I [29M] told my gf [29F] of 1 year, that I love her. She didn't say it back but said she's ready to get engaged. I'm sad and confused. (self.relationships)
245 ups - 51 downs = 194 votes
My gf and I have been seeing each other for about a year. Things were going well and progressing. A few days ago when we were alone and the moment seemed right, I told her I love her. Her reaction was "Reallyyy????!! Ummmm... Wow..... I was not expecting that at all" (in the most surprised and shocked way I've ever seen her since I've known her).
We continued to talk and then she herself brought up the idea of moving in together and getting engaged. Her exact words were: "If you were to ask me to marry you, my answer would be yes, and I'd be very happy". She never said she loves me back during the whole conversation, but said she is "falling that way" (she avoided using the word "love" in our entire conversation).
I'm really confused and quite sad about all this. I don't know what to make of it. I'm going to talk to her about it, but thought I'd get myself into a better state before doing so (I've been quite sad for the past few days and don't want to talk to her about it while feeling this way).
tl;dr: I told my gf that I love her, but she didn't say it back. During the same conversation, she brought up moving in together and getting engaged. I'm sad and seriously confused.
EDIT #1: A commenter (flaman12) touched on a good point: "some people like the idea and concept of marriage, and try to convince themselves that it will work."
This is exactly what I'm afraid of to be honest. What made me most sad is that the reasons she said for wanting to get engaged were not emotional at all. She lives with her parents at the moment, and said she's ready to move out and experience having her own place (I just bought a new house). She also said "I know I'm not going to find anyone better than you and you're what I'm looking for". Although these are nice sentiments, I don't find them to be emotional at all; they're very logical reasons.
Whereas my responses to her were: "I wouldn't want to share my house with anyone but you", "You make me so happy", "I want to give you everything", etc (emotional reasons, not logical ones).
EDIT #2: Additional facts
She has a decent job ($50k) and is staying with her parents for cultural reasons and to save up money (although she was born and raised in the United States)
She's very attractive and popular (I think because she is just so nice to everyone she sees, in addition to being so attractive)
She has a lot of friends who she constantly hangs out with (her phone is always vibrating from text messages during our dates)
She recently started taking a hormonal birth control pill that is known to reduce sex-drive; she seems a lot more mellow after starting it (but it could be totally random, I don't know)
She did mention that she is getting older and wants to move forward. She also mentioned her parents are slightly pressuring her.
122 comments submitted at 13:59:30 on Nov 11, 2013 by jsjsatgmail