AskMen discusses what they've done for their girlfriends, and the thanks they got in return. (self.TheRedPill)

{TheRedPill}

43 ups - 13 downs = 30 votes

There are some real gems in here.

http://np.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1hqm84/whatsthefarthestyouhavegonetomakea_so/

39 comments submitted at 16:28:43 on Jul 6, 2013 by HumanSockPuppet

  • [-]
  • johnsmith66
  • 25 Points
  • 19:13:34, 6 July

I stopped doing stuff like this years ago.You can't win a woman's love by buying her stuff or doing things for her.

  • [-]
  • quantum25
  • 13 Points
  • 19:49:33, 6 July

Most will learn through the experience. I'm sure that's how a lot of us got here

  • [-]
  • johnsmith66
  • 20 Points
  • 20:10:56, 6 July

Definitely. I can just imagine a bunch of Blue Pillers coming here and asking, "I did everything that she asked of me. I told her that I loved her everyday. I quit all of the hobbies that she didn't like and started doing all of her hobbies, such as Yoga, Pilates, and antique shopping. I sold my motorcycle and leather jacket so that we could use the money for our wedding. I bought her a new car and diamond jewelery, but she left me for the lead singer in a local band. What did I do wrong?!"

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 13:57:28, 8 July

Definitely. I'm certainly learning and it's tough.

  • [-]
  • Remerez
  • 25 Points
  • 19:23:15, 6 July

>Drove four hours down to see her when she was sick (trip normally takes six). Took care of her. Took her to the hospital when she fainted. Stayed by her bedside almost a week. Bought her a stuffed animal every time she'd come 'round or wake up. Held her hand throughout her hospital stay, because she was terrified. Stayed there through Snowmageddon, missing classes and work back in my home state. Took her home. Helped make sure she was on stable healthy footing before leaving. Organized her friends to deliver food to her door to make sure she was eating. She cheated on me that year and we broke up.

facepalm of the day folks. Never invest in somebody that see your sacrifice as duty.

  • [-]
  • YouDislikeMyOpinion
  • 3 Points
  • 22:07:26, 6 July

Adding this into my repertoire next to "Trust is earned, not given"

  • [-]
  • chiffonade-
  • 22 Points
  • 16:47:28, 6 July

[–]ExactlywhatI_think 3 points 7 hours ago After being burnt a few times I swore off all that shit.

the only good post in the entire thread.

  • [-]
  • Exactly_what_I_think
  • 29 Points
  • 18:14:31, 6 July

I try to get in early and fuck up the hamstring with brutal honesty.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 17 Points
  • 18:35:03, 6 July

Wow. If that thread doesn't prove this subreddit's merit I don't know what will.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 16 Points
  • 17:16:09, 6 July

In the many, many years of being together, the only thing I bought my ex-wife was an iPad.

It went downhill from there.

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 2 Points
  • 01:14:51, 7 July

I find it hard to believe that all you bought your wife was an iPad.

And if that's true, you either have some major malfunctions earning money or with greed/trust.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 02:36:27, 7 July

Her personally as a gift. The family had lots of stuff. Trust me, it's the right way to go.

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 1 Points
  • 02:50:29, 7 July

I am as stingy or maybe more so with feelings, compliments, emotions, and saying "i love you" as you are with giving physical/monetary gifts. I guess everyone has their own ways of doing things that works well for their relationship.

She knows how important money is to me and how much I obsess over making money, so when I buy a random Louie bag or diamond ear rings for no reason, she gets the idea. I'm like that with all my friends and family though, if someone is broke or poor or just having a hard time, I really enjoy doing something nice for them or helping them out. Dem feels.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 4 Points
  • 02:53:20, 7 July

I behaved very much as a father to my wife (I know how that sounds!) for a lot of the time. I provided structure and guidance. She was an excellent first mate for me. Sometimes though, you fuck up and it's better to break it off. I know she didn't want to divorce.

You may be interested to know that I've never bought my daughter a gift either yet she is obsessively in love with me. Nearly all her crushes are carbon copies of me. Somehow, she is attracted to kids who were like me when I was a kid. Now that's fucking beautiful.

Edit: this is not true. I once bought my daughter a polka-dotted plunger, aka, the skittles gift :)

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 0 Points
  • 02:57:48, 7 July

>You may be interested to know that I've never bought my daughter a gift either yet

I have no kids but I'm guessing if/when I do, he or she won't want for much of anything that I can actually afford. Dunno if I could control myself, I guess time will tell. My kids probably going to end up being a spoiled fucking maniac ;[

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 03:01:12, 7 July

If you define yourself by the things you can buy for people, people around you will pick up on that. Guess what happens when you can't do it anymore? Your value doesn't exist anymore. So I'd suggest you use money for what it is: a way to live life. May not be the best way, but it is one way.

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 1 Points
  • 03:14:30, 7 July

I'm super lucky in that everyone around me now are the same fuck faces who were around me when I was sleeping on their couches and driving a Ford Tempo around selling dime bags, including the GF.

I have less than 10 friends, but all of them have been around for 10 years or better.

I feel very fortunate for that.

EDIT: I take that back, I've met 2 or 3 new friends since I started making good money, but all of them are far better off than I am.

  • [-]
  • YouDislikeMyOpinion
  • 1 Points
  • 22:06:47, 6 July

You're kidding! Of course you are.

But was that purchase seriously made around the turning point of the relationship?

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 22:26:30, 6 July

I should also add that throughout the whole time I knew her, my birthdays every year were a giant celebration where everyone in the world was invited, 2 cakes were baked (one for the guests, one special for me), feast home cooked, house cleaning taken care of (~kind of) and two weeks full of gifts. This went on for 13 years or so. She still tries to get in touch with me on my birthday but I ignore her.

I think I had a small surprise party once many years ago for her which she still talks about :)

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 1 Points
  • 01:18:22, 7 July

>I should also add that throughout the whole time I knew her, my birthdays every year were a giant celebration where everyone in the world was invited, 2 cakes were baked (one for the guests, one special for me), feast home cooked, house cleaning taken care of (~kind of) and two weeks full of gifts.

You actually enjoyed that? I flip shit if friends or family buy me gifts for any occasion. I find it extremely unnecessary and to be honest, a little embarrassing when people buy me shit.

Oddly enough, I enjoy the shit out of buying others gifts.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 02:33:24, 7 July

I thought it was her way of showing how much she valued me at the time.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 02:56:42, 7 July

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • JohnnK
  • 1 Points
  • 03:26:06, 7 July

I don't like it because I generally have more money than any of my friends and most of my family. There isn't really anything friends or family can buy me that I can't buy myself. It makes me feel awful that they spent their hard earned and scarce money on some silly gift that I could easily buy myself.

I have everyone pretty well trained except for my mother, she sends boxes of ridiculous items at least once a month like underwear and socks and fucking pringles and shit, it's kind of adorable TBH. I don't even mess with her anymore because I know she isn't going to stop so what's the point in fighting it. I argued with my grandmother about the same thing for years right up until she died to no avail and my mother is way more hard headed than my grandmother was, so there is no use in fighting it.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 12:51:22, 7 July

You need to read no more Mr nice guy. Learning to accept things like this is healthy.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 22:13:25, 6 July

Yes, seriously

  • [-]
  • 09sadfj9
  • 13 Points
  • 21:23:10, 6 July

http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/21/relational-equity/

> The reason for their shock and disbelief is that their mental state originates in the assumption that women are perfectly rational agents and should take all of their efforts, all of their personal strengths, all of the involvement in their women’s lives into account before trading up to a better prospective male. There is a prevailing belief that all of their merits, if sufficient, should be proof against her hypergamous considerations.

http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/16/hypergamy-doesnt-care/

> Hypergamy doesn’t care how you rearranged your college majors and career choice in life to better accommodate her.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care that you moved across 4 states to be closer to your LDR.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care how ‘supportive’ you’ve always been of her decisions or if you identify as a ‘male feminist’.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care about how you funded her going back to college to find a more rewarding career.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care about your magnanimity in assuming responsibility for her student loans, and credit card debt after you’re married.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care about the coffee in bed you bring her or how great a cook you are.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care about all those chick flicks you sat through with her and claimed to like.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care about how well you do your part of the household chores.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care if you think you’re a “Good” guy or about how convincing your argument is for your sense of honor.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care how sweet, funny or intellectual you are.

> Hypergamy doesn’t care if you “never saw it coming.”

  • [-]
  • two_plus_two_is_four
  • 27 Points
  • 16:40:46, 6 July

First couple top comments...

>She was stressed after a week of tests during summer school. So I went and got her a bouquet of flowers made up (something small) placed in a vase that was her favorite color. Then got her a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. Little did I know she was gonna give me the talk right when she came over. The gifts were a surprise, but the breakup was an even bigger one. I told her to take the stuff and tell her friends her grandma sent her that stuff or whatever. That was a few years ago, I ain't even bitter or anything, sometimes life doesn't work the way we want it to. And that's totally ok.

Her actual reason for breaking up was probably, 'ugh I am so stressed out and this beta keeps smothering me!'

>Traveled every weekend to visit her, where I'd never get sex or possibly even anything past first base and held my tongue when she'd sleep all day I was visiting except for when we'd go out to lunch, where I gradually had to pay all the time because she'd waste her money on pointless things.

Uhh... wow, I have to stop reading the thread now, its just too sad.

  • [-]
  • t21spectre
  • 20 Points
  • 20:05:29, 6 July

She's sleeping all day because she's out all night with other guys.

  • [-]
  • two_plus_two_is_four
  • 7 Points
  • 21:23:54, 6 July

Or she is depressed because her boyfriend is lame

  • [-]
  • Johnsu
  • 2 Points
  • 20:56:53, 6 July

That's not entirely always true. My ex just partied in her room and got high.

  • [-]
  • YouDislikeMyOpinion
  • 2 Points
  • 22:04:41, 6 July

The other responses actually aren't that bad.

  • [-]
  • omen1078
  • 35 Points
  • 17:29:13, 6 July

Let's see, most I have done for current SO.

I rolled over from a nap to read her incoming text. Responded with "k".

Thanks received: Free alcohol, blowjob, sex, and the smell of a homemade breakfast in the morning.

Man, the things I do for her.

  • [-]
  • themoor
  • 17 Points
  • 17:55:21, 6 July

My ex is exactly like this with me. I still bang/hangout once in a while (we are in the same social circle and are on good terms and I don't want to get back together, so it's all cool, RP guys) but basically add no material value to her life. I'm sarcastic, laconic, inconsistent dolling out attention and sex, almost never text her, etc. Like you say: free booze, bjs, food, movies, concerts... and I'm not even trying to get this stuff. It just comes and I make her laugh and shag her good once in a while. Outside the sex, this is try ZERO stuff.

  • [-]
  • toysjoe
  • 4 Points
  • 19:24:20, 6 July

I was going to post in there, but every post I read just made me fucking rage.

  • [-]
  • W-Z-R
  • 5 Points
  • 16:51:42, 7 July

>I can't believe how many people grow up thinking money/doting on people can buy love. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

It's amazing how all the little bits of old person wisdom, I was taught have turned out true in a really dark kind of way. Money doesn't by love, purely because supplicating behaviour diminishes your value in her eyes and a woman's "love" doesn't come from kindness, it comes from her thinking you're awesome.

  • [-]
  • RedeemingVices
  • 3 Points
  • 04:03:21, 7 July

The crap in that thread is why I have kind of a difficult time not disliking women. I know we're not supposed to blame them for what they are, since they can't help it, and that we should just learn to game the system, but man . . . women are just shitty people.

  • [-]
  • HumanSockPuppet
  • 12 Points
  • 04:16:03, 7 July

They're not shitty people. They're just shitty men.

  • [-]
  • pialox
  • 3 Points
  • 06:48:49, 7 July

This

  • [-]
  • omnicrontau
  • 2 Points
  • 22:34:22, 6 July

Hopefully these guys see lesson learned and stop being walked over but sadly they probably rationalise it with nawalt and repeat the same cycle of behaviour flowed by pain and betrayal.

Just lucky I've learned I guess.