I had fully unprotected sex and chose not to take the morning after pill. (self.confession)

{confession}

11 ups - 6 downs = 5 votes

I'm not sure why I didn't take it as I'm terrified of being pregnant. If I were pregnant, I would absolutely, no question terminate the pregnancy immediately, but maybe I subconsciously want to know what it feels like to be pregnant? That sounds like something a therapist would say.

I'm in my mid twenties and not on HBC for the first time since I was a teenager. I had sex last night/this morning with someone and we didn't use a condom. We've had sex a few times in the last couple weeks but he didn't come [inside me]. This time he did.

We used to have sex quite a bit a long time ago and he always came in me, but I was always on HBC. I don't know if he forgot that I'm not on HBC anymore? Did he just not care? I can't imagine he doesn't care (he wants kids almost less than I do), but how do you forget that? I know he knows I'm not on anything.

Anyway, this morning I opened up my medicine cabinet and opened the box of morning after pill my doctor gave me a while back after I had gone off HBC. And I just looked at it. And then I put it back in the box, put the box back on the shelf and went to work.

?!?

I don't think I would even tell him if I were pregnant and subsequently had an abortion, it would understandably upset him, and in this particular situation, I'm gonna go ahead and say this is on me. It's not too late -- I can still take the morning after pill. There's a 72 hour window, and while taking it first thing this morning would have had the highest efficacy, it's still a viable option.

There's just some weird little part of my brain that wants to see what happens, wants to roll the dice.

The worst part is knowing how let down and even betrayed he would feel if he knew that A. I didn't bother to remind him to use a condom this time, or at least pull out, and B. I willfully refused to take emergency contraception right away.

**Spare me the "Ur a evil ho whos tryna trap a man!!11" crap. This is a confession. The implication there is that I know this isn't a rational thing. I know it's not the best choice. But there's no ulterior motive that has to do with him.

35 comments submitted at 15:36:29 on Apr 4, 2014 by CandidApples

  • [-]
  • Creeks42887
  • 8 Points
  • 16:06:37, 4 April

I feel like someone should at least try to talk you into taking that morning after pill, so I'll do it.

You already have the pill. No embarrassing trip to the pharmacy where the old ladies behind you glare at you for daring to ask for such a thing.

You don't want a child right now, you're fairly convinced he doesn't want one either. What gamble are you taking here? The risk of possibly having to pay for an abortion? Even partially, it would still be expensive. There's no need to put your body through that for no reason, when you just as easily could have been responsible.

This is a dangerous game you're playing. Please take plan b. You have every reason to take it and no reasons not to.

  • [-]
  • RellenD
  • 5 Points
  • 17:58:28, 4 April

This confession is really interesting, and even though you acknowledge the risk in what you're doing it seems to be part of what's exciting to you.

You're in your mid twenties? It's your rational mind in a contest with your natural urge to reproduce. The game of chicken is between your biological clock and your ability to fight it.

Terminating the pregnancy will be a harder decision than taking that pill today is, though. When you learn you're pregnant you'll start imagining an adorable infant baby girl you can put in cute dresses and such.

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 1 Points
  • 18:29:04, 4 April

God, that's actually a really good point. Admittedly I tend to roll my eyes at 'biological clock' stuff, as it tends to be the new 'hysteria' of the Victorian age, but you may be on to something.

I'm sure l'll be judged even more for this, but I'm also morbidly curious about what it's like to have an abortion. I've always been so well behaved and kept myself out of any trouble that sexual risk taking is shrouded in mystery.

"Terminating the pregnancy will be a harder decision than taking that pill today is, though." Yeah. Wow. At first I thought "No it won't," but how would I know, I guess?

  • [-]
  • No_Mas_Pantalones_
  • 1 Points
  • 18:46:24, 4 April

Are you trolling us? This is just ridiculous. Go take Plan B today. There is nothing fun about having an abortion. After you've done this, make an appointment with a therapist to figure out why you would play Russian Roulette with your life.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 16:08:23, 4 April

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • -1 Points
  • 16:38:34, 4 April

I love him as a friend, that's all. We've known each other a long time. There would be no benefit to having his child. I have no desire to give birth or raise a child, now or ever, and I make more money (substantially) than he does anyway.

I'm also not remotely naive or crazy enough to think that, even if I did want a relationship with him which I don't, that a shared child would magically make that happen. That's not how stuff works.

Like I said, even if I found out I was pregnant, I wouldn't tell him because there would be no conceivable (badumsh) point. It's like a weird game of reproductive chicken, I don't know how else to explain it.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 16:50:02, 4 April

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • GridReXX
  • 1 Points
  • 17:50:58, 4 April

Are you still within 100 hours? I know we can't give advice. But a little birdie told me to tell you to take the pill.

Also, the birdie wanted to know why are you not using condoms if you're not on HBC?

It's like you and him are purposely trying to get pregnant with the whole not using a condom and not being on birth control thing. I personally don't understand the logic on his end or your end.

  • [-]
  • No_Mas_Pantalones_
  • 1 Points
  • 17:51:12, 4 April

You can still take the morning after pill, you don't need a prescription, just go to Walgreens and get one at the pharmacy.

  • [-]
  • Superbacon_hero
  • 1 Points
  • 18:22:16, 4 April

I'm sorry but I have to say it.. You two guys are not old enough to have sex if you do not even think about the consequences about having unprotected sex.. Take that morning after pill (even though it's not healthy at all and you should avoid it as much as possible) and then protect yourself with either condom or birth control from now on. May I recommend you to take some STD tests now you're at it.

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 1 Points
  • 18:36:30, 4 April

This is exactly what I'd to say to myself if I weren't me. It's more than those things, though. There's an extra factor that's just nagging in the back of my mind. I don't know how to succinctly articulate it, or if someone without a uterus could even comprehend it.

For the record, I know I'm clean, I know he's clean (we both get tested between partners) and we're, between the two of us, considerably closer to thirty than twenty years of age.

That's the WTF part: I did think of the consequences, though I can't speak for his thinking. I know people who have had kids, abortions, HIV, etc. I'm not new. I know how sex works and what it looks like to have kids totally unprepared, what it looks like to give birth under various circumstances, what different kinds of abortions look like.

This is a different beast. I legit don't want a kid, but I watched myself put that pill back in the box this morning.

I don't even know.

  • [-]
  • aredditconfession
  • 1 Points
  • 18:29:32, 4 April

Hi, I've been here before, in my own little way.

My boyfriend and I were together for several months before we stopped using protection. We'd occasionally chat about me getting on birth control, but neither of us liked what any of them did, side effects wise, other than the lack of baby making.

Neither of us wanted children. I am young, young, young to have a child, even be in a long term relationship, and knew it. Same with him. Neither of us wanted the responsibility, neither of us had the money, and we were both so young, let alone give up our dreams, plans to travel and explore, and leave that window open to where we could, guilt-free, leave each other if things got too hard.

About 3 years in, I had a thought once while having sex with him. We had just found out his littler sister was pregnant, much younger than we both were at the time. I thought to myself, in this eerily creepy, not conscious voice in my head "I want you to get me pregnant."

I hated myself for weeks after that. To the point where I told him about it.

We did something stupid on my birthday. We tried to figure out a way that we could have sex and he could come inside me. We thought we had figured it out, doing in the bath tub with RAGING hot water ( I already had thought that I was infertile), and, whaddyaknow, I got pregnant.

We had discussed it many times. "What if I get pregnant?" "We'll figure it out if it happens." We both agreed multiple times that I was going to get an abortion.

THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST, HARDEST DECISION I'VE EVER HAD TO MAKE ON MY OWN. I once read on here about a woman's decision to have an abortion, and comparing it to the cry of the sirens. Your body is telling you yes. Yes, yes, yes. And you can't even hear it. Your mind knows better, but it's scared, and in shock. It finally happened. Something I promised myself that would never happen to me.

I would ask him. "Should I?" "That's on you. You do whatever you think is necessary." He was in as big a shock as I was.

Over, and over, and over. "Should I? I don't know what to do."

It wasn't until I was about 7 months pregnant that he really truly grasped what was going on. Denial was strong.

We have a lovely two year old, and our relationship is totally different, and hard. I won't lie. I, a lot of the time, wish I'd been stronger. I wish I could have done more with my life. I'm twenty two. I have a two year old.

I don't have a college education. I don't have a job, or even a job history, really.

Just take the pill.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • -2 Points
  • 17:08:23, 4 April

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 1 Points
  • 17:13:27, 4 April

Oh r/confessions...

Where a guy who wants to fuck his family members gets emotional support, but a woman who had unprotected sex once is responded to as though, well, as though she just said she wants to fuck her family members. Excellent.

ETA: Who hurt a kid?

Also there is no hell. Because there is no God. Just FYI.

  • [-]
  • thehoneyispoison
  • 2 Points
  • 18:03:08, 4 April

From what i have read, you are getting no support, from anyone. You want to play lotto with a life, seemly to just see if you win. What kind of fucked up mind thinks this way. you need help, you are mentally ill. Not one person i know ever forgets aborting a child she was having, none of them regrets it, but they never forget it. why have a memory of an aborted child when you can limit it to "oh ya, i took that pill" you bring shame to humanity.

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 1 Points
  • 18:14:38, 4 April

I don't know that I'm even soliciting support, I suppose I'm more confused by myself and wondering if other people randomly break bad and decide to make a really sketchy choice, especially when they're otherwise uber responsible people.

And hate to break it to you, but I'd know in less than three weeks if I were pregnant, in which case the "abortion" would be, that's right, another pill.

I realize it's a horse of another color, but treating the termination of a pregnancy as though one were gunning down a third grader in the street is massively frustrating.

  • [-]
  • josephalbright1
  • -2 Points
  • 17:16:01, 4 April

it's not about who or why she fucks. hope you didn't scorch your fedora with that burn.

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • -1 Points
  • 17:20:21, 4 April

>a woman who had unprotected sex once

You know you are doing something way worse.

>We used to have sex quite a bit a long time ago and he always came in me, but I was always on HBC. I don't know if he forgot that I'm not on HBC anymore? Did he just not care? I can't imagine he doesn't care (he wants kids almost less than I do), but how do you forget that? I know he knows I'm not on anything.

Stop trying to justify that shit. He doesn't want kids and if he wanted, he would SAY it. Just because you think that he should probably know that you took the pill (see how ridiculous that sounds) it doesn't mean he wants kids. What the fuck.

  • [-]
  • GridReXX
  • 3 Points
  • 17:47:15, 4 April

Of course he doesn't want kids. But if someone tells you they are NOT on HBC... and you continue to fuck them without a condom and even come inside of them... you're being an entire IDIOT. A full idiot. An utter fool. You deserve to be leader of all stupid people.

No one conveniently forgets "I'm NOT on birth control anymore," particularly as she stated, it's something that's reiterated on a consistent basis. And if you do you're not mentally mature enough to be having sex and if you decide to anyway you should understand the consequences. He knew she wasn't on BC and rolled the dice because "it felt good."

She's at fault too for being an idiot, but it's like people on Reddit never want to acknowledge men are at fault for the completely irresponsible decisions they make with sex.

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:24, 4 April

> Of course he doesn't want kids. But if someone tells you they are NOT on HBC...

She says she didn't tell him anything. He should know because they always hang out together. This is some weird shit.

>He knew she wasn't on BC and rolled the dice

No he didn't. She assumes he knew. However, that's not even the bad part. It could easily be resolved. Not much to worry about.

However: She purposely does not take Plan B because she's "curious". This is the part that makes me upset.

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 1 Points
  • 17:26:14, 4 April

I don't know what you misread, but I know neither of us want children, and regardless of what else happens, nobody here's having a baby.

I KNOW he knows I'm not on birth control because we spend literally every day together and he knows everything that goes on with me and vice versa. So is it possible that he willfully disregarded that, or that he selectively forgot it? I don't know. I really don't know.

Either way, it's for me to deal with now.

And really? Having unprotected sex one time is worse than incest? REALLY?

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • -2 Points
  • 17:31:02, 4 April

> I KNOW he knows I'm not on birth control because we spend literally every day together and he knows everything that goes on with me and vice versa. So is it possible that he willfully disregarded that, or that he selectively forgot it? I don't know. I really don't know.

No. Sometimes you just forget things you know? This is a horrible mistakes and thank god you remember that you forgot it so you can take plan B. But oh wait! You don't want to! WHAT THE FUCK.

> Either way, it's for me to deal with now.

You and your fuck buddy. You are fucking him up for your own "curiosity".

> And really? Having unprotected sex one time is worse than incest? REALLY?

It's more than unprotected sex. It's fucking up a guy that is upsetting. You are purposely not taking plan B.

  • [-]
  • CandidApples
  • 2 Points
  • 17:38:52, 4 April

Oh, yes, "fucking up a guy." How dare I ruin his life by probably not getting pregnant, but quietly terminating it on my own dime if I do. HOW DARE I.

I needed to get this off my chest, that's what makes it a confession.

Haven't you ever done or said something that left you scratching your own head? That's why I posted it here. This is one of those things.

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • 0 Points
  • 17:52:27, 4 April

> Oh, yes, "fucking up a guy." How dare I ruin his life by probably not getting pregnant, but quietly terminating it on my own dime if I do. HOW DARE I.

Honestly when I read your text I thought: "Yeah this is justifying her getting pregnant. Pretty obvious."

You sound like when you are pregnant for 2 months you will tell yourself "Why didn't he make an appointment for an abortion yet? Does he maybe want the baby???? Probably! So better no abortion. I'm so curious!".

This is wayyyyy too serious to just do something out of curiosity. Just take plan B. WTF. You are a mess.

  • [-]
  • thehoneyispoison
  • 1 Points
  • 18:09:03, 4 April

I totally agree with you, this is the kind of female that scares the shit out of me. She is full of contradictions. She actually believes she is making sense.

  • [-]
  • No_Mas_Pantalones_
  • 2 Points
  • 17:53:06, 4 April

What are you 12? It takes two people to get pregnant. The onus is on BOTH of them.

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • 1 Points
  • 17:57:07, 4 April

Yes I didn't doubt that.

But if you both don't want kids you can just get over this mistake and take Plan B. He can't fucking take it because he's not the mother. Do I really need to explain this?

  • [-]
  • No_Mas_Pantalones_
  • 2 Points
  • 17:59:29, 4 April

He could have worn a condom, nobody was stopping him from doing it.

  • [-]
  • fuckyralla
  • 1 Points
  • 18:28:35, 4 April

Yes but that's not the point.

The point is that she purposely does not take Plan B.

  • [-]
  • No_Mas_Pantalones_
  • 1 Points
  • 18:42:00, 4 April

Again, unless he was sleep walking or totally out of his mind, he is just as responsible if she were to get pregnant. You can't blame someone else for your own actions and non-actions.