My roommate  is suicidal because he fails with women (self.AskMen)
20 ups - 1 downs = 19 votes
This guy is like the king of everything except when it comes to women. He's a fucking genius. I met him in high school, he aced every test we ever took. This guy was well liked by everybody(except by girls who called him a creep, he was just always shy around them). Prom king and his date ditches him to dance with other guys. Ran Student Body. He was athletic (captain of wrestling, baseball, football) and he's physically muscular.
He's also been shot down by every girl he's approached, and watched his friends go upstairs with the girls that've just turned him down at parties. At the frat, we just tell him to relax and make small talk, but it's impossible for him to keep conversations going. A lot of time, it's pretty clear that they're not attracted to him.
This isn't a post about helping him getting laid though, this is about his self esteem. He tried cutting his throat when he was drunk last week after a party and full of hate towards himself. I've tried explaining that he's more than the notches on his bedpost, but I suck at it.
How do I get him to understand that his value as a man is more than his ability to get laid? He knows he's amazing in those other areas, but it only makes it worse because he's trying to figure out why, despite all his great factors, no girls are attracted to him. It's a vicious cycle of self-esteem being torn up because he thinks there's something fundamentally wrong about him, then girls find that unattractive, etc.
So yeah, he should talk to girls, but he cant do it if 1) he's emitting that lack of self-esteem and 2) he doesn't know what to say. Literally, he runs through the list of major, hometown, hobbies, music, etc.. and they give him cold responses. This fucks him up more, he tries something different, gets shot down again.
He's decent looking. But Chinese, so that might play into why girls don't find him as attractive.
He thinks being a man is really being excellent at everything, first and foremost getting all the lays like the rest of us. I envy his other achievements, he would willingly trade them all to be the "asshole that gets his dick wet with sluts". He used to be nicer towards people, but he's recently been starting to get really jaded with his outlook on the world.
He's focused. Angry and self-destructive, but still focused enough to get his work done. I just hate how he tries to drink everything away. Therapy isn't helping, I've taken him and he tells me that the doc is bullshit.
How do I cut through the self-hate and dead ego to help him realize that he'll get all the sex he wants if he stops focusing on having sex every time we throw a banger (and work on his game. Literally horrible, but it's more trial and error than something I can teach)?
Because at the end of the day, he's thinking that everything he does in life is pointless if he doesn't get sex.
EDIT: I'm aware a solution is to get him laid, but if you guys could tell me what to tell him because I'm on the fence about him getting laid working to help him, that'd be appreciated.
13 comments submitted at 22:39:42 on Apr 8, 2014 by throwconfess123