Fathers of dating-age daughters - what should I be teaching my boys so you're comfortable with them being a boyfriend to your girls? (self.AskMen)

{AskMen}

613 ups - 105 downs = 508 votes

I'm pretty sure I'm doing it right - equality, respect, etc. Still, it's got to be an interesting conversation, especially since at some point despite parental preference they're going to be fooling around to some degree.

402 comments submitted at 15:34:28 on Apr 9, 2014 by The_Evil_Within

  • [-]
  • nigglereddit
  • 124 Points
  • 16:00:43, 9 April

Teach them to respect themselves as well as her.

Teach them that they don't have to put up with her shit just because they're men. I'm her father and I won't.

Teach them that she's a human being and deserves to be treated as one: no free rides, no ass kissing, just fair credit for what she does right and fair responsibility for what she does wrong.

Teach them not to be afraid to call her out. If she plays games and tries to manipulate them, they should tell her to cut that shit out.

Most of all, teach them just because she's my daughter doesn't mean I think she does no wrong. As long as they treat her fairly and equally, I will always be happy with that, even if that means dumping her and making her cry. She's my daughter and I love her more than anything or anyone in the world and that means I won't stand for seeing her treat someone else like dirt for her own gain.

  • [-]
  • The_Evil_Within
  • 47 Points
  • 16:11:49, 9 April

>Most of all, teach them just because she's my daughter doesn't mean I think she does no wrong.

I do wonder just how much relationship damage is done by the idea that a partner's family will always side with them. I know MY inlaws are like that, but I'm lucky enough to not give a shit.

  • [-]
  • maditaylor121
  • 19 Points
  • 22:58:49, 9 April

Thank you for being a father that recognizes that recognizes young men and women have equal value/responsibility in a relationship. I cannot tell you how annoyed it makes me to hear countless stories about Daddy coming out to greet his princess's sex-crazed boyfriend with a shotgun in his hand. I get the joke, but it only perpetuates that idea that girls are treasures to be sheltered and protected, while boys are irresponsible, idiotic assholes.

I'm a girl just past the high school dating age and incredibly thankful that my parents raised me in a way that they could trust my judgment when it comes to men.

Anyway, you sound like a great dad. Keep it up!

  • [-]
  • Greyfeld
  • 20 Points
  • 19:44:19, 9 April

You are a fantastic father.

  • [-]
  • yeya93
  • 5 Points
  • 01:15:09, 10 April

What do you mean by "no free rides"? Like, she should pay for gas?

I get it, it's fair, but seems so unromantic. Perhaps girls should be more comfortable with picking the guy up every once in a while. And I'm so annoyed with the "open the car door" comments.

Anyway, isn't it your responsibility to raise your daughter not to behave this way? I know that you can't be completely sure of your daughter's actions, but you're even less sure of the actions of the guys she dates. OP is asking how you can be reassured that the guy is a good guy and will be good to your daughter. You're doing it backwards.

  • [-]
  • Treypyro
  • 1 Points
  • 05:52:56, 10 April

This is important, if no one calls her out on this shit when she is young, she will grow up to be a manipulative bitch that everyone hates. One of my exes broke up with me out of nowhere, just told me that it was over, I was crushed. Then she got mad at me because she wanted me to fight to get her back. I told her thank you, because if she hadn't I would have dated a sadistic manipulative bitch for much longer, and she saved me from that. Fuck people like that. People like that need to get a tattoo on their forehead saying "WARNING: I'M A COMPLETE BITCH, DATING ME COULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR SANITY"

  • [-]
  • Prime618
  • -1 Points
  • 23:17:32, 9 April

I really wish this was the top comment..

  • [-]
  • M1s4n7hr0p3
  • 0 Points
  • 03:38:01, 10 April

This has been the only true response thus far.