[Update] Overheard girlfriend talking to her mom, saying that I am planning on proposing. (self.AskMen)
25 ups - 5 downs = 20 votes
I’d like to clear some stuff up before I tell you guys what happened. I am not Middle Eastern or Indian I am Polsih. (Born in USA parents were immigrants)
Talked to gf
Alright so gf came over and we talked for a bit. I told her that there is a good chance that my job will be moving to Europe next year. She told me that’s awesome and asked if I was getting a promotion (no promotion but pay increase).
We kept talking and I told her that I overheard her talking about me proposing to her. She started laughing and said that her mom is just always nagging her. I told her that I got a bit worried because I also saw her doing more stuff around the house. And I didn’t want her to have false expectations.
She said that she only was cleaning around the house because she knew I have been busy and wanted to be a good gf. I asked her if she would like to get married or have kids anytime soon. She told me that she isn’t sure about not having kids anymore that she is opening up to the idea and when it comes to marriage she’d one day like to get married but she is in no rush.
She asked me about when I’d like to get married/have kids? I told her that I’d like to wait till I am settled in my career and I’d prefer to marry a girl that shares my culture. And when it came to kids I told her I’d like to have a like two or three but that’s a long ways ahead.
She starts asking me about why I want to marry a Polish girl when I am not cultural myself. I told her that I loved the family life my mom made for us and I’d like my kids to have the same lifestyle. She told me that she wants to learn how to make Polish food from my mom. This is where our conversation got awkward.
I told her that’s fine you don’t need to make Polish food for me. Then she said, but you said you’d like a Polish household. I told her that I don’t think we are on the same page. I told her that I love her but I don’t see us having a long term future together.
She start asking me why (I can see tears coming). I told her that I am most likely going to be moving to London and it isn’t going to work out. Then she tells me we can still visit each other and she can look for a job there too. I tell her that it goes beyond that and although I love her, I don’t think she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Then she starts crying, I try my best to comfort her and she tells me she will do the best she can to be a good Polish wife.
I told her that I didn’t understand why she thought we were going to get married. We always said that we wanted things casual and I pointed out how she always called me immature and never really view me as someone responsible enough to be a husband. She tells me that she said those things but she still loved me and said I’d make a great husband.
She begged me not to leave her. I told her she deserves to find someone who has the same goals in life as she does. For the next hour or so she was crying I comforted the best I could and dropped her off at her place. She asked me to spend the night with her but I didn’t think it would be appropriate.
Guys I don’t know what to do she is calling me thinking that if she becomes more Polish I will take her back. She told me that she is willing to become a Catholic (she is an atheist). I told her that we aren’t compatible for the long term and it would be best not to get back together but she keeps begging me to give her a second chance.
I followed the advice you guys said and didn’t mention that it was because of her age. I don’t want to crush her confidence or be in the way of finding her Mr. Right but I don’t know what to do right now. She wants to come over and talk again.
46 comments submitted at 16:58:14 on Oct 8, 2013 by d341