28 and Suddenly Panicking (self.TwoXChromosomes)
44 ups - 0 downs = 44 votes
I turn 29 later this year and up until now, I've never felt pressure to marry or have kids. I've been comfortable with my dating life and have always dated the exact amount I've wanted to, with several short-term and one longer-term relationship since college.
I started dating a guy a couple of months ago but it ended recently and I feel like I've been in a tailspin ever since. I can't shake this terrible feeling that I need to find someone very soon, even though I realistically know that I have a good 8-12 years before having a child becomes a real issue.
I honestly wasn't even sure if I wanted kids or a marriage. I thought, if it happens, it happens. Maybe its because I really liked the guy I was recently seeing and I had hopes for a more long-term relationship (not at all thinking about marriage and kids that early on, but at least the two of us growing into a relationship and seeing where things led us). He broke up with me and I am still feeling sad about it. That feeling of rejection and "what's wrong with me" haven't gone away yet. Many of my friends are still single, but I'm starting to see some of the people around me get married and have kids and be very happy. I've never felt anxiety around this before and it really sucks. I spent an hour this morning googling "dating in your thirties" and looking up egg-freezing. It's ridiculous.
So far, I've led a pretty fulfilling life. I have a job I really enjoy, I play sports and keep myself busy with hobbies and friends and travel. I've never felt that I was missing out until this breakup. And I'm starting to wonder if my approach to dating is too relaxed, or that I need to change myself somehow to be the kind of girl that guys fall for. I just want to know that there's still time. That people find love and happiness and build families in their 30s and 40s and beyond.
96 comments submitted at 11:37:08 on Jun 23, 2014 by isbutteracarb