Girlfriend has sex with others but doesn't allow me the same. AMA (self.casualiama)

casualiama

10 ups - 7 downs = 3 votes

Throwaway activated. Ask away.

72 comments submitted at 07:10:47 on Apr 21, 2014 by sabre_twist

  • [-]
  • ohgodtheblood
  • 5 Points
  • 09:36:33, 21 April

Nope.

  • [-]
  • dadiggidydogg
  • 3 Points
  • 07:13:18, 21 April

What is wrong with you?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 07:14:51, 21 April

The usual stuff wrong with most people.

  • [-]
  • dadiggidydogg
  • 1 Points
  • 07:23:36, 21 April

Is she out of your league so you allow her? Does it bother you?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 07:26:04, 21 April

I'm definitely batting way out of my league with her.

It can bother me but it does have it's positives. I've been lucky enough to be allowed to watch her and another girl (but not join in of course).

  • [-]
  • bpoag
  • 4 Points
  • 07:40:05, 21 April

So, what disease do you hope to get?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 07:41:04, 21 April

I've no intentions of breaking up. She's a very sweet, funny, kind and hot girl.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 07:44:10, 21 April

She uses condoms with all but the most trusted of guys and gets tested regularly. I feel pretty safe in that regard.

  • [-]
  • xelentltnlovr
  • 3 Points
  • 07:11:59, 21 April

Why does she feel the need to have sex with others?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 07:13:35, 21 April

She likes the thrill of being with others. The chase and the exploration. It was initially something that came up just during dirty talk and then progressed from there. I'd never seen her cum as hard as when we would talk about it in bed.

  • [-]
  • xelentltnlovr
  • 2 Points
  • 13:35:25, 21 April

Well then you either accept it and find ways to benefit, like with strap ons, so You get the female qualities and she gets the dick. Or you break up.

  • [-]
  • fartchucks
  • 2 Points
  • 14:24:55, 21 April

I recommend what this guy says for you bro,

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 14:30:18, 21 April

Just to clarify, I'm 100% a straight man. Why do you think I need those things?

  • [-]
  • xelentltnlovr
  • 1 Points
  • 14:33:33, 21 April

She needs the dick, you get her to bring in some females, or else it's selfish.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 15:46:36, 21 April

Its not selfish. We just have equal say in the relationship to set our personal cheating limits.

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 2 Points
  • 08:06:38, 21 April

My girlfriend is going for sushi with some twat she met on reddit today, I kind of feel like it's going in your direction

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 08:07:44, 21 April

I'm guessing from your description of him its not a welcome development.

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 0 Points
  • 08:10:15, 21 April

If he takes her to a second location I told her to decline or we're gonna have some serious problems, and I'm not letting this shit happen again "Hey babe can I go on a date with a guy".... fuck off

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 2 Points
  • 08:19:32, 21 April

Wow, man. Why would you let her think this shit is okay?

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 2 Points
  • 08:22:22, 21 April

I'm not letting her know it's okay, I'm letting her know it's fucked up, this kind of stuff leads to cheating

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 1 Points
  • 08:24:53, 21 April

I would like to know how the conversation went, for entertainment. You know, why you had to accept this crap how she approached with the idea. But if you don't want it's okay. I get it.

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 2 Points
  • 08:30:37, 21 April

Just out of nowhere the topic emerged:

Her "I'm going for sushi tomorrow"

Me "Cool, who with" (Assuming it was her sister or female friends)

Her "Some guy I met on Reddit"

Me "What the fuck you're going for sushi with some guy from the internet"

Her "It's only a friendly thing"

....Yeah, going out for a meal with some guy you've never spoke to before is "just a friend thing" sorry my blood's boiling as I type it, am I overreacting?

  • [-]
  • rhysjc
  • 2 Points
  • 08:39:02, 21 April

No way, not at all. I wouldn't put up with this shit.

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 3 Points
  • 08:45:05, 21 April

Hell no you are not. I boiled while reading it.

Fuck that. I don't even know what I would do or say. No guy ever goes out with a girl to eat goddamned sushi just to be friends. Unless the guy is gay. Is he gay?

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 3 Points
  • 09:12:16, 21 April

She's not going anymore, and she's made me look like a jerk who's restricting her social life

  • [-]
  • DiagonalVII
  • 2 Points
  • 16:12:52, 21 April

Think about the situation for more than 5 fucking second and she should realize why it's an asshole move. "I'm going out for sushi with a guy from the internet!" If my girlfriend told me that, I would be extremely pissed and disappointed. Why, why in the actual fuck would you even consider that going out to sushi with another man that you met on the fucking internet is a good idea. It's completely disrespectful and and a huge violation of my trust.

  • [-]
  • Cabbagepatchgirl
  • 2 Points
  • 09:00:04, 21 April

You're being ridiculous. I'm not allowed to have friends that are guys? And yeah, I'm venting to a random person from reddit. But isn't that what you're doing now? Babe. You're being ridiculous and showing that you don't trust me at all.

This isn't second grade, people of opposite genders can be friends. I never called it a date either.

Seriously. I love you with all my heart. But I think you're behaving very immaturely right now.

  • [-]
  • fartchucks
  • 4 Points
  • 14:01:28, 21 April

Unexpected development.

  • [-]
  • Surrealspanner
  • 5 Points
  • 15:19:30, 21 April

*gets popcorn

  • [-]
  • PoptartGrenade
  • 3 Points
  • 17:55:20, 21 April

And going to eat with a guy you met on the internet is just the height of sketchiness, I don't have a problem with you having guy friends, but when it's only you two in a situation like that it just hurts.

  • [-]
  • goingnowherespecial
  • 1 Points
  • 18:29:33, 21 April

I think you two should be talking to each other face to face like adults, rather than arguing through comments on the internet for everyone to see.

  • [-]
  • Ditchdigger456
  • 1 Points
  • 00:05:14, 22 April

Shhhhh you'll ruin it

  • [-]
  • Jonnyc9870
  • 1 Points
  • 16:44:48, 21 April

shots fired

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 08:11:38, 21 April

Whatever is best for you guys :) you'll know better than any of us.

  • [-]
  • Schlegdawg
  • 1 Points
  • 07:59:20, 21 April

If you're happy with that arrangement, more power to you! Is there anything you'd change?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 08:00:43, 21 April

I'd prefer a bit more sex with her myself but its not really for me to ask her to wear herself out upping the ante with me heh.

  • [-]
  • Schlegdawg
  • 1 Points
  • 08:07:39, 21 April

Interesting. I would handle this all entirely different, but I wish you the best of luck!

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:08:30, 21 April

How would you handle it? And thanks :)

  • [-]
  • Schlegdawg
  • 5 Points
  • 08:17:30, 21 April

I don't accept double-standards in a relationship. If she wanted to be free to sleep around, then I get the same freedom. If she wants to do it as a couple, like swinging, then I'd give it a chance.

But if she gets to sleep around, rarely has energy for me, and I'm expected to remain monogamous, then I wouldn't hesitate to dump the controlling slut and move on.

And I don't consider 'slut' to be an insult. It's either we're both sluts, or neither of us are sluts.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 08:20:35, 21 April

I see it as being equal as, when it comes to what is cheating, we both decide what our limits are and the other acts upon that. We have equal opportunity city to express our level of comfort if that makes sense.

  • [-]
  • DiagonalVII
  • 1 Points
  • 16:17:58, 21 April

I don't know dude. I'm sorry, but I'm going to voice my opinion.

She sleeps around, yet doesn't allow you to do the same. She doesn't even have energy for you. How is there nothing wrong with this? She fucks whoever she wants essentially, and she dares to not allow you to do the same? How can anyone be alright with that?

To me, it looks like she's a slut and is using you for one reason or another.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 16:48:11, 21 April

Heh I can't think of anything she could be using me for :p and I'm OK with it because I trust that she cares about me and wants to be with me forever.

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 1 Points
  • 08:08:27, 21 April

I am gonna go ahead and say I don't believe you.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:09:46, 21 April

Its impossible to prove and nor would I want to as any potential options would out us, not something I want spread at work.

Why can't you believe it though?

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 2 Points
  • 08:13:11, 21 April

Because this situation, for me, would be a nightmare. I'm in denial. ^^^^^^Denial.

  • [-]
  • ExplosiveAcid
  • 1 Points
  • 16:05:00, 21 April

I feel you. Just thinking about it is bringing me down pretty hard.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:14:42, 21 April

It's not all bad. It has its good points and its bad.

  • [-]
  • barelyabsolut
  • 2 Points
  • 08:16:01, 21 April

Tell me about the good points. Exclude the watching her with another girl, since I don't care about lesbian shows.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 08:18:52, 21 April

I find that she brings a lot more sexual energy back to our bedroom after she's had fun elsewhere and she's more happy and relaxed. Along with that I actually feel it has strengthened the trust in our relationship.

  • [-]
  • creepingcold
  • 1 Points
  • 14:29:21, 21 April

are you rich?

because in case you are, it's not your girlfriend, it's a whore which takes your money and lives the life she wants to.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 14:46:13, 21 April

I'm well off, yes, however she's well able to support herself in a well paying job.

  • [-]
  • creepingcold
  • 2 Points
  • 16:11:12, 21 April

it's cool as long as you believe it.

the topic says she doesn't allow you the same. if you have double standards, she doesn't love you.

you are adjusting yourself to the situation, most likely because you love her and because you don't want to lose her, but it's clear that she doesn't need you as much as you need her and she doesn't love you as much as you her.

I mean, seriously..

>It can bother me but it does have it's positives. I've been lucky enough to be allowed to watch her and another girl (but not join in of course).

... of course? what kind of man are you? unless this isn't fake, you're just her bimbo.

you are literally like this guy

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 16:44:55, 21 April

There isn't a double standard. The standard is that we can both do what the other is willing to tolerate. And I suppose I do kind of come off like that story except I know exactly where things stand and I've not had to clean up tissues hah

  • [-]
  • ExplosiveAcid
  • 1 Points
  • 16:06:47, 21 April

Would she stop having sex with other people if you decided you weren't okay with it? How is the romantic side of your relationship?

Your title would indicate she is some kind of super bitch who just walks all over you, but your answers to questions tell a different story.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 16:46:47, 21 April

The romantic side is great. She looks out for me when I need support and I truly believe we're in love. She has said that if I asked her not to she would stop being with other guys but I'm not sure it would be the same to have someone who I'm trapping like that.

  • [-]
  • I_HAVE_HEADACHES
  • 1 Points
  • 21:03:39, 21 April

Was this a decision you both agreed on?

Why doesn't she allow you to do the same?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 21:26:56, 21 April

She suggested it and explained her reasons and I accepted it. She struggles with the feelings of jealousy that come up when its me doing the playing away

  • [-]
  • Spacesider
  • 0 Points
  • 08:28:52, 21 April

And then if you were to do it you'd be a cheating asshole. How I love double standards.

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:30:05, 21 April

In that case I would have broken the agreed upon rules of the relationship so yeah I would be an asshole.

  • [-]
  • Spacesider
  • 1 Points
  • 08:34:06, 21 April

So how can you be okay with her having relations with others but she doesn't allow you too?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:36:10, 21 April

Its something she was very keen to try and I saw how excited she was when we even talked about it. In the end I decided to just go with it and reevaluate as time progressed.

  • [-]
  • Spacesider
  • 1 Points
  • 08:39:14, 21 April

Okay fair enough. How long have you been together and how many guys has she been with?

Have you ever watched?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:42:10, 21 April

We just passed the 6 year mark (both 27).

Since this has all started she's been with 2 girls (watched once) and 8 guys (watched her once with a couple).

  • [-]
  • Spacesider
  • 1 Points
  • 08:46:39, 21 April

How long ago did this all start?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 08:48:16, 21 April

Just over two years ago. We kept it a dirty talk fantasy for quite a while.

  • [-]
  • Amphibology29
  • 1 Points
  • 11:31:53, 21 April

Does she ever go back to the same person more than once? Do you worry about her developing true feelings for someone else?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 0 Points
  • 11:45:26, 21 April

Yeah she has guys she'll fool around with regularly. I suppose it's possible that she could develop feelings but as long as I'm top of the pile I don't worry too much

  • [-]
  • RadioActyve
  • 1 Points
  • 20:56:46, 21 April

How does it feel being a gutless excuse for a man?

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 21:29:45, 21 April

I'm not gutless. Its simply an agreement we have.

  • [-]
  • PossiblyAsian
  • -2 Points
  • 11:03:24, 21 April

gay

  • [-]
  • sabre_twist
  • 1 Points
  • 11:44:30, 21 April

I'm not sure how you come to that conclusion heh