I was excluded from my friend's party at a club because I'm "fat and ugly." (self.TwoXChromosomes)
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One of my good friends had a birthday last night, which was a two-part event. The first bit was a big group dinner at a sushi place in Brooklyn, which was great! Really fun!
The second part involved going to a rooftop club in Manhattan, and that's where everything went to shit.
Apparently, she had been promised by a promoter friend that she could get all her friends in and free bottles all night. (I should point out that this friend - let's call her Maria - is absolutely stunning, though she doesn't think so - she's about 5'9", long blonde hair, looks like she should be playing a teenager on a CW show. She grew up chubby with bad acne in a family of Eastern European immigrants, so she's still incredibly self-effacing and I don't think she realizes that her looks open doors for her that don't open for other people.) When our group of maybe 11 people gets to this club, however, Maria's promoter friend comes down, looks us over, and goes "I can only take the five prettiest girls. You, you, you, you, and you are fine, but if you're fat or not wearing heels, you have to pay the $50 cover."
So that's pretty gross, first of all. Completely goes against my entire ethos of what constitutes a "good time" - if you're having to stand outside some shitty club in Times Square (TIMES FUCKING SQUARE, IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SOME HIGH-CLASS PLACE) while a ratty-faced Jean-Ralphio lookalike tells you which of your friends aren't pretty enough to get into said shitty club, that's not fun! Who's having fun?
Anyway, Maria takes him aside and talks to him for a couple minutes, then comes back and takes me and our other friend aside and goes "Look, I feel really bad, but he says that you guys don't fit the 'image' of this place, and you two definitely have to pay the cover, but I can get everyone else in. Is that okay? Or should we just go somewhere else?" And then when we said, "Well, maybe we should go somewhere else, that's kind of elitist and gross," she goes, "Ugh, I know, but I promised these people I'd come and I made the reservation a week ago..."
Anyway, we ended up not going up at all. Fuck that. I'm not going to pay $50 to listen to music I hate in a place that thinks I'm too fat/ugly to be there. But now I've just felt like garbage ever since. I'm not even that fat, I don't think - maybe my outfit wasn't flattering, but I don't normally go to places like that, so I had to improvise with whatever I owned. And the thing is, I've been feeling really good about how I look lately, but that's just... gone now.
Ugh. I'm sorry. I just don't understand how you can actually have fun at a place that prides itself on excluding people on the basis of their appearance. Have fun with your bottle service and shitty music, assholes.
ETA: Since this has apparently hit the front page or whatever, a few points of clarity: this isn't about "expecting special treatment," it's about expecting to be treated like a human being. Regardless of whatever club culture is like - and I wouldn't know, because I don't go to them - it fucking hurts to be called ugly and fat. I was bullied over my looks from elementary school until I graduated from high school, and was told to kill myself so that people wouldn't have to look at me more than once. I know I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm normally able to compartmentalize my self-worth and feel good about myself anyway. But all it takes is one really well-placed negative comment to make you feel awful about yourself.
Also, I feel like I need to reiterate that I don't own "club-appropriate" clothing. I don't feel comfortable in things that are short, tight, or cleavage-bearing, let alone all three at once. Normally, I get a lot of compliments on my personal style, but the outfit I put together was the flashiest thing I own. I tried, and it was just another reminder that I'm essentially failing at being a woman. Whatever. Fuck me, right?
297 comments submitted at 17:19:28 on Aug 9, 2014 by GETSOMEFUCKINGNUTS