My vagina is racist against my own people? (self.TwoXChromosomes)

TwoXChromosomes

6 ups - 0 downs = 6 votes

Indian American female checking in. I recently started dating the guy my parents always wanted me to date, I haven't told them about this relationship yet. He is Indian, has multiple degrees from Ivy League Universities, tall, handsome, and a great personality.

We have been together for 4 months but I waited a while before we were intimate, I wanted this relationship to last. Things have been great mentally and emotionally, however when it came to sex it was just bleh. I had to focus really hard to keep myself from drifting away. When he was fucking me it just felt like pressure nothing more to it. And I just felt completely icky when I tried to give him a blow job.

I don’t understand he treats me better than any other guy in the past. The only differing factor was that he is brown, as while all the other guys I have dated in my past were White. I am attracted to him, and I think he is great. I don’t know if this is some type of sexual block that has to be overcome or something.

Do any of you have any experience in this area?

12 comments submitted at 23:33:03 on Aug 26, 2014 by throwawayw2sex

  • [-]
  • ReekItRhymesWithLeek
  • 1 Points
  • 00:25:46, 27 August

Why are you attributing your lack of attraction to his being Indian? Would you do that if he was white? Isn't it possible you just have no sexual chemistry with him?

  • [-]
  • AloneDriftingAlong
  • 1 Points
  • 01:00:33, 27 August

No way, it's totally a case of racist vaginal. The thing about jumping to conclusions is you usually are right the first time and OH LOOK A RAINBOW!

  • [-]
  • danceallnite
  • 1 Points
  • 00:45:20, 27 August

I don't think ethnicity has anything to do with this. Have you tried talking to him or thought about changing up what you do when you get intimate? Are you doing something different with him than you did with previous guys?

Also, from personal experience, you have to want to give the BJ. If you don't, it's bad all around. Take your time and go slow. Just as with other parts of a relationship, you may not like someone right away, you have to get to know them first. In this case, you have to learn what you and he both like when getting intimate. It may not be the same as what you liked in the past.

  • [-]
  • tj1226
  • 1 Points
  • 00:29:14, 27 August

Is he a good kisser? Because if the kissing is good and the sex is bad then the sex can get better, but if the kissing is bad then either he is a bad kisser (lover), or you're not really attracted to him sexually.

You really shouldn't have sex if it isn't pleasurable for you, it's not fair to you, or your partner who probably thinks he's doing a fine job.

  • [-]
  • TheSOB88
  • 1 Points
  • 00:40:19, 27 August

I guess you weren't really "feeling it"? Maybe he doesn't know how to hold you to make you feel like he really wants you? I dunno, I think the problem must be more clearly defined. What part doesn't do it for you?

  • [-]
  • lollibut
  • 1 Points
  • 00:43:48, 27 August

Have a discussion with him about whether there's things he would like to be doing in bed that he's been holding back on because new relationship. If he's still crap after you've OKed those of his weird kinks you can handle... well its your life I'm not going to tell you not to, but sixty or so years of marriage is a long time.

  • [-]
  • ezvee
  • 1 Points
  • 00:41:27, 27 August

Maybe you're having a mental block because he's the guy your PARENTS always wanted you to date. I'm extrapolating, but from that first sentence... it sounds like maybe you're not too keen on playing right into what your parents always wanted you to do, even if you do like this guy. Maybe your rebellious streak is a little bummed?

But there could be a million reasons. Maybe he's so super perfect that you're worried if you let yourself enjoy it and it doesn't work out you will be heartbroken, maybe you do indeed just not like Indian guys etc. etc. This situation might require a little more soul-searching, and some experimenting/and communicating with him.

  • [-]
  • ReekItRhymesWithLeek
  • 1 Points
  • 01:02:42, 27 August

>maybe you do indeed just not like Indian guys etc. etc.

I sincerely don't understand how not liking one Indian guy means all other Indian guys on earth, -- all six-hundred million of them -- are simply disqualified from consideration.

  • [-]
  • nancie_dancie
  • 1 Points
  • 00:10:27, 27 August

There are two contradictory feelings I have.

  1. You like what you like, can't do anything about it.
  2. What you like CAN change to fit your circumstances.

I don't think you could make an conscious effort to change, but you also might be surprised what happens in the long run. My preference completely changed, and in the beginning I remember complaining to my friends that I "wasn't sure I felt attracted."

Don't take my advice to mean "stick with it to the end" but to mean that yes it is possible for your feelings to do a 180.

  • [-]
  • aspmaster
  • 1 Points
  • 01:11:18, 27 August

I've read that we are more sexually attracted to those who are genetically dissimilar, due to pheromone stuff. I have no idea if that alone could cause such nonexistent chemistry, but I suppose it's possible.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 00:25:11, 27 August

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • ReekItRhymesWithLeek
  • 1 Points
  • 00:29:57, 27 August

There's so much nonsense in this post don't know where to start unpacking it all...