TIFU By touching my friend's boob after she grabbed my crotch. (self.tifu)

tifu

512 ups - 135 downs = 377 votes

Context: she and I have a weird friendship where we exchange filthy innuendos and whatnot all the time.

We were at a nightclub last night. She walked up behind me and grabbed my crotch. I don't mean a light squeeze, she full-on went in there.

I, thinking we were just joking, returned the favour, and grabbed her breast.

She freaked the fuck out. She slapped me, and now refuses to speak to me. I immediately apologised, again and again, but she just blanked me. Her friends said 'you pig, you pervert' etc.

Again, I tried to apologise to her, but all she said was 'don't ever do that again,' and I've not heard from her since.

246 comments submitted at 19:05:19 on Nov 17, 2013 by banginchoonz

  • [-]
  • danny_fiasco
  • 746 Points
  • 19:29:29, 17 November

That's a fucking ridiculous double standard on her part. Doesn't sound like a very good friend either.

  • [-]
  • monotoko
  • 68 Points
  • 22:07:29, 17 November

I agree, I have a similar "weird" friendship with someone and if she initiates contact, I contact right back and we have a good laugh.

  • [-]
  • courtoftheair
  • 44 Points
  • 22:36:19, 17 November

I am a woman with a similar friendship and would be very confused if they didn't grab me back.

  • [-]
  • betchcakes
  • 15 Points
  • 22:40:01, 17 November

I second this!

  • [-]
  • lalacy
  • 11 Points
  • 22:58:21, 17 November

Thirded.

I mean, I've never taken it as far as a full-on crotch grab, but if someone initiates something like that they really shouldn't be surprised when it's reciprocated. Especially when it all appears to be in good fun.

If I slap a guy on the butt I'm fully prepared for a slap back, and we'll all have a good laugh.

  • [-]
  • BenMackavi
  • 18 Points
  • 22:38:05, 17 November

Where can I get a friendship like that?

  • [-]
  • juicylips336
  • 23 Points
  • 22:39:56, 17 November

Wal-Mart

  • [-]
  • rollinfree
  • 442 Points
  • 19:21:55, 17 November

If you hear from her again tell her to fuck off.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 248 Points
  • 20:20:54, 17 November

After what's been said by a few of my friends and people in this thread, I think I will.

  • [-]
  • rastapasta808
  • 54 Points
  • 22:25:21, 17 November

Yea don't let her drag your name through the mud over something like that and get away with it.

From the way you explained it, you are in the right here. She overreacted and if she wants to spoil a friendship then so be it.

Hold your head high and process exactly what happened. Hell anyone with a brain will know she's an idiot.

"Oh my god Jenny you wont believe what banginchoonz did the other night. So I walk over to him when we were at the club and I grabbed his dong and you know what he did?. He gets this crazy fucking look in his eyes and grabs my right breast! Fucking pig right??" "Wait...wut?."

  • [-]
  • furrocious
  • 30 Points
  • 22:59:41, 17 November

She does sound like the kind of girl who would leave out the part of the story where she grabbed his dick though.

  • [-]
  • Chilly73
  • 12 Points
  • 22:26:45, 17 November

Seriously, that's just manipulation and an unfair double standard on her part. Tell her to get bent if she ever contacts you again.

  • [-]
  • siegewolf
  • 9 Points
  • 22:39:29, 17 November

Seriously, you didn't fuck up at all. I got mad by the end of that.

  • [-]
  • Doctorbuddy
  • 900 Points
  • 19:19:32, 17 November

What a bitch.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 313 Points
  • 20:20:18, 17 November

That seems to be the general consensus. Glad it's not me.

  • [-]
  • glasgowhaze
  • 239 Points
  • 20:27:58, 17 November

Gender equality goes two ways, she needs to rethink her double standards before she starts a joke like that.

  • [-]
  • bLaDzErOx
  • 24 Points
  • 22:04:23, 17 November

In the navy, this happens, but the dude is the one who gets in trouble when the girl claims sexual harassment, girl gets sent away, guy is punished. What the fuck!

  • [-]
  • HCUKRI
  • 21 Points
  • 22:28:59, 17 November

We can't hold women up to the same standards as us, they cannot control themselves and are too weak to be able to do anything to harm a male.

Is the thousand year old logic behind rules like that.

  • [-]
  • feckyooworld
  • 88 Points
  • 21:01:29, 17 November

Dude drop her if she doesn't realize how ridiculous she was. I had a girl that would always grab my ass in high school, so I grabbed her (dat) ass one day and she was all "nu uh, you don't just grab on me like that."... So I told her to go fuck herself. Why is it okay for a woman to grab on a man any time she pleases if she's not willing to accept the same in return. Oh yeah, cause we're creeps...

  • [-]
  • Doom2508
  • 9 Points
  • 21:39:27, 17 November

I fucking hate double standards...

  • [-]
  • solarpoweredhuman
  • 3 Points
  • 22:56:58, 17 November

Why the fuck would you apologize for that? She grabbed your crotch FFS, if anything she should be the one apologizing. Fuck that bitch.

  • [-]
  • semi-lucid_comment
  • 12 Points
  • 20:52:26, 17 November

Maybe she has an assault fetish?

  • [-]
  • djcookie187187187187
  • 1 Points
  • 23:41:40, 17 November

Must be Erin.

  • [-]
  • Roncanator
  • 212 Points
  • 19:30:22, 17 November

A pickle tickle beats a boob grab. She's the pervert not you.

  • [-]
  • lucw
  • 35 Points
  • 21:01:50, 17 November

What if he gave her a nickel for the pickle tickle?

  • [-]
  • nitrous2401
  • 16 Points
  • 22:18:23, 17 November

That brings back middle school days... Ahem.

>^("I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle,
I'll give you a dime every time.
I'll give you a penny if you do it to Jenny,
but don't get caught cus it's a crime."
)

  • [-]
  • ThatLeviathan
  • 13 Points
  • 21:31:08, 17 November

He would incur the wrath of Travis Bickle.

  • [-]
  • Shumino
  • 132 Points
  • 20:00:52, 17 November

To be honest she needs to calm down. If she grabbed your crotch it is worse than grabbing her boob. If i where you id snap at her friends that call you a pervert with the truth then make a flying leap of manliness at her by saying "You touched mine and i touched yours. Stop being a bitch"

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 132 Points
  • 20:02:15, 17 November

I said (to her friend) 'she touched me, I touched her. It's that simple.' She said 'No, it's different.'

  • [-]
  • kufan64
  • 164 Points
  • 20:08:09, 17 November

It's only "different" if you have double standards...

Like everyone else said, you did not fuck up and were not out of line. Would have done the same thing in your shoes. Fuck 'em.

  • [-]
  • SecondHarleqwin
  • 24 Points
  • 21:06:27, 17 November

It's not different. Tell her she's sexist.

  • [-]
  • tikitaki471
  • 20 Points
  • 21:29:09, 17 November

Not possible for women to be sexist I thought...?

  • [-]
  • radiokungfu
  • 5 Points
  • 22:09:41, 17 November

I guess people don't understand sarcasm unless you put /s at the end of it

  • [-]
  • samwam
  • 3 Points
  • 22:00:12, 17 November

Guys, he's obviously joking, no need to downvote him.

  • [-]
  • bigmanbearpig
  • 38 Points
  • 20:47:42, 17 November

Well yeah it is different. She grabbed your dick, you just touched her boob. You should have touched her snatch, that would have been fair.

  • [-]
  • UnicornOfHate
  • 9 Points
  • 22:32:26, 17 November

Correct. This is obviously what her friends are getting at, OP. Next time you see her, go for the baby maker. All will be well again.

  • [-]
  • TheBoyFromIpanema
  • 36 Points
  • 20:54:09, 17 November

To be fair, it IS different... A boob-grab is FAR less inappropriate than a dick-grab (ESPECIALLY when the boob-grab is only a response to a dick-grab). If you'd have slapped her vagina, that'd be the same.

Next time you're in this situation, slap the vagina.

  • [-]
  • samwam
  • 6 Points
  • 22:00:57, 17 November

"slap the vagina" love it.

  • [-]
  • zman0900
  • 8 Points
  • 22:10:36, 17 November

Cunt punt

  • [-]
  • catechizer
  • 36 Points
  • 20:08:50, 17 November

How the fuck is it different? Your female friends are crazy.

  • [-]
  • lemonadegame
  • 18 Points
  • 20:39:04, 17 November

Her friend is being her friend. Bitches stay together bro. They feed off each other, and that validates their bullshit reasoning

Take a stand, tell them its a double standard and you won't be apart of it

  • [-]
  • funkypartyweasel
  • 4 Points
  • 20:55:21, 17 November

Bullshit it's not different. What if you went for a crotch grab also? She's completely overreacting

  • [-]
  • Hurricane_Alice
  • 4 Points
  • 21:39:50, 17 November

Then you should have said "Oh, wait, I should have grabbed her vag"

  • [-]
  • Chef_Lebowski
  • 7 Points
  • 21:12:12, 17 November

Sounds her like friends like to go on wanna-be feminist blogs like Jezebel and have pre-conceived notions of "equality" amongst the genders. Cringe. I'm sorry you had to put up with this bullshit.

  • [-]
  • Shumino
  • 1 Points
  • 22:08:35, 17 November

Last i checked both can be considered a type of assault. So i would tell her friend to do fuck herself and luck up some law, sexist bitch. Sorry... i just hate when woman try the whole "its different cuz I'm a girl" routine

  • [-]
  • SneerfulWizard
  • 1 Points
  • 22:33:14, 17 November

It wouldn't even be that different if you grabbed her clit

  • [-]
  • Sirspender
  • 1 Points
  • 22:51:19, 17 November

It isn't different. And even if it was, hers is worse. Three times worse. She gets the "purply veiny monster" and accompanying duet of cheerleaders while you get only one book? 3 > 1

  • [-]
  • bagelsandkegels
  • 1 Points
  • 23:46:04, 17 November

Tit for tat. Simple as that.

  • [-]
  • gwallace1612
  • 347 Points
  • 19:28:45, 17 November

You didn't fuck up bro. That girl sounds like a fucking loon. Its okay for her to grab your purple veiny monster but for you to touch her babalons? Pffft. tell her where to go bro

  • [-]
  • Golisten2LennyWhite
  • 18 Points
  • 21:04:13, 17 November

Babalons :)

  • [-]
  • khrix_454
  • 71 Points
  • 19:57:58, 17 November

Upvote just for the purple veiny monster

  • [-]
  • Cleopatra_Jones
  • 46 Points
  • 20:24:34, 17 November

One-eyed trouser snake

Purple helmet

Schlong

Tube steak

Baby batter flinger finger

No. 11

The third rail

Oscar Meyer

...need more?

  • [-]
  • iamesauce
  • 65 Points
  • 20:33:23, 17 November

quality > quantity

  • [-]
  • Cleopatra_Jones
  • 20 Points
  • 20:39:29, 17 November

Hey man, I was proud of the last four, I made those up on the spot...

  • [-]
  • gerrettheferrett
  • 9 Points
  • 21:03:56, 17 November

I'll approve of the third rail.

  • [-]
  • Scaryfedoraman
  • 12 Points
  • 21:48:28, 17 November

"Baby batter flinger finger" is just genius

  • [-]
  • lemonadegame
  • 18 Points
  • 20:37:25, 17 November

Heat seeking moisture missile

  • [-]
  • swarley_scherbatsky
  • 14 Points
  • 20:46:43, 17 November

Hotdog with a heartbeat

  • [-]
  • mojitoix
  • 10 Points
  • 21:04:25, 17 November

I like "Chinese Cyclops" to be added on the lust.

  • [-]
  • ARoguePumpkin
  • 7 Points
  • 21:50:13, 17 November

Meat thermometer.

  • [-]
  • Muffinut
  • 1 Points
  • 22:52:35, 17 November

Do you put it in the mouth or the ear?

  • [-]
  • MrF33n3y
  • 1 Points
  • 23:22:50, 17 November

Insert rectally for best results.

  • [-]
  • PassTheDopamine
  • 1 Points
  • 23:50:21, 17 November

I prefer the pit but different strokes for different penises

  • [-]
  • Ambatrxyl
  • 3 Points
  • 21:10:10, 17 November

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0l09K0-4fs

  • [-]
  • TigerWithAMustache
  • 2 Points
  • 21:02:22, 17 November

Mike Myers

  • [-]
  • Canyonero555
  • 1 Points
  • 23:08:26, 17 November

http://youtu.be/p9PiqCeLEmM

  • [-]
  • Car-Los-Danger
  • 1 Points
  • 23:42:59, 17 November

The One Eyed Yogurt Shooter

  • [-]
  • SpongederpSquarefap
  • 1 Points
  • 23:48:39, 17 November

Now do masturbation innuendos:

  • Choking the chicken
  • Killing the whale
  • Flogging the dolphin
  • Punishing the bishop
  • Polishing the flute
  • Knocking one out
  • Custer's last stand
  • [-]
  • FF0000it
  • 14 Points
  • 21:52:06, 17 November

> You didn't fuck up bro

He fucked up by not standing up for himself, he instead cowered in fear and started apologizing profusely:

> I immediately apologised, again and again

  • [-]
  • AlkarinValkari
  • 1 Points
  • 22:45:15, 17 November

"Tell her where to go bro" I like this, different, but still familiar.

  • [-]
  • CUNTBERT_RAPINGTON
  • 1 Points
  • 22:55:40, 17 November

Great advice Dr. Steve Brule.

  • [-]
  • hnxt
  • 43 Points
  • 21:44:49, 17 November

Sup OP, I have a friend whom I work with, we're barkeepers. We do that stuff behind the bar all the fucking time in plain sight of everyone, much to the amusement of anybody who's watching. For example, if she rubs my pecs from behind while I'm trying to fix up a cocktail, I'll return the favor by grabbing ass sometime later. The same exact kind of greeting (crotch grab) you've received from your friend and the same exact retort (boob grab) has also happened, more than once.

I don't even know how this shit got started, we never hooked up or anything, but it's our modus operandi whenever we're at work now. The bottom line is this: if somebody expects you to be comfortable with that level of physical contact, you can expect the same from them. Anything else is ludicrous. The fact that she went off on you like that and keeps acting like you tried to fuck her in the ass after putting roofies in her drink is just downright ridiculous.

Don't let this get you down. Rape and sexual assault are very serious, touchy subjects and I can imagine that being put on the spot like you've been can mess with your head and give you quite a guilty conscience; but get this through your head: you did not do anything wrong. At all.

Here's what I'd do if I were in your position. Don't contact her again, and most of all, stop apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong. Apologizing might fortify the idea that you assaulted her in some way, which isn't what happened. If she contacts you again, tell her what an incredible double standard she entertains and that you want her to apologize. If she flips out or keeps acting like a child, tell her to fuck off and to take it easy on the crotch-grabbing, if she can't handle a boob-grab in return.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 22 Points
  • 21:47:33, 17 November

Thanks! That was really helpful. I feel really guilty, but from what people have been saying here, as well as my friends in real life, I know I'm probably not in the wrong, but I felt awful at the time, and I still physically cringe when I think about it.

Enjoy the Gold.

  • [-]
  • hnxt
  • 13 Points
  • 21:52:07, 17 November

Thanks a ton, man. That was quick. And I was worried you wouldn't even read what I wrote.

Relax and whenever you cringe thinking about it, think about this thread and what everybody said. She (and her friends) managed to make you feel guilty, but that is unwarranted. And don't allow this unpleasant encounter to turn you into a more timid, less physical version of yourself, either. Whatever negative feedback you've received (from her and her friends) was baseless and immoral.

If a woman's feeling you up, you do that shit right back (if you feel like it). If she goes apeshit over it, all you've done is dodge a bullet. While grabbing a boob. Fucking superhero combo right there.

Cheers for the gold again, friend!

  • [-]
  • BULBASAURINTHETARDIS
  • 114 Points
  • 19:41:43, 17 November

She needs to calm them titties.

  • [-]
  • thenshesays
  • 145 Points
  • 20:35:30, 17 November

http://i.imgur.com/TApycOU.jpg

  • [-]
  • Release_the_KRAKEN
  • 87 Points
  • 19:59:28, 17 November

Your friend sounds like a bitch and I don't know why you apologized. You didn't fuck up at all. She did.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 120 Points
  • 20:24:03, 17 November

If in doubt, apologise to the scary angry girl, just in case.

  • [-]
  • The1WhoRingsTheBell
  • 49 Points
  • 20:48:28, 17 November

Lifes hidden tl;dr right there

  • [-]
  • FrostySack
  • 3 Points
  • 21:41:54, 17 November

Hidden alright, but when it comes out of hiding... fuck man, you better look out.

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 7 Points
  • 21:14:47, 17 November

Guys always apologize when I'm mad. Even if they were in no part involved/have no idea why i'm raging and just had the misfortune of walking into it.

Is that a common rational for men?

  • [-]
  • cobywankenobi
  • 28 Points
  • 21:24:24, 17 November

Yes. Because somehow, some way, it's always going to end up being our fault. Edit: Rethought it, here's a better way to say it: Somehow, someway, whether it's our fault or not, we will likely have to take the brunt of the anger. (Edited because I foresaw an apology in my future)

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 15 Points
  • 21:33:54, 17 November

I literally laughed out loud.

I could already see women swooping in with /r/shitredditsays level warping of your first statement into something like, "Oh so what you're saying is women, by default, are irrational?!"

  • [-]
  • TehBlackSheep
  • 13 Points
  • 21:40:55, 17 November

Yes.

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 9 Points
  • 21:59:45, 17 November

This was the most endearing orange envelope i've gotten for this comment.

  • [-]
  • Halfawake
  • 13 Points
  • 21:37:12, 17 November

It's a part of the whole double standards gender cycle.

  • 1) Woman is angry about something
  • 2) Man apologizes
  • 3) Woman unconsciously trained that she can get her way by being angry
  • 4) Man internally dismisses woman as not being able to reason
  • 5) Increase both parties ignorance score
  • 6) Worse communication & increased ignorance woman angry, go to step one.
  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 5 Points
  • 21:57:32, 17 November

See my opinion from a woman's perspective, and this is only a reflection of my own personal experience and in no way applies to my gender as a whole, is there is the accepted preconceived notion that men are just more predisposed to be inconsiderate, or forgetful, or overall need a bit of guidance. That its just in their very nature to be bulls in the fucking china shop that is women's expectations. And i don't agree with that.

BUT, in the instances when i have gotten mad at a guy, the majority of the time they genuinely are shocked or clueless over what i'm mad about.

And usually for me its a complete and valid reason to be upset and when i wait to be calm enough to explain it to my SO at the time, they usually seem to agree or understand, and it seems genuine not like they're just trying to appease me. But then eventually they do what made me mad again and I don't say anything and just accept its something they do until it happens consistently enough that i pop again and we repeat the process. And you would think just being more persistent in reminding guys not to do the things you've already talked about thats not cool, but then theres the stigma that voicing your genuine concerns or feelings is going to be dismissed as just nagging.

So lack of communication is definitely an issue, but it can be partly because when women communicate men are already conditioned to be dismissive of them.

Idk, i would actually like to know a man's feelings towards how they feel women react when they try to talk things out.

  • [-]
  • Theonetrue
  • 4 Points
  • 21:54:25, 17 November

That usually means the guy just tries to calm the situation down and doesn't give a fuck about what happened. When I do it it often means I don't agree but don't find it/you worth the effort to correct.

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 1 Points
  • 21:59:18, 17 November

I do the exact same thing, or sometimes i force myself to apologize when i'm lured into stooping to someones level of stupidity because I'm a human being, and it doesn't matter who started it. I should know better.

  • [-]
  • Theonetrue
  • 1 Points
  • 22:02:17, 17 November

So I guess it is not common for men but common for any gender

  • [-]
  • captsalad
  • 25 Points
  • 19:35:23, 17 November

Did she think you were someone else?

  • [-]
  • Loadbearingdude
  • 13 Points
  • 19:40:45, 17 November

Too bad --- A tit for that....

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 13 Points
  • 20:23:41, 17 November

Nope, she was looking at me.

  • [-]
  • skilledassasin26
  • 20 Points
  • 20:10:19, 17 November

She fucked up, why would she full on grab your little wennis and not expect you to do anything in return??? Good for you thought, you got a girl grabbing your dick and you got boob action.. so technically you went to second base without even swinging the bat lol

  • [-]
  • KennyFulgencio
  • 22 Points
  • 20:47:35, 17 November

> full on grab your little wennis

  • [-]
  • nmork
  • 9 Points
  • 21:00:47, 17 November

Risky click of the day right there.

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 5 Points
  • 21:15:22, 17 November

I love that 50/50 subreddit, its like russian roulette for the eyes.

  • [-]
  • Matthew94
  • 2 Points
  • 22:07:10, 17 November

where it's 95% porn

  • [-]
  • DudeNick
  • 69 Points
  • 19:22:00, 17 November

This doesn't make any sense. Cock > boob.

  • [-]
  • Kowzz
  • 22 Points
  • 21:26:14, 17 November

>This doesn't make any sense. Cock > boob.

I'd post this in /r/nocontext or what have you, but I am a lazy, lazy man.

  • [-]
  • AlkarinValkari
  • 2 Points
  • 22:48:02, 17 November

You got me laughing like an idiot on public transport by making me reread that with no context.

  • [-]
  • FrostySack
  • 16 Points
  • 21:45:38, 17 November

Seems to me that she feels violated by the boob grab, all the while assuming that her grabbing your hangdown should be the best thing that has ever happened to you and not at all invasive or violating. She needs to learn the lesson that a lot of girls need to learn as well. Tit for tat, motherfucker.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 8 Points
  • 21:51:09, 17 November

Amen.

  • [-]
  • CorruptPotato
  • 15 Points
  • 20:25:32, 17 November

what the fuck. That's a bullshit double standard man.

  • [-]
  • cubiclejockey
  • 28 Points
  • 20:18:43, 17 November

She wanted it to bra secret, and your grab was in eyesight of her friends.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 10 Points
  • 20:24:58, 17 November

Possibly.

  • [-]
  • TehBlackSheep
  • 7 Points
  • 21:43:22, 17 November

Still, even if that were true, she threw you under the bus just to save her own skin / reputation at the expense of humiliating you in front of everyone. She is not a friend!

  • [-]
  • em_etib
  • 15 Points
  • 20:58:14, 17 November

Your explanation is the only one that makes sense. If they're "filthy" together and she crotch grabbed him, her reaction simply doesn't make sense. But if she discretely gave a crotch squeeze, and he full on grabbed a tit in front of everybody she was probably embarrassed at the total lack of discretion.

For an example perhaps more people can relate to, imagine you see your crush while out with a friend. You give your friend a jab on the arm and whisper, "Dude, look, Sarah's over there!!" Your friend whips around, loudly exclaiming, "WHERE? WHO??? WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT?? WHERE?? I DON'T SEE ANYBODY--OH!! WERE YOU POINTING AT HER!?? WHAT ABOUT HER?? IS THAT SARAH??" You immediately wish you had never said anything to your friend and are trying to wave them away and say "nevermind" while pretending not to know them.

I feel like, in OP's case, his friend had the same panic and simply reacted badly due to the sudden unwanted public attention of the boob grab.

  • [-]
  • jonesin20
  • 1 Points
  • 21:43:08, 17 November

Except in one the friend is socially awkward and in the other she's making everyone think he sexually assaulted her, but by all means if those are the same let's treat them as such.

  • [-]
  • em_etib
  • 3 Points
  • 21:50:50, 17 November

Except nowhere in OP's post is she "making everyone think he sexually assaulted her." He just says she flipped the fuck out, which can be attributed to an immediate reaction to the shock of OP's lack of discretion.

  • [-]
  • cubiclejockey
  • 6 Points
  • 20:18:53, 17 November

Be a*

  • [-]
  • hbomberman
  • 10 Points
  • 20:54:30, 17 November

there's an edit button

  • [-]
  • shortyjacobs
  • 7 Points
  • 21:02:16, 17 November

No, you had it right the first time.

  • [-]
  • gerrettheferrett
  • 3 Points
  • 21:05:49, 17 November

No, she wanted her bra kept secret.

  • [-]
  • QuestionSign
  • 18 Points
  • 20:15:58, 17 November

crazy bitches be crazy. Why some women think they have free reign is beyond me. this was her fuck up not yours, don't worry about it.

  • [-]
  • JA24
  • 1 Points
  • 23:25:45, 17 November

Society taught them they can get away with anything, and most of them take advantage of this. Don't believe me? Check most of the comments in this thread, and others on the subject. Double standards against men are everywhere and endemic in our society.

  • [-]
  • Still_Teleporting
  • 9 Points
  • 20:32:09, 17 November

Wow talk about double standard! Female here, and I hate when other women do this. She needs to calm the fuck down.

  • [-]
  • RocketsAreDangerous
  • 9 Points
  • 20:44:45, 17 November

If she grabs your junk, at LEAST boob is fair game. She fucked up, not you.

  • [-]
  • nofapj
  • 16 Points
  • 20:17:23, 17 November

You didn't fuck up, that's one of the most bitchiest stories I've ever heard. Obviously she isn't level headed, tell her to go gargle some nails if she gets a chance.

  • [-]
  • mikerobbo
  • 7 Points
  • 21:17:19, 17 November

You havent fucked up at all....shes sounds like a cunt

  • [-]
  • meierk
  • 6 Points
  • 20:33:28, 17 November

Sounds like you need new girl friends. If they think that it's different that she grabbed your crotch, then they have some serious issues. As a woman, these girls sound like bitches I wouldn't want to be around. No worries, OP. They have some awful double standard issues. If I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing.

  • [-]
  • kawumm
  • 28 Points
  • 20:28:37, 17 November

YOU fucked up? you got to be kidding. i'd say you might have even gone for her crotch, boob is IMO not as bad as crotch... and as others said, it's just a ridiculous double standard.

i got a similar story:

a few months ago, a guy and a girl from my class at professional school had a similar incident. the guy happens to be very much into filthy innuendos as well.

the girl would always pinch the guy in his belly, after a while he has had it and told her "if you do that again, i'll motorboat you." she definitely knew what he meant. she probably did NOT think he would pull it off though, but he did. i did not witness the whole thing, but the next day she tells me what he did and seemed rather upset about it - which i could totally understand at the time, given that she did not with one word mention that she had been warned and also that there was a reason why he did it.

i think he went a little overboard, but honestly, some women seem to think they can do whatever the fuck they want and don't have to fear consequences for stuff that could very easily be interpreted as molestation if a guy did it.

  • [-]
  • novichokagent
  • 12 Points
  • 21:08:00, 17 November

Idk man, a pinch is a hugely different kind of action than a motorboat

  • [-]
  • friendly_dinosaur
  • 10 Points
  • 20:40:18, 17 November

TYFU by apologizing again & again.

  • [-]
  • diatom15
  • 4 Points
  • 20:52:50, 17 November

Dont apologize. She established the boundary. She grabbed you. I'm a girl and i would've laughed it off. If you don't wasn't to be groped you dont grooe. Simple.its a double standard that she can grab you in a place that is waaaaaay more private than a boob and you can't do anything back. Its BS

  • [-]
  • mastea
  • 4 Points
  • 21:24:22, 17 November

What she did was waayyyy more perverted than what you did back.

  • [-]
  • rustypete89
  • 5 Points
  • 21:57:07, 17 November

Yeah, it's ok for her to do it, but not you.

Nice "friendship," buddy.

You should stop apologizing, and you shouldn't feel sorry. Contextually to the friendship you describe, you were just running with the joke. She obviously is unclear on the boundaries, it's not your issue.

E: tyopo

  • [-]
  • xShevanel
  • 4 Points
  • 21:58:01, 17 November

Fucking women and their double standards.

  • [-]
  • TheCryptic
  • 11 Points
  • 20:17:07, 17 November

Sounds like a case of her trying to be alpha... Yours is hers, and what's hers is hers.

  • [-]
  • feckyooworld
  • 10 Points
  • 21:10:13, 17 November

That's why she should have peed on him like a healthy person.

  • [-]
  • Sidguard
  • 7 Points
  • 20:27:54, 17 November

That is some double standard bullshit. She should fuck right off.

  • [-]
  • aww40
  • 7 Points
  • 20:46:15, 17 November

You've shouldn't have apologized because one of two things are happening:

  1. You're getting shit tested.
  2. She actually buys into the double standard she just used and doesn't deserve to be apologized to.

If it's scenario one, that means she was trying to get attention, got it, and then went on to see if you would stand by what you did. If you had, she probably wants your dick.

If it's two, then tell her to go fuck herself and to stop being such an asshole.

  • [-]
  • MeGustaTrees
  • 6 Points
  • 20:30:25, 17 November

She's the one that fucked up. Don't grab genitals if you don't want your breast touched. The genitals are way more private imo.

  • [-]
  • Wonderful_Toes
  • 3 Points
  • 20:59:31, 17 November

Sounds like it was a lot more her fault than yours. A lot. I mean, it's not even like you went a step farther than her; her grabbing your dick is much worse than you grabbing her boob.

She's probably just overreacting, and her friends are following her lead (happens all the time). Let them all simmer down for a week or so, then try to get back in touch. If she's still being the same way at that point, I'd say it's time to get rid of her as a friend, as hard as it will be.

Sorry, man.

  • [-]
  • pinball_wizard85
  • 3 Points
  • 21:08:38, 17 November

A with the huge majority, I agree that she was completely in the wrong. Firstly no one should be grabbing another persons crotch whether male or female… but clearly this was in jest, and you returned that and she has over reacted. I have had a female friend do this to me once while she was very drunk, and I pushed her to the point where she fell over. I was made to look like a woman beating chauvinist… The grab was as hard as a punch and hurt. She apologised the next day and it was fine.

I am intrigued about how this pan's out OP. Can you let us know when there is an update.

  • [-]
  • DemHooksOP
  • 3 Points
  • 21:53:59, 17 November

You didnt fuck anything up OP.

  • [-]
  • Azkabandi
  • 3 Points
  • 21:56:05, 17 November

Could have been worse. You could've grabbed her crotch in retaliation. Retaliative Crotch Grope Maneuver (RCGM).

  • [-]
  • castlite
  • 3 Points
  • 21:56:43, 17 November

This is not a "friend". You're better off without.

  • [-]
  • chickenlady89
  • 3 Points
  • 22:02:02, 17 November

I am pissed off at your so called friend.

  • [-]
  • clubswithseals
  • 3 Points
  • 22:04:47, 17 November

Just be gay, it'll make it a lot easier

  • [-]
  • AHippoThatLikeJaffas
  • 2 Points
  • 22:27:55, 17 November

Wow, seriously? What a bitch.

  • [-]
  • k_ru
  • 2 Points
  • 22:37:15, 17 November

Female here. She is in the wrong.

Because EQUALITY!

  • [-]
  • T_at
  • 5 Points
  • 21:11:12, 17 November

Yeah, you fucked up. If you'd read your bible, you'd know that it's "An eye for an eye, and a crotch grab for a crotch grab."

Seriously - going for her boob - what were you thinking?!

  • [-]
  • ICANSEEYOUFAPPING
  • 5 Points
  • 21:11:38, 17 November

I seriously thought I was in /r/shittyadvice or /r/circlejerk. Wthell, screw her. If i ran up and grabbed a man in a intimate area I would not be shocked if he turned around an grabbed a equally intimate area (which, personally i don't consider breasts to be quite as private as your freaking penis!).

Show her this thread, and let her know the internet thinks shes an idiot.

  • [-]
  • siegewolf
  • 1 Points
  • 22:43:54, 17 November

> Show her this thread, and let her know the internet thinks shes a bitch

FTFY

  • [-]
  • About_76_Tigers
  • 5 Points
  • 21:28:34, 17 November

Send her a link to this thread so she can know how fucked up her thought process is.

  • [-]
  • Halfawake
  • 7 Points
  • 20:13:39, 17 November

If you want another friend, you could probably do better with any homeless person laying about in a pile of filth in your city

  • [-]
  • Zoronii
  • 6 Points
  • 21:33:26, 17 November

Homeless people can be pretty cool, though!

  • [-]
  • UpBoatDownBoy
  • 2 Points
  • 21:42:46, 17 November

Seriously, just because they're homeless doesn't make them any less of a person.

  • [-]
  • tfunkontheradio
  • 4 Points
  • 20:28:09, 17 November

I'm saving this post, and I want to know what happens when you hear from her again. I'm more curious about that than anything else.

By the way, I completely agree with the consensus here. It's a colossal double standard on her part.

  • [-]
  • iRasha
  • 10 Points
  • 19:49:54, 17 November

with the way some of these TIFU's are, I was expecting you to say "And now she thinks she's pregnant!"

But seriously... theres something missing here. Are you exaggerating the truth? Maybe she didn't actually grab your crotch, but sideswiped it with her hand and didn't realize it. Or maybe you didn't just grab her boob, but were a little rougher than you needed to be.

I dont know, but as a female, if I did that to a guy then I would almost expect him to retaliate on the same level as me. But if I grabbed a friends crotch playfully but then he exposed my breast to the entire club then I'm pretty sure I would slap him. Maybe thats why I don't go around grabbing peoples crotches, thats really just a risk I'm not willing to take.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 19 Points
  • 20:01:15, 17 November

Sadly no, this is completely accurate. I didn't just touch her tit, I did grab it, but then she properly went for my crotch, so I thought it was justified.

Do you think she overreacted, or do you think I shouldn't have done that at all, and just let her grab my junk?

  • [-]
  • MissesMayhem
  • 16 Points
  • 20:07:16, 17 November

She definitely overreacted. If I were to grab someone's junk, I'd be expecting some type of payback.

  • [-]
  • iRasha
  • 5 Points
  • 20:14:34, 17 November

Was there another guy, or someone else, around that might not have known her sense of humor and didn't want them to know?

Since you say you regularly joke around then I'm not sure why she reacted this way. I'm sure she knows she overreacted but wanted to save face by making you look bad like the bad guy. I'm sure she's not walking around saying she started it because then no one would side with her.

  • [-]
  • banginchoonz
  • 4 Points
  • 20:24:33, 17 November

I'm not sure, there's obviously something else going on, whether it's her double standards, or someone else around. Idk.

  • [-]
  • funkypartyweasel
  • 1 Points
  • 20:56:52, 17 November

How much had she drunk by this point? Could be the reason for the bold crotch grab move and overreaction.

  • [-]
  • raaaaaaaandywith8as
  • 2 Points
  • 21:13:01, 17 November

Eh, you didn't fuck up.

  • [-]
  • LeyfLeyf
  • 2 Points
  • 21:15:12, 17 November

Assuming your story is true word for word and you are not swaying it to your side, that girl is in the complete wrong. You should be glad she stopped talking to you.

  • [-]
  • ChristheEffinTrex
  • 2 Points
  • 21:40:35, 17 November

If you still want to get it in, tell her it goes both ways and that you're even. She ever touches you again, you touch her.

If she's not interested then she's a shitty friend.

  • [-]
  • Le_Jonny_41293
  • 2 Points
  • 21:40:37, 17 November

wait, this can't be real... at least it can't be the entire story can it? supposedly "good friends" joking around all the time. and then SHE assaulted and groped you yet all you did was retaliate by groping her back and then SHE freaks the fuck out? WTF what a bitch...

  • [-]
  • MickeyMoorrow
  • 1 Points
  • 21:44:32, 17 November

That blows my mind. Cause your reaction was completely logical.

  • [-]
  • Justtryme90
  • 1 Points
  • 22:08:11, 17 November

Nope, you don't need to apologize. Nope. If she thinks its okay to go around grabbing at you, but can't take it when you do it back. She has a problem. I think you need to find a new friend.

  • [-]
  • Macboogie
  • 1 Points
  • 22:18:58, 17 November

She's a lame dick tease is what i'm getting. I wouldn't want a friend like that personally it sounds too confusing.

  • [-]
  • ATyp3
  • 1 Points
  • 22:36:31, 17 November

Fuck that double standard...

  • [-]
  • Deadmau5_is_cool
  • 1 Points
  • 22:43:42, 17 November

What she really wanted you to do was.....grab her penis.

  • [-]
  • smasters908
  • 2 Points
  • 22:51:52, 17 November

Well, I think OP just found out that she isn't worth his friendship.

  • [-]
  • SilverVixen1928
  • 1 Points
  • 22:54:27, 17 November

Jesus, I am old. I have never even dreamed of grabbing a friend's crotch - male or female. Spouse's, sure, but not just a friend's.

  • [-]
  • thistledownhair
  • 1 Points
  • 23:33:52, 17 November

I'm not that old and I'm sitting here thinking "how are either of those things ok"?

  • [-]
  • aidanhoofe
  • 2 Points
  • 23:26:09, 17 November

/r/MensRights

  • [-]
  • KingBerserker
  • 5 Points
  • 22:02:45, 17 November

Let's do a little role reversal, shall we?

OP full on grabs her crotch/boobs and she returns the favour. OP freaks out, slaps her across the face and calls her a nasty perverted slut. He tells everyone that she's a pig, and when she tries to apologize OP gives her the cold shoulder and reminds her that she is still a piece of shit in his eyes.

This would be totally unacceptable, just like it is in this situation, so you didn't really fuck up at all. She's just psychotic.

  • [-]
  • SoberAenima
  • 3 Points
  • 21:36:06, 17 November

You didn't fuck up mate, and honestly she's no friend of yours treating you like that.

  • [-]
  • PixelOrange
  • 2 Points
  • 21:18:06, 17 November

You fucked up by grabbing her tit and not her crotch. :)

  • [-]
  • scatking69
  • 1 Points
  • 22:12:50, 17 November

I think this is fake or we are not getting the full story here.

  • [-]
  • Nya7
  • 0 Points
  • 20:43:42, 17 November

I'm trying to figure out where you fucked up. A boob grab is nothing compared to a penis grab.. Plus, she initiated it!

  • [-]
  • mistressg
  • 1 Points
  • 21:02:26, 17 November

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzDK70zO-Eo

  • [-]
  • link090909
  • 1 Points
  • 21:15:01, 17 November

please post an update when you learn more

  • [-]
  • eden_sc2
  • 0 Points
  • 21:39:16, 17 November

Are you sure she is your friend? That is pretty ridiculous of her to act that way. Its something I'd expect of a middle schooler.

  • [-]
  • cnguyen100
  • 0 Points
  • 22:11:34, 17 November

Seems like a rapist on her period.

  • [-]
  • Icanberoberta
  • 0 Points
  • 22:14:46, 17 November

Why are chicks so backwards these days? They're given the rest of us a bad image.

  • [-]
  • xCatwomanDeluxe
  • 0 Points
  • 22:18:31, 17 November

Woman here. She's way out of line. Let her go. It was totally a double standard.

  • [-]
  • AndrewnotJackson
  • 0 Points
  • 22:25:30, 17 November

What the fuck? You can't just crotch grab and make it a one way street.

  • [-]
  • King_FFlow
  • 1 Points
  • 22:33:02, 17 November

She probably thought it was a snake and tried to save your life.

  • [-]
  • equatorbit
  • 1 Points
  • 22:57:39, 17 November

Batshit crazy.

  • [-]
  • Jumile
  • 1 Points
  • 23:05:54, 17 November

Chris Rock sums this up perfectly in Women's Platonic Friends.

Cause you never know...

  • [-]
  • nysmoln
  • 1 Points
  • 23:13:43, 17 November

Tell her to fuck off.

  • [-]
  • haddada
  • 1 Points
  • 23:17:00, 17 November

Tell her to shove her double standard up her ass and move on.

  • [-]
  • OnTheLeft
  • 1 Points
  • 23:20:44, 17 November

That makes no sense.

  • [-]
  • Karatzillion
  • 1 Points
  • 23:22:52, 17 November

I can imagine you got a little confused there..

  • [-]
  • 1000kai
  • 1 Points
  • 23:23:04, 17 November

wat

I think you'd be best of not having her as a friend.

  • [-]
  • burningmantis
  • 1 Points
  • 23:23:31, 17 November

FDB

  • [-]
  • jutct
  • 1 Points
  • 23:23:37, 17 November

She's a hypocritical fucking cunt. Feel free to tell her what thousands of internet people think about her.

  • [-]
  • misingnoglic
  • 1 Points
  • 23:25:56, 17 November

Lol, I think everyone's overreacting a bit, including the people in the comments. Just wait for her to cool down, talk about it and assess where to go from there. If she doesn't want you grabbing her then fine, if you dont want her grabbing you fine.

  • [-]
  • FiveEightNine
  • 1 Points
  • 23:38:40, 17 November

You did not deserve that slap.

If she was going to dish it, she should be able to take it as well. This sort of double standard is baffling to me.

  • [-]
  • cyrus233
  • 1 Points
  • 23:39:55, 17 November

What a cunt.

  • [-]
  • LazerChicklets
  • 1 Points
  • 23:40:05, 17 November

Find some better friends. This one isn't worth it.

  • [-]
  • WeldingMouse
  • 1 Points
  • 23:42:06, 17 November

Obviously she was insulted you went for the rack instead of cupping her crack.

  • [-]
  • I__Know__Things
  • 1 Points
  • 23:49:09, 17 November

i can't help but think there is something more going on here. like she has feelings for your or something more.

maybe shes just a bitch, but i tend to think that crazy swings like that are emotional reactions out of fear. not saying she is marriage material, but if the friendship means anything, it at least worth giving her some space and then asking wtf happend.

  • [-]
  • Prometheus6
  • 1 Points
  • 23:50:26, 17 November

What a cunt.