • DruePhoenix
  • 1 Points
  • 17:54:06, 13 February

If she is brash enough to bring another man over to canoodle in front of you, she is your ex-fiance my friend.

  • [-]
  • abgrey
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:03, 13 February

Your ex fiancé. She's obviously a bitch, but she's your ex now. You need to accept that fact in order to move on to someone much lower on the crazy scale.

  • [-]
  • nekonamida
  • 33 Points
  • 16:48:21, 13 February

4 years with her and this is how she treats you? Literally parading a Valentine's date in your apartment and expecting you to go sleep outside or something after dumping you a few days ago for this guy? You dodged a bullet by not going through with the marriage. She doesn't give a flying fuck about you. Fuck her. Give her the most awkward, tension filled Valentine's date ever by not leaving the apartment. You pay rent. She can't force you out.

Look at it this way. You know this guy is arrogant and treats other like they are beneath him. It's only a matter of time before he turns that on your ex. She's going to miss the stable and non-asshole boyfriend you were. She's going to kick herself in the long run for letting infatuation overcome her good relationship for someone she's likely going to have a shit show with. Karma's coming for her. The best thing you can do is get far away and not be here when it goes down hill and NEVER get back together with her.

  • [-]
  • callie831
  • 5 Points
  • 17:35:51, 13 February

I can totally see her come crawling back begging for another chance when this "bond" she feels with this new guy doesn't pan out and he dumps her. I just hope OP doesn't take her back and realizes how huge of a bullet he dodged. I can't believe someone can be that cruel after 4 years together.

If I was the other guy and heard all of this then I'd be running from her as fast as I possibly could.

  • [-]
  • iamallofyou
  • 27 Points
  • 16:47:40, 13 February

I wouldn't try to stay. It will just fuck with your self esteem. Agree to leave on Valentines Day and start packing your stuff. However hide some fish in random places around the apartment. It won't get your fiancee back, but it will prevent her from having the romantic evening she was looking for..

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 9 Points
  • 17:33:35, 13 February

This made me laugh for the first time all week. Thanks

  • [-]
  • MikeyDeez
  • 7 Points
  • 17:29:13, 13 February

Back in the frat house I lived in during college, "ShitCup" was a game. Basically, you take a shit in a cup and hide it somewhere. I'm not sure how you win, but the goal was to have the shitcup go noticed but not located as long as possible.

OP needs to start playing ShitCup.

  • [-]
  • queerhere
  • 4 Points
  • 17:05:22, 13 February

I like this idea. Subtlety is key when you're getting revenge on someone. In OP's position, he has the right to be hurt, but it's against the law probably to fuck with her by staying and by vandalizing the place.

  • [-]
  • TwistedxRainbow
  • 1 Points
  • 17:40:04, 13 February

Go the Jersey Shore route and place cheese under the sheets.

  • [-]
  • pillazilla
  • 1 Points
  • 17:44:57, 13 February

Canned sardines in a furnace grate !!

  • [-]
  • inkypinkyblinkyclyde
  • 16 Points
  • 16:44:57, 13 February

If you have a confidant in her family, I'd let them know what she is doing to you. She needs someone who can kick her ass to do it.

  • [-]
  • GlitterBlonde
  • 9 Points
  • 17:04:03, 13 February

If you want to go the petty-route (which, why not, she's obviously taken this to a whole new level), I'd snap a photo of the two of them on their romantic date and plaster it EVERYWHERE. Don't forget to send it to all of her friends and family too!

  • [-]
  • inkypinkyblinkyclyde
  • 29 Points
  • 16:43:49, 13 February

Fuck that noise.

You really dodged a bullet though. What a selfish person.

I'd stay in and be as obnoxious as possible.

  • [-]
  • JoeDawson8
  • 8 Points
  • 16:52:44, 13 February

I suggest loud death metal whilst lighting candles in a pentagram. That'll make for a romantic evening.

  • [-]
  • WordsVerbatim
  • 2 Points
  • 17:34:10, 13 February

Yeah, this girl is a real piece of work. You are correct: Bullet dodged.

  • [-]
  • xxCLJ
  • 34 Points
  • 16:31:46, 13 February

Haven't even read what you've put, because just from the title I'd tell her to fuck right off!

Stand your ground and stay!

  • [-]
  • victoria_woodhull
  • 11 Points
  • 16:44:03, 13 February

I know it sucks to hear this right now and doesn't solve your immediate problems, but in a weird way you should be thanking both of them. He is the loser in this because he now is dating someone who lacks empathy and will one day treat him like shit too. You've been spared what would pretty obviously be a horrible divorce and luckily can walk away while still young, without children, etc. Tell her if she wants you out she is going to have to pay for a hotel. Go to a bar and tell every single woman there alone on Valentine's day this story, hope it at least gets you free drinks. Regardless take this as a sign that it is time to move out quickly and do so. You now have the ability to move anywhere you want in the world. Start applying for jobs and get ready to see where life takes you.

What city are you in? Maybe a single redditor will be willing to take you out Friday? If not I'm sure you can find something open all night. Just be sure you come back to the apartment in the same clothing you wore out and politely thank her for ending things on Tuesday (stress that it was on Tuesday). Please say in front of him that you see now how much happier you are not having to deal with her lies and bullshit and wish him the best of luck. Let him wonder what that means. Also suggest to him that he should probably get tested.

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 10 Points
  • 16:52:48, 13 February

Holy shit. This is so incredulous I can't even believe it. Not only do you not leave the apartment, I would have a hard time not posting her request on social media. Yes it's petty and gets you nowhere, but goddamn she is just terrible and I feel like sometimes people should be aware of that level of awfulness.

  • [-]
  • queerhere
  • 6 Points
  • 17:02:33, 13 February

Grammar nazi moment: A person can be incredulous, a situation can be unbelievable.

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 2 Points
  • 17:08:26, 13 February

Cheers to that, then! She is in fact, incredulous.

  • [-]
  • Blorang
  • 4 Points
  • 17:30:47, 13 February

No, still wrong. She would be incredulous if she couldn't believe something. Incredulous is an action word. She is unbelievable.

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 5 Points
  • 17:42:38, 13 February

Dammit

  • [-]
  • Blorang
  • 1 Points
  • 17:58:59, 13 February

Don't worry, 3rd time lucky

  • [-]
  • Ksong11
  • 10 Points
  • 17:17:44, 13 February

She's infatuated, and she's going to find out really quickly that this new schmuck is not the guy that she built up in her head. She's going to regret being so selfish and treating you so poorly. And you're not going to take her back, because from this, you've realized that she, although you've loved her fully for 4 years, is not the one for you. She WAS a great person to love and was possibly going to be your life partner but through this, she's shown that she can't be good for you. Or anyone, for that matter. What a horrible person.

  • [-]
  • Hechtie
  • 17 Points
  • 16:37:04, 13 February

Don't go is your name on the lease fight this grinch....if I knew where you lived I might come over and be your "date" that's how much i think you should stand your ground

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 10 Points
  • 16:42:13, 13 February

My name isn't on the lease since I didn't have a job when we moved out and my credit isn't the best. We thought it would be safer if she put her name on the lease since she's employed and has better credit

  • [-]
  • JoeDawson8
  • 20 Points
  • 16:51:08, 13 February

Go home. Is there someone you can stay with there? If your name is not on the lease, get the fuck out and go NC.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 10 Points
  • 16:53:58, 13 February

Plane tickets back home are insanely expensive, and its money I just don't have right now

  • [-]
  • queerhere
  • 24 Points
  • 17:07:18, 13 February

If you have a family, this is their moment to shine. Any good person would rush to the rescue if their son or brother told them this story.

  • [-]
  • theyretheretheir3
  • 11 Points
  • 17:08:45, 13 February

Can you borrow the money from your parents? Surely they'll understand given that you're in dire straits.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 2 Points
  • 17:26:27, 13 February

Honestly, I haven't been able to bring myself to tell them what's happened. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed about it.

  • [-]
  • eisforennui
  • 20 Points
  • 17:28:49, 13 February

ashamed and embarrassed that she is a total twat? no need!! just state it cleanly, say you don't want to talk about it now, and ask to come home.

  • [-]
  • SlimShanny
  • 5 Points
  • 17:36:13, 13 February

Yeah, it's not like if she stops dating this guy you should EVER take her back. It's over. Just tell them it's over, you don't want to talk about it, and you need to come home now.

  • [-]
  • Craylee
  • 9 Points
  • 17:31:35, 13 February

She should be the one ashamed and embarrassed! Man, tell them. They are your support group and you need them right now!

  • [-]
  • ashleyamdj
  • 5 Points
  • 17:43:23, 13 February

If you were my brother (son, cousin, good friend, etc), I would be on the next plane to you. I would make it my life's mission to ruin her night tomorrow. I don't throw around the "C" word often, but what a fucking cunt. Don't feel ashamed to tell them, they can probably help show her what a twat she is. At the very least help you pack and gtfo.

  • [-]
  • noisyparker
  • 1 Points
  • 17:51:46, 13 February

Well, you need to. If this story is true, it isn't like you have anything to be ashamed and embarrassed about. You'll need somewhere to live until you get a job, and heading back to where you have family is probably the safest way to do that.

As for Valentine's Day, have her pay for a hotel room for you.

  • [-]
  • obliviousninja
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:26, 13 February

This is exactly what family is for though. They're going to be there for you when shit goes wrong :)

  • [-]
  • JoeDawson8
  • 3 Points
  • 17:03:56, 13 February

so sorry, you were put in an absolutely horrid position. No job, no place to live? Fuck Her.

  • [-]
  • wowowowowow12
  • 3 Points
  • 17:16:47, 13 February

Bus? Not as expensive and it'll get you home.

  • [-]
  • rsolow
  • 1 Points
  • 17:44:44, 13 February

Where would you be heading? I could help you out with some airline miles if you wanted to go home for a little while. You can PM me details if necessary.

  • [-]
  • springplum
  • 1 Points
  • 17:48:58, 13 February

Stay for her date, see them together, start bawling, tell the bitch you'll leave them alone if she gives you $2000 for a plane ticket and moving expenses, profit.

  • [-]
  • Plackard
  • 1 Points
  • 17:54:54, 13 February

Steal the money from her. Sell her laptop or jewelry today, whatever it takes to get that ticket.

  • [-]
  • misguidedsadist
  • 0 Points
  • 17:33:18, 13 February

Now's the time to go to /r/personalfinance and learn about the importance of having an emergency fund...

:(

  • [-]
  • SamsquamtchHunter
  • 1 Points
  • 17:45:52, 13 February

No the time would have been months ago, its helpful advice for the future, but absolutely no use right now

  • [-]
  • misguidedsadist
  • 0 Points
  • 17:48:30, 13 February

Well you're 26...chop chop

In all honesty I'd be calling my folks and asking them to help me get home. This bitch is horrible.

My brother did the same thing at 28: he called my parents crying from a payphone in another country in the middle of the night due to a pretty similar situation with a girl. I feel you. Get yourself home and surround yourself with warm feels.

  • [-]
  • BBWIRL
  • 9 Points
  • 16:53:59, 13 February

Look up your tenant rights. Sometimes you have a right to 30 days notice, but you have to reside in the place for a certain amount of time for that to kick in. She might be able to call the cops on you and drag you out of there forcibly, which would be even more embarassing than leaving the love nest of your own accord.

It would be drastic, but don't put it past her. She must really hate you to plan something like this.

  • [-]
  • Hechtie
  • 1 Points
  • 16:55:30, 13 February

can you go back?

  • [-]
  • bcRIPster
  • 10 Points
  • 17:05:43, 13 February

My only concern is if she has truly turned batshit insane that if your name isn't on the lease she might be in a position to make your life even more miserable. Does the property manager at-least have you down as a tenant? Most apartments I've ever heard of require all of the residents to be accounted for on a lease.

Not to scare you but this woman who you no longer know might go so low as to call the police to have you removed for trespassing if this escalates. I would call family, friends, anyone back home and get help with a move. This is a crisis situation for you!

  • [-]
  • the_inmate88
  • 8 Points
  • 17:12:54, 13 February

Tell her to pay for a ticket home and you'll be out of her life for good.

  • [-]
  • Jorcky
  • 8 Points
  • 17:15:37, 13 February

I don't think I can help, but on the off-chance... I am in Dublin Ireland. If you are too, you are welcome to come and get takeaway and drink in my house that night.

I am so sorry, OP. You dodged a huge bullet.

  • [-]
  • LRonHummer
  • 15 Points
  • 17:16:31, 13 February

Agree to leave.

Then hide in a closet, and slowly emerge in the middle of her "date" completely naked and inform them that the other dudes are running late for the gangbang but you're ready to get it started if they are.

  • [-]
  • leanonsheena
  • 13 Points
  • 16:51:55, 13 February

Time to lay in the couch naked eating bon bond after he arrives. When they retreat to the bedroom, start doing lunges and squats outside her door.

  • [-]
  • CaptainJamie
  • 7 Points
  • 16:41:55, 13 February

Tell her to fuck off. So you go with her to a new city, leaving your family behind and having to quit your job just for her to break up with you because she instantly found someone else? What the fuck is wrong with her? She's an asshole. Don't bother leaving the house for her. Don't do it.

  • [-]
  • Congzilla
  • 6 Points
  • 16:42:39, 13 February

Tell her to get bent.

  • [-]
  • soveryoriginal
  • 10 Points
  • 17:20:47, 13 February

Okay, this is going to be an unpopular opinion (at least to begin with) but you asked for it (literally). She got an amazing job offer that you spent a long time being horrible and unsupportive over it only to arrive and fight some more. You don't currently have a job and she is supporting you. You aren't on the lease because you couldn't afford to pay towards it meaning your savings weren't extensive. She feels that she is solving all your problems and at least to some degree I can see that. HOWEVER-

Dating another guy in a week and demanding the apartment and doing what you want without any consideration? Fuck her. That's horrible. Surely she appreciated that it isn't that easy.

How hurtful and selfish to not approach it like an adult.

I'm sorry you're in a rough spot, I am. But you can't just park it, no discussion like everyone says. Especially if you're not on the lease. I guess the mature thing to do is say you don't want to hinder her night but you don't have a place to go but will work on it ASAP. In the mean time, call in favours and get out of there.

Chat to friends and start working to get over her. If it's any consolation: that guy is totally a rebound in her frustration at you and will end badly, she wasn't worth it, anyway.

  • [-]
  • qsteak
  • 9 Points
  • 16:42:20, 13 February

Tell her you are not leaving.

Tell her you are taking the bedroom and throw all her stuff on the floor in the living room. Won't help your situation, but will make you feel better.

  • [-]
  • Plackard
  • 6 Points
  • 16:49:31, 13 February

Any response other than telling her to fuck off is the wrong one. You are not going anywhere.

Furthermore, take that fucking bed for yourself and make her sleep on the sofa until you work shit out.

  • [-]
  • cheesezombie
  • 4 Points
  • 17:17:44, 13 February

How hard would it be to move back at this point? Can family or friends assist, even remotely?

You need to get out as fast as possible. This ex is running all over you and you need, for your sake, to get out.

Reach out to friends and family, see if you can either get assistance moving back to your original city (if that's where you'd want to be) or at least see if anyone has connections to jobs and/or new apartments in the area.

If you're not on the lease, you can cut and run anytime. Get out and don't pay any more expenses on the place where your ex is.

She can go elsewhere for Valentine's Day if she wants to have a date so bad. What a selfish jerk. Yuck.

It won't feel like it now, but you've dodged a serious bullet. Be glad you aren't married and trying to extract yourself that way. Get out as soon as humanely possible and leave this gross, self - centered and callous woman behind.

Don't give her anything more than basic civil behavior. She doesn't deserve it and you shouldn't waste it on her.

Best of luck, OP!

  • [-]
  • Wolf2121
  • 3 Points
  • 17:08:13, 13 February

Dude I would so be in my Boxers and T-shirt watching tv..Screw her and her date..And I would let her know up front.

  • [-]
  • dp85
  • 4 Points
  • 17:13:45, 13 February

Tell her she can have the place, bug bomb it, hit the club, stay w/a friend

  • [-]
  • Its_my_head_Schwartz
  • 3 Points
  • 17:14:48, 13 February

I'm so sorry. Check and see if your city has its own subreddit. You could post there and explain the situation (or not explain it) and see if anyone's down to hang out or even let you crash for the night. Even though she doesn't deserve your acquiescence, your mental health comes first. I wouldn't want to be there either.

I don't have any words of wisdom. Just thinking of how you can get through tomorrow. This sucks so bad.

  • [-]
  • macimom
  • 3 Points
  • 17:15:25, 13 February

call your family/friends and tell someone they need to be there to help you move. call all wedding places and see if you can get some of the deposit back-borrow money from family and call haul for truck if no one can help you

refuse to vacate the apartment tomorrow -let her new guy spring for dinner and a hotel

as soon as she is gone throw all your stuff into what ever truck your friend/family member brought or the haul

leave and never speak to her again

sorry-but whoa-----you dodged a serious bullet

  • [-]
  • eggjuggler
  • 3 Points
  • 17:28:09, 13 February

Firstly, I just want you to understand that she's doing this to prove a point. She's trying to prove that she's confident in her decision, that she's 100% "over" you, and that she's in control of the situation. I assure you that neither of the first two things is actually true (the third kind of is, since the lease is in her name and you haven't really established yourself yet), but that's neither here nor there. Relationship is done and dead at this point... she can piss on the walls to mark her territory all she wants.

Which brings me to my next point. DO NOT allow her to feel like she's beaten you down with this. Her actions up to and including this Valentine's crap have been incredibly selfish and do not deserve to be validated. Get a stack of the loudest, least romantic DVD's you can find and park your ass in front of the TV tomorrow night. Pizza and beer will be a nice addition. Several friends would be even better. Fuck her and her childish, self-entitled demands.

Seriously, if your "new city" is pretty much anywhere in SoCal, I'd be willing to consider canceling my V-day plans just to help you with this because that's how strongly I feel that she needs to NOT get her way in this.

  • [-]
  • queerhere
  • 5 Points
  • 16:59:48, 13 February

Everybody advising him to stay--he doesn't have his name on the lease! This could turn into an explosive situation. Neighbors call the cops over a loud argument, she and her new BF tell the cops that OP is an intruder, OP is out on the streets.

  • [-]
  • K_Rad
  • 2 Points
  • 17:04:59, 13 February

No matter what you do: stay there, leave - you are going to be unhappy and uncomfortable. You are going to either sit at a coffee shop or library all night imagining what ungodly things they are doing, or you can sit in the living room with your dinner and watch some Netflix.

Will she probably piss and moan if you stay? Probably. Is there a chance she will lock you out of your own home if you leave? Just as likely. You can't win, so IMO the best option is to stay at home, watch Netflix on your laptop in the bedroom, and wait for them to leave.

  • [-]
  • foyiwae
  • 3 Points
  • 17:10:39, 13 February

No. It's your house as well. Tell her to get a hotel if she wants time alone. And there is no reason for you to move out to accommodate her. It's your place too. I would just blast music real loud and get whatever you like to drink and fricken enjoy yourself. Dude, Valentines day, day of love, spoil yourself, make yourself a fine ass dinner, get whatever you want. Treat yourself, show yourself you're better than that bitch, and she brings her new beau over? Don't give a crap, and don't take her crap. Watch a film, do what I'm planning to do on Valentines day and just make it a me day. You are better than this. Even if you have no money, spend the day watching movies and drinking cheap beer. As long as it's all about making yourself happy, do that.

  • [-]
  • brokenstopsign
  • 2 Points
  • 17:13:52, 13 February

If you stay in while they have their "date" you are going to hate yourself but it is not fair for her to KICK you out of your house. Stay in and tell her she can't have her date in the house she still shares with her ex-fiance.

  • [-]
  • Every_Bodys_Fool
  • 2 Points
  • 17:14:47, 13 February

What area are you in?

  • [-]
  • DrNotEscalator
  • 2 Points
  • 17:19:29, 13 February

I'd tell her to fuck off. And frankly I'd make it as uncomfortable as possible for her. This is a time to not let her steamroll over you.

After that, call family/friends/anyone and see if they can help you move. Take everything that belongs to you, get yourself off the lease so she can deal with the rent alone, and go live a better life without this bitch.

  • [-]
  • callie831
  • 2 Points
  • 17:23:58, 13 February

I know that right now things are hard, and reading through all of this I really feel for you. But, as a positive, when you're over her and moved on you can look back and realize what a huge bullet you dodged by not marrying this woman.

Anyone that can be that cold and cruel as to break up with you and then immediately demand you leave the place you share together so she can have a date is not someone you need in your life. Especially after you uprooted your life and made a move that took away your job, family, and friends just to support her in her new job.

The fact she has no sympathy over you not having anywhere to go and is saying she'll have the date regardless blows my mind. I'm so sorry.

  • [-]
  • JohnnyCastaway
  • 2 Points
  • 17:28:09, 13 February

First off, I'm sorry for what you're going through, OP. What a heartless, cruel woman.

I wouldn't clear out. I have a strong suspicion that your ex-fiance's date has no idea you exist. So by simply being there when they arrive, you might end her date and drive him off in one fell swoop.

Regardless, as others have suggested:

  • If you have family or friends that can help you get out of there, now is the time to call them.

  • If you have a close relationship with her parents and/or close friends, tell any or all of them what she's pulled. If they are decent people, they will shame her without mercy.

  • Finally, there is a saying: "The best revenge is living well." Get out of that situation and do exactly that. That way, when she comes crawling back(and she will, I promise you that), you can tell her to fuck off and wave your new, improved life in her face.

Good luck, OP, and stay strong.

  • [-]
  • Blorang
  • 2 Points
  • 17:28:11, 13 February

Do a trade: she can have the apartment if she pays for your flight home.

  • [-]
  • brokenhearted118
  • 1 Points
  • 18:00:08, 13 February

This is a good idea

  • [-]
  • rapidthighmovement
  • 3 Points
  • 17:32:38, 13 February

if you moved to nyc, i will be your date and you can invite me over and we can make them super, super uncomfortable

  • [-]
  • gowron78
  • 2 Points
  • 17:46:25, 13 February

I'd make an anonymous call/letter to her boss and mention the inappropriate office relationship happening

  • [-]
  • nnll123
  • 2 Points
  • 17:50:04, 13 February

I say you cook the nastiest smelling thing you could possibly find and stink up the apartment. Carry it around the whole place and then sit there eating it. Fart in their faces if you have to. That shit is not cool on her part.

  • [-]
  • marauder1776
  • 1 Points
  • 17:57:32, 13 February

If you're not on the lease you may need to leave. BUT.

Buy a lot of shrimp and hide it in great places before leaving. Really great places such as ... inside curtain rods (they'll be moved out before they find it), as usually they're hollow. Or anything else hollow/unreachable, down into any cracks/openings anywhere in the apartment. Do that today, so it has time to ripen. Small shrimp can be tucked into stacks of clean dishes, inside knick knacks and undie drawers, behind furniture and in weird spots inside furniture.

Leave a note saying "I'm calling the health department on your stinky skank ass. Whore."

Personally I don't even think monogamy is a very good thing, but being a real skank like that really bends me the wrong way. Where are you, OP? If you're in my town, dude, I'm buying the shrimp.

  • [-]
  • marauder1776
  • 3 Points
  • 17:11:45, 13 February

Can you do twenty years?

  • [-]
  • ShibaShoes
  • 1 Points
  • 17:33:27, 13 February

Just sit next to them while cleaning your gun. Hopefully a pump action shotgun. Chi-chock.

  • [-]
  • diego_montoya_jr
  • 1 Points
  • 16:44:30, 13 February

This can't be real. There's no way in hell would I ever move from that apartment so she can have her date. I'd tell her to fuck right off. What kind of a person was she during your relationship? That's cold as fuck, man.

  • [-]
  • firemonkey1313
  • 1 Points
  • 16:56:43, 13 February

NO

  • [-]
  • Fervidor
  • 1 Points
  • 16:59:59, 13 February

LET her bring him over. Stay and be really awkward. You'll look back on this and be so happy you dodged a bullet and laugh at how hilarious their awkward date was with you eating tacos in your underwear and loudly playing CoD and farting while they try to be romantic.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. It's not very mature, and honestly it's probably not the right thing to do either, but I would stay, and I would be awkward as hell, and I would laugh my ass off the whole time.

  • [-]
  • eisforennui
  • 1 Points
  • 17:27:10, 13 February

ahahaha wtf no.

the correct answer is, "lolno."

  • [-]
  • ShibaShoes
  • 1 Points
  • 17:31:15, 13 February

Pack her shit up and have it removed. Let her sort it out. Change the locks. Just for the day. Don't allow her the comforts that you provided. Fuck her.

  • [-]
  • CrouxR
  • 1 Points
  • 17:31:19, 13 February

Such a monstrous woman.

  • [-]
  • SlimShanny
  • 1 Points
  • 17:33:33, 13 February

Can't you call your parents and ask them to help you out of this jam and move back home. I wouldn't leave. As a matter of fact I would get in the guys face when he got there and told him you still live there and as long as you do he's not welcome. They can date all they want, but it doesn't have to be in front of your face. Tell them to get a hotel. You both live there and I can't believe how insensitive she's being.

  • [-]
  • Hydrok
  • 1 Points
  • 17:33:48, 13 February

Shit, this hits close to home. I just quit my job to help my fiancee chase her dream job. I still haven't found new work after a month and I tutor college kids for some extra coinage. I've always told myself that if she were to end it with me I could get about 3 grand for the engagement ring I gave her which would help me get to wherever I wanted to go.

  • [-]
  • primary_action_items
  • 1 Points
  • 17:35:14, 13 February

Dude, the cunt is just trying to hurt you. If she were truly interested in this artist guy from her work, she could just as easily go to a restaurant or a bar or his place.

You should confront the guy and tell him how she's just using him to get back at you.

  • [-]
  • Kernes
  • 1 Points
  • 17:36:06, 13 February

I think you need some counseling.

  • [-]
  • Massiah89
  • 2 Points
  • 17:37:01, 13 February

Everyone is saying to plant yourself on the couch and I agree with them. But instead of being alone, try to get some other single friends over.

  • [-]
  • geezopete
  • 1 Points
  • 17:38:25, 13 February

If you have time...

Pack your shit, and thrash the rest of the apartment. Make it an ungodly mess she has no chance of cleaning up before he gets there.

  • [-]
  • kidkvlt
  • 2 Points
  • 17:38:44, 13 February

I don't see why she can't just go over to his place or get a hotel room or something if SHE'S CALLOUS ENOUGH TO EVEN GO ON A DATE WITH HIM ON VALENTINE'S DAY and it's completely unreasonable for her to demand that you vacate your apartment.

  • [-]
  • sweatymeatball
  • 1 Points
  • 17:39:25, 13 February

Honestly I can understand exactly what you are going through right now.

I met a woman from another country from me, married her..... Moved all of my shit out there, left my family and my friends to be with her. Couple of weeks after I arrive, she walks out and demands I leave the country immediately.

Words don't really describe how this feels and how it felt for me at the time.

All I can say to you is, keep your head up and try to move on slowly, set yourself plenty of goals and stay single for a good while. Don't ever let her back into your life ever again. Don't ever give her a second chance. Trust me, you have as many have said "dodged a bullet" she will be happy but it will only be temporary, like it was with you. I'm certain she was saying the same things to her friends about you when she first met you. What a nasty human being she is.

If it was me, I'd find some family and move in with them. Even your mum and dad. Anyone, who can help you to stay away from that situation and try to help you when you need it.

  • [-]
  • decimated_napkin
  • 2 Points
  • 17:39:59, 13 February

pleeeease tell me this is fake and there aren't people out there that are really this shitty

  • [-]
  • Pokr23
  • 1 Points
  • 17:41:35, 13 February

I assume you pay rent, or own the house 50%.

It's your property, and you don't want him there. Simple as that. Tell her that, tell her you have the right to call the police if somebody is in your house you don't want to have there.

This is an asshole move, but she started it.

  • [-]
  • stowawaythrow
  • 1 Points
  • 17:42:24, 13 February

I know you've said in other comments that you don't know if you can see her date someone else. BUT.

I bet that he probably doesn't know you'll even be there. She's probably told him you won't be there, or you moved away. If he shows up and you're there it will either make him very uncomfortable (her as well) or leave altogether.

Edit: And if you really don't feel like you can do that... Or if he doesn't leave.. Find a friend, post in your local subreddit, go on couchsurfing.org, something to find a place to stay for the night/weekend. It will get better, you're better off without her. I promise.

Edit #2: If you do vacate before her date, don't tell her and don't respond to any texts and leave before she gets home from work.

  • [-]
  • pillazilla
  • 1 Points
  • 17:43:49, 13 February

This reminds me of the movie with Vince Vaughn ans Jennifer Aniston "The Breakup" please give us an update and hold your ground. You gotta have some primal spirit in this situation, man up... Prétend your just the roommate and your ex will be so pissed. Better yet... You should drag someone into this with you as your date.. actually that is probably a bad idea. Good luck.

>I’ll try to keep this short because I’m so stunned I think I’ve stopped being able to process things. I’ve [26M] been with my fiancé [25F] for 4 years. We’ve been engaged since last year and actively planning the wedding.

> Last month, we moved to a new city across the country because my fiancé got an amazing job offer. I wasn’t happy about it since I had to quit my job and all our family and friends were in the city we left. I was kind of a jerk during the moving process, but I’ve come around since getting here.

> My fiancé kept talking about this guy [late 20s maybe?] she worked with at her new job, and it made it me uneasy. I went to a few after-work events where he showed up, and he seemed like a total asshole. Very full of himself artistic type. I didn’t like the way he interacted with my fiancé and we would occasionally fight about it.

> Tuesday night she got home really late, sat me down and broke up with me. She said she felt an immediate bond with this coworker that’s stronger than anything she’s ever felt before. This from the woman who just a few months ago I held in my arms while watching the stars as she told me she’s never felt more at peace than when she’s beside me. I laid awake on the couch all night feeling like I was continually being punched in the stomach.

> I didn’t fall asleep until 3:00pm yesterday, and stayed asleep until this morning when she woke me up. Basically, she’s having this asshole over for valentines day and demanded she get the apartment to herself.

> Between the move, all the deposits we had been putting for wedding stuff, and not having a job since we moved out here, I have literally no money for a hotel or anything else. We got into a big fight because I called her out and said she knew I had nowhere else to go. She said that’s not her problem, she’s done solving my problems for me (what???!) and that I needed to fix this one on my own.

> I guess his roommate is having a date over so my fiancé offered our place for her date with the asshole. She says this is happening no matter what I say.

> So yeah. What the hell am I supposed to do?

> TL;DR: After uprooting me from my home town a month ago, my fiancé dumped me on Tuesday, and is now demanding the apartment to herself tomorrow for a date with this asshole artist from her new job. I have no money to do anything else.

> Edit: I appreciate everyone telling me I should stand my ground. I told my fiance I wouldn't leave the apartment, but I don't think it's a threat I can carry through with. I will be emotionally devastated if I have to watch the woman I love and care for more than anyone else date someone right in front of me in my own home. Other suggestions would be appreciated.

  • [-]
  • MsMaddison22
  • 1 Points
  • 17:43:52, 13 February

When I was your age, I moved 1800 miles away from my house and my city and my job in my friends for a guy. We meeting about 2 years when we moved in together and we lasted 6 months. When we broke up we had 6 months left on our lease and the only way we survived was taking turns who had the apartment. All of my friends and family wanted me to go back home, but I had to stay to prove to myself that I could do it. But, immediately after we broke up he brought a girl back to the apartment. I got in my car and drove 1800 miles overnight to get to my parents house I was so mad. They were surprised I was there. Hell I was surprised I was there. I think that you really don't want to be there. This is about you rebuilding yourself. So go to a bar, Make a friend, pick up a chick... pickings are easy on Valentine's. Start rebuilding yourself instead.

You do NOT want to be there.

  • [-]
  • smokincuban
  • 1 Points
  • 17:44:29, 13 February

Stay home and smoke a blunt. Make her go somewhere else if she wants to be a bitch like that and invite another man into your home that quickly. That shit is fucked up and she doesn't deserve your respect.

  • [-]
  • Upallnight88
  • 1 Points
  • 17:45:08, 13 February

As difficult as it is for you to accept it the relationship is over so your best option to pay her back for her unbelievable behavior is to document her Valentines date and publish your story to the entire internet. No one will side with her and the world will know what a cunt she really is.

  • [-]
  • dinosauria_nervosa
  • 1 Points
  • 17:45:41, 13 February

FUCK THAT. You stay right the fuck where you are. Jesus. Consider this a bullet dodged. Christ, what a cunt.

I've read some of your replies and even though your name isn't on the lease, if you can prove you live there I don't think she can just make you leave (well, I'm not sure what the state laws are where you live). Are you possibly listed as an occupant, at least? Have you received mail there yet?

  • [-]
  • snap_pea
  • 1 Points
  • 17:46:52, 13 February

Tell her if she wants you gone she needs to pay for a hotel for the night or buy you a plane ticket home. Fuck it they can go get a hotel for themselves and get the fuck out of your home.

  • [-]
  • bippodotta
  • 1 Points
  • 17:47:33, 13 February

You are solving the wrong issue. You need to either move back home or get a job right now.

  • [-]
  • GabbyMFJohnson
  • 1 Points
  • 17:47:46, 13 February

Go find some cheap sardines...open the cans

hide them around the apartment.

Crank up the heat and break the thermostat

Enjoy the rest of your night

  • [-]
  • marauder1776
  • 1 Points
  • 17:59:36, 13 February

You could hide a few inside picture frames. In the pockets of clean clothing. Inside pens, underneath the fridge. Use enough and there's no chance they will find it all before moving out. And don't forget to add little bits of shrimp, too, for a more varied stench.

  • [-]
  • GabbyMFJohnson
  • 1 Points
  • 18:01:25, 13 February

ooh shrimp...thats a great idea

  • [-]
  • N2theoah
  • 1 Points
  • 17:51:12, 13 February

Leave, the apartment, the city, the fucking state if you need to.

I am really sorry for your loss, it seems that when a relationship is going bad only one person really knows, the other is blissfully ignorant.

Leave her, leave the apartment. Take the shit that is yours, pack it up and go back to your parents/sisters/brothers/best Friends house back in the old city.

Do you an her have a joint account? If so go head and take your severance so you are able to leave. Share a credit card?, do the same.

I am not saying screw her over, but at this point you need to only worry about yourself.

Things you have bought together, destroy, put a knife in them, take a bat to them. It will make you feel better. Leave a mess of destruction on your way out. Make her understand what you are feeling.

I know this is not the advice that people would give, but I am really tired of this bullshit, I am tired of people being scum bags, that are so narcissistic they can't seem to give common human decency to people they once loved, make her understand how you are feeling.

Don't look back and don't ever talk to her again, I know this will be hard, but the sad truth is even if this other guy has not fucked your fiance, your fiance already cheated.

My predictions for the future, she will have a romp with this guy, but since your fiance sounds like a nut job he will leave her, hens why he is single. She will be alone and desperate, asking herself "What have I done". She will try to come back to you to make herself feel better. If you are still in the same city you will not be strong enough to rebuff her advances since you are in a vulnerable state. This will lead to the continuation of your currently abusive relationship.

The time is now, your fiance has given you a gift and you did not know it. There are millions, literally millions of other women in this country that would be a better match for you. They care about you, and love you and would not leave you for some artist douche. They would match your desires, and if they forced you to move for their career, they sure as shit would not leave you once you got there.

You are special, you are unique, and there are lots of people out there that are a better match for you.

  • [-]
  • misguidedsadist
  • 1 Points
  • 17:53:51, 13 February

Hey darlin'

A lot of people will be telling you to park your ass on the couch, and that's not bad advice. But in a world where human emotion exists, sometimes subjecting yourself to the kind of drama and heartache that could cause just isn't worth it.

You said you didn't have money to go home, but I think that's where you need to be right now.

My brother called my parents in the middle of the night, crying, from a payphone in another country when he was 28 years old. He had just been through something very similar to what you are experiencing right now: crazy selfish bitch flaunted a new relationship in front of his face after leading him on and asking him to fly across the world to see her.

My parents helped him out with his plane ticket and he paid them back after he got home and started working.

Seriously, call your parents and ask them to help you get home. Hopefully your folks are good people and can at least HELP with a plan ticket. Get far away from this awful situation so you can heal.

  • [-]
  • racecarspellbackward
  • 1 Points
  • 17:54:19, 13 February

get really drunk and pick a fight. make him hit you first. even if you lose you can still get shots in and call the cops and have it so he can't ever come back. that's what I'd do. if hes too scared to fight you it will just be fun ruining their night. its win-win.

  • [-]
  • Master_Z
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:08, 13 February

Get the rings back and pawn them, sell your un-needed items and move back home.

  • [-]
  • noisyparker
  • 1 Points
  • 17:56:34, 13 February

This seems like it can't be true, since she would have to be such a horrible person that it is hard to believe you had no foreshadowing of this side of her. >_>

But, hey, the world is large. The thing you need to do is escape from her. As for tomorrow, have her cover the cost of your hotel room on V-Day. As for the rest, you need to contact family and arrange to move back to that area, pronto.

Once you are back there, you will have a place to live that is not full of poison, and you can work on getting a job and moving on.

Best of luck...

  • [-]
  • tangible_visit
  • 1 Points
  • 17:56:39, 13 February

go to /r/legaladvice to see if she can kick you out and what are your rights as to the premises (you'd have to give your location and some details such as if you contributed monies to the security deposit, etc.)

If you have rights, then do as some here suggested and make a reddit party!

If you have no rights and she can indeed kick you out. There is no point in staying. If flight is the only way back home, then do get your family to pay for it otherwise take the bus.

  • [-]
  • strictlytacos
  • 1 Points
  • 17:58:14, 13 February

Get in your boxers, and play COD or something really loud.

WHAT A BITCH...she breaks up with you and then is going to rub it in your face this hard, and this quickly.

ALSO- when this asshole breaks it off with her, do not go back to her

  • [-]
  • Orzo42
  • 1 Points
  • 17:58:40, 13 February

I had an ex pull something eerily similar to this on me years ago, although not quite as fast or as cold as this. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it freed me from her. Seriously, if she could even consider pulling stuff like this, she is not someone you want in your life. And from what it sounds like, you might be a bit like me, a wee bit passive? I don't mean that as an insult, but it sounds like you don't really want to confront the guy and you have given in to her quite a bit. I think at this point, what you should work on is getting where you need to be so you can deal with all of this. Staying around her wont help, don't bother trying to reconcile, just get to a place where you can start dealing with this and getting your life back on track. This will be the hardest thing you deal with, but trust me, it gets much better. After you go through something like this, you have much better knowledge of what you want in a relationship and how you should be treated.

Good luck man, its going to suck, and I really feel for you, but you are really better off now than if you married her.

  • [-]
  • akharon
  • 1 Points
  • 17:59:55, 13 February

>What the hell am I supposed to do?

Congratulate her tomorrow. Wearing nothing but a thong and a 3 day beard, and hopefully some good BO. Be surrounded by your friends who might not have plans for the night, and if they're adventurous, wearing the same.

She can fuck a rake, with what she's trying to pull on you. I'd also consider instructing any guests that they're trespassing and call the cops on the them if/when they don't leave.

  • [-]
  • WIInvestigator
  • 1 Points
  • 18:00:50, 13 February

Take a dump with the door wide open.

  • [-]
  • adrock75
  • 1 Points
  • 18:00:58, 13 February

Agree to leave. Piss all over the bed before you do.

  • [-]
  • ifartedhaha
  • 1 Points
  • 18:01:58, 13 February

I know it will hurt to have her doing this to you. But a few things that may help the situation. If you're there, don't make life easy for her:

  • Invite someone you know over. I know you may not have friends at the moment, but i would be desperate to find someone, anyone just to be there with you.
  • Somehow, I get the feeling she's not telling the new guy everything nor is she being truthful to him. I don't know anyone who would be sane enough to go over to someone's place if they truly knew the situation you are in. Mention the situation to the new guy, don't blow him off unless he's being more disrespectful than he is already by coming over.

good luck, and keep us updated

  • [-]
  • inkypinkyblinkyclyde
  • 2 Points
  • 16:56:07, 13 February

Smell up the place. Make it stink to high heaven. Seriously. Cat piss. Something that'll stick around for a while. Make their eyes water.

  • [-]
  • red321red321
  • -4 Points
  • 17:17:35, 13 February

>After uprooting me from my home town a month ago

You uprooted yourself. If you're a dude you should never drop your friends and family so that you can follow some girl around the country so that she can have a career and be happy. This was your mistake that got you into this situation which obviously has now escalated. Life isn't like Good Will Hunting or Say Anything where you're Matt Damon or John Cusack and you're supposed to just drop all your shit and drive across the country for Skylar or fly over the Atlantic to be with Diane Court.

It makes you look weak and needy and it's obviously a horrible move when it's being done for her and you don't even have a job while you're living with her.

Any girl who isn't a twat like this girl wouldn't find it attractive that you literally just gave up your life to be with her and follow her around like a lap dog. Be your own man and have things for yourself instead of this fictionalized Hollywood romantic movie where you'll follow her across the country/world just to be with her.

There are very few women that are worth abandoning your life for and obviously she's not one of them.

  • [-]
  • rmorr
  • -9 Points
  • 16:40:56, 13 February

Fuck her, man. Be the alpha and take charge of the situation. Tell her to fuck off and find a different place to go. Seriously. You will regret anything you do, but this girl seems to have dropped you like a rock for some douche, so you have no reason to continue being her doormat. You have no reason to continue putting up with anything she does. Even if you had great times in your relationship, you no doubt put up with some shit but now... now you don't have to!

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 19 Points
  • 16:54:36, 13 February

No alpha/betaing. We aren't wolves

  • [-]
  • PearlDeRose
  • 4 Points
  • 17:25:41, 13 February

You.. I like you.

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 1 Points
  • 17:43:21, 13 February

Why thank you! :D

  • [-]
  • nekonamida
  • 3 Points
  • 17:24:56, 13 February

Even the researcher who helped come up with the alpha/beta wolf dichotomy found out it's not true and retracted all his theories. Turns out alpha wolves are the parents of the rest of the pack who will grow up to find mates to make their own packs with (Source). Everyone needs to get with the times.

  • [-]
  • Sparklepants1
  • 1 Points
  • 17:44:20, 13 February

But without being alpha how will we all score HB9's!? My fedora is sad

  • [-]
  • crazyeddie123
  • 0 Points
  • 16:57:26, 13 February

> She said that’s not her problem, she’s done solving my problems for me (what???!) and that I needed to fix this one on my own.

You need to fix her problem on your own? Hahahahahaha!

When he gets here, follow them around with a video camera. Upload the resulting video, get some money, go home. Now you're solving your problem on your own.

  • [-]
  • LondonBanana
  • 0 Points
  • 17:21:48, 13 February

She's just a cunt in general. When she realises he's using her and she crawls back, don't let her back into your life

  • [-]
  • Lostscribbler
  • -1 Points
  • 17:37:59, 13 February

Just look at r/cuckold and steel yourself for what's to come. Then tonight, be dominAte and in control and show your manly side and win her back

Then dump her cuz she is a bitch

  • [-]
  • dontyouknow
  • -6 Points
  • 17:32:58, 13 February

Kill the faggot. Tell him it's a performance piece, if he's artistic he'll understand. Also don't lie over the Internet you fucking faggot.

  • [-]
  • Treasure_hand
  • -6 Points
  • 16:58:58, 13 February

If you name is on the lease when he comes in tell him to leave YOUR property and we he doesn't call the police or kill him in self defense. Or you can handle this the "proper" and be passive aggressive. Never my style but if it works for you fuck it. And look at it this way, better now then after your married. You just dodged a fucking .50 cal, good job. Now shoot back.