My (27/f) boyfriend (31/m) "proposed" to me and I just can't get over the negative feelings I have about the way it was done (self.relationships)
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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. We live together and basically know that we are going to marry one another.
I always daydreamed about the act of the proposal, that we might go to some beautiful location such as a serene lake or something else romantic (what can I say, I'm a sap). Every time I would day-dream about that moment he asks me to to marry him, I get a little teary-eyed and emotional because I love him.
For a little back story, I recently obtained a job in my chosen field and am enjoying working and making a decent salary. My boyfriend has a very good job with a high salary in the 6 figures (this will be relevant in a moment).
Last night while I was watching television, he comes into the room and with the same tone that he could have asked "what's for dinner", he asks, "wanna be married?". I assumed I didn't hear what he said so I asked him to repeat it and he does. He's just standing there while I'm staring at him. I ask, "are you serious"? and he nods and points to a plastic bag from Wal-Mart on the table. At this point I am really confused, but I got up and picked up the bag. Inside was a ring that looked like it was shaped out of a wire of silver, into the shape of a heart. It was just laying in the bag with the receipt in there $9.99. I started to laugh because I thought it was a joke (a cruel joke, but still a joke). He got seriously offended and didn't understand why I would assume it's a joke.
Basically at this point I realized he was not joking and truly just "proposed" with this ring. Granted, I'm not a spoiled person, I don't need a 3 carat diamond ring but I do want something that will last and that I can wear everyday for the rest of my life which won't turn my finger black for crying out loud. A $9 ring from wal-mart? He is not hard up on cash, he makes in the 6 figures. I knew he was frugal but this is just insane to me.
I spoke to a friend of mine who suggested maybe this was just a "test" to see how I react to a non-expensive ring, and that there must be a real ring hiding somewhere. I wanted to believe this, but after confirming with him, sadly it's not true and this is the real deal. After thinking about all of the times I noted his cheap behavior, I began realizing this too was no different. What I can't understand is why he wouldn't at least attempt to make the whole thing a little bit more sincere or romantic. It just makes me so hurt and upset.
I don't want to come off as some entitled person but I am just so broken hearted. Brokenhearted because he asked me to marry him like he was asking for the time and brokenhearted because he pointed to some wal-mart bag instead of at least making the act nicer.
This is supposed to be a pivotal moment in our lives and instead I feel like shit.
I tried to understand where he was coming from and after he got over being upset at me, he explained that rings are stupid and he refuses to pay more than a few dollars for one. I tried to explain that this is something you wear for years and years, it signifies your love and commitment toward one another. He is just so thick-headed he refused to see it from any other light. I asked him why he would even get a ring at all if he feels this way; he said because he knew I wanted a nice engagement ring. If I knew he was going to get something like what he got, I wouldn't have wanted any ring at all. It felt like a slap in the face.
This has been about 4 days ago and I still can't get over how he chose to do this. Before this happened, I had these plans of buying him a really nice timepiece for when he proposed to me, as a symbol of my commitment and so he can wear something that symbolizes our engagement. Now, I don't even know if I want to remain in this relationship.
Honestly this whole situation made me feel like shit, like I'm dirt and don't deserve a more meaningful or sincere proposal or ring. Am I wrong for feeling like this? I am at a complete loss right now.
Tl;Dr bf proposed in a shitty way, made me feel like shit, and tried to pacify me with a $9 wal-mart engagement ring.
Edit: The mods asked me to remove the link to the ring. If you want to see it, you can go on Walmart's site and type in "Heart Cutout Ring in Sterling Silver". It should be the first result.
743 comments submitted at 22:09:13 on Dec 17, 2013 by WickerBaskets