Are any of you just not into sex anymore? (self.AskWomen)

{AskWomen}

5 ups - 1 downs = 4 votes

I feel like that part of my life isn't a priority anymore. My S/O doesn't feel the same way but its just not something I feel like dedicating a lot of my energy towards right now.

I'm 41, very fit and have kids

15 comments submitted at 16:31:08 on Mar 11, 2014 by mybiggerboat

  • [-]
  • what_a_cat_astrophe
  • 1 Points
  • 16:36:08, 11 March

I could totally live without it for about two weeks and be 100% content, but then I WILL ABSOLUTELY NEED IT.

  • [-]
  • mybiggerboat
  • 1 Points
  • 16:37:19, 11 March

Are you married?

  • [-]
  • what_a_cat_astrophe
  • 1 Points
  • 16:48:43, 11 March

No, I am 24 years old and in a long term relationship.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 16:57:30, 11 March

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • poesie
  • 1 Points
  • 17:01:17, 11 March

Hey we don't do relationship advice threads here but if you want to post to /r/askwomenadvice you could go down that train of thought.

  • [-]
  • wineandcatlady
  • 1 Points
  • 16:38:57, 11 March

Because I have depression, I'm sometimes not in the mood to have sex. My boyfriend is though so I make sure to do things to make myself get excited for it. Like filling a bubble bath and wearing heels so I can relax and he can get sex before or after.

Or just walking around naked. Stuff like that gets me in the mood because I'm excited to see his reaction. It's something that makes my boyfriend happy, so it makes me happy.

  • [-]
  • bratchny
  • 1 Points
  • 17:03:42, 11 March

What a fantastic attitude. I try to do something similar. Due to my illness sometimes sex is the last thing I want. So when I feel good I wanna try and enjoy being with my man. Who knows how long it will be until I can do it again?

  • [-]
  • kuury
  • 1 Points
  • 16:49:12, 11 March

A bubble bath gets you horny?

  • [-]
  • thunderling
  • 1 Points
  • 17:03:35, 11 March

>so I can relax

  • [-]
  • Little_Lion
  • 1 Points
  • 16:53:12, 11 March

I go through phases. Hormonal birth control has really done a number on me. However, I never feel like it isn't a priority. Even when my libido is very, very low, sex is constantly on my mind. However, it turns from being a positive priority (e.g. "I can't wait to get home from work so the sex can start!") to a source of stress, anxiety, and self-loathing (e.g. "God, how long has it been? Oh jeez, that long? He has to be so disappointed in you. Why can't I just do this for him? What is wrong with me? I suck! Why is he still with me?")

Happily, that seems to be fading slowly.

  • [-]
  • talktomeaboutcats
  • 1 Points
  • 16:56:51, 11 March

I am married and I have a naturally high sex drive. Unfortunately I am on birth control for our family planning and it robs me of my sex drive. When on oral BC I barely even thought about having sex. I finally got fed up and stopped taking it so we switched to condoms for a few months and it’s like a light switched. I was back at it. Sending him sexy photos, dirty texts, wanting to give him oral, I had my old desires back. I recently got an IUD in and i can start to feel those desires slip away. I am so fed up with birth control I really hate it. I’m no slave to my emotions and will be intimate with him when he expresses his desires but its soul crushing to not feel anything from it. What is the freaking point of BC when I don’t even want sex when I'm on it. I’m really bummed about it and I'm pretty fed up. Will vasalgel ever hit the USA??

  • [-]
  • bratchny
  • 1 Points
  • 17:00:57, 11 March

Poor guy.

  • [-]
  • sirkala
  • 1 Points
  • 17:03:03, 11 March

I.. guess? I'm 25, been single for over a year, and I find that the lack of sex in my life doesn't really bother me. At all. Like I remember that in the past sex has been fun and all but at the moment I feel like it would be really, I don't know, stressful to get to know someone new's likes and dislikes and what have you. I never would have believed it, but I feel like I could go without for quite a while longer.

  • [-]
  • LovesFrills
  • 1 Points
  • 17:03:08, 11 March

As a trans girl, who's pre-op and non-functional (never been so) I'm patiently impatient.

Since I inject my estrogen each week, I tend to be very horny the first couple days when my levels are up around 800 pmol/L. But by the end of the week when they're closer to 200~300 pmol/L less so.

It might be very linked to your T levels. Have you ever checked them? As a cis man your youthful T levels are on average around 700 ng/dL. But as you age they drop, and post mid 30s, they plummet. On average an 80 year old man will have 300 ng/dL. If you're curious cis women on average are between 0 and 50 ng/dL for T with an average of 25 ng/dL, and trans girls are on average much lower than that.

If you want a sex drive, which by the sounds of it you might not, you could do hrt - hormone replacement therapy, and have your T levels raised.

  • [-]
  • celestialism
  • 1 Points
  • 17:03:50, 11 March

My libido's not great at the moment. I attribute it to my seasonal depression and this horrific long-ass winter we're having.