Be better than this, men: "...even when they know we DON’T want to date them, even when they know this is bothering us, they don’t care." (ami-angelwings.tumblr.com)

42 ups - 20 downs = 22 votes

35 comments submitted at 01:50:27 on Oct 28, 2013 by koronicus

  • [-]
  • Willravel
  • 4 Points
  • 02:12:56, 28 October

I was totally on board right up until

>This just illustrates how hitting on women is as much about power and control as it is about attraction or wanting a woman to date them, because even when they know we DON’T want to date them, even when they know this is bothering us, they don’t care.

I think the author means hitting on women after they've given some indication they're not interested. If I see a lovely woman and we're in a safe environment, I may strike up conversation and flirt. If she gives an indication she's not interested, that's all the signal any man should need to give the old "Okay, have a good day." and exit stage left. That said, flirting in and of itself is not inherently about power and control. It's the "haha, I don't care" or "if you try to stop us, we'll do it more" stuff that's unacceptable and clearly about power.

  • [-]
  • sunizel
  • 0 Points
  • 06:17:51, 30 October

only if you're trying to make a distinction between hitting on women and street harassment. I don't. they're both obnoxious and unwelcome and always an interruption.

  • [-]
  • Willravel
  • 1 Points
  • 13:58:27, 30 October

It's not always an interruption. If you don't like it, I certainly respect that, but you don't speak for all women. Some women like being flirted with in public under the right circumstances, and there's nothing wrong with that. Flirting is not always some obnoxious, unwelcome interruption. Sometimes it's just fun.

And if I flirt with a woman in a grocery store and she throws me a "fuck off" face, guess what? I fuck right off.

  • [-]
  • sunizel
  • 0 Points
  • 14:38:45, 30 October

are you conflating flirting with street harassment?

wow.

  • [-]
  • Willravel
  • 1 Points
  • 15:21:14, 30 October

You clearly just said you see no distinction between hitting on women and street harassment. That's incredibly stupid, but I decided to show you respect by being gentle in calling you on it, but since you're being an asshole, I no longer care.

  • [-]
  • koronicus
  • 0 Points
  • 16:39:42, 30 October

Hey, speaking of being an asshole, you're telling a woman right now that sometimes flirting is "just fun" (for some women), and you're telling her she doesn't "speak for all women" when she hasn't purported to.

Pretty sure you're also attacking her use of language without understanding it, since you're substituting flirting and hitting on as if they're synonyms. I think maybe you want to be clearer with your terms.

And yes, do avoid ableism.